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Doctor Talib had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long. No matter how much he tried to forget about it he couldn't. The guilt and sense of betrayal was overwhelming. But every once in a while he'd hear an internal, reassuring voice that said Talib, don't worry about it. You aren't the first doctor to have sex with one of their patients and you won't be the last. And you're single. Just let it go. But invariably another inner voice would bring him back to reality, whispering Talib, you're a veterinarian.

A nubile young woman has just finished a shower and is toweling off when there is a knock at the door of her apartment. Who is it?" she calls out. Blind man, is the reply. She thinks It's a blind man, I'll see what he wants before I get dressed. After all, he can't see anything So she opens the door in the altogether. The fellow at the door says, Wow! you certainly have a beautiful body Where do you want your blinds?

A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. Where's Henry? the others asked. Henry had a stroke o' some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail, the successful hunter replied. You left Henry layin' out there and carried the deer back? they inquired. A tough call, nodded the hunter. But I figured no one's gonna steal Henry!

Two Irishmen are sitting on the curb watching as the bank reprosesses their failed bar. Paddy sighs, Next time we open a brothel. Seamus grunts, If we can't get em to drink beer, how are we going to get them to drink broth?

An American and Russian diplomat are at a formal dinner in the American embassy and are sitting next to each other with their wives when the American says to the Russian: It looks like it’s snowing outside. The Russian answers and says: No, it’s raining. They argue back and forth until the American wife turns to him and says: Hey honey, Rudolph the Red knows rain dear.

A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the head with a frying pan. What was that for? the man asked. The wife replied, That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket! The man then said When I was at the races last week, Jenny was the name of the horse I bet on. The wife apologized and went on with the housework. Three days later the man is watching TV when his wife bashes him on the head with an even bigger...

Lie Detecting Robot A father buys a lie detecting robot that slaps a person when he lies. He decides to test it out on his son at supper. Where were you last night? I was at the library. The robot slaps the son. Okay, I was at a friend’s house. Doing what? asks the father. Watching ‘Toy Story’. The robot slaps the son. Okay, it was porn! cries the son. The father yells, What? When I was your age, I didn’t know what porn was! The robot slaps the father. The mother laughs and says, He certainly is your son!...

Paddy was driving home, drunk as a skunk, suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another. A cop car pulls him over as he veers about all over the road. Paddy tells the cop about all the trees in the road. Cop says For Heaven sake Paddy, that's your air freshener swinging about!

My wife asked, that: if I die first, would you date again? Kinda awkward, I said: after a good long time, probably. My wife then asked: would you let her use my golf clubs? I said: Nah, she's left handed. I get out of the hospital a week from Tuesday.

Attorney riding in his limo sees a family on the side of the road on their hands and knees. He tells his driver to pull over and see if there is a PI case there. The driver informs him that the family is so poor they are eating the grass. The attorney tells the family get in the limo, I will feed you!. I will take you to my home. Later the mother asks are you really going to feed us? And the attorney says hell yes, I fired the Gardner two weeks ago and the grass is out of...

GETTING OLDER A distraught senior citizen phoned her doctor's office. Is it true, she wanted to know, that the medication you prescribed has to be taken for the rest of my life? Yes, I'm afraid so, the doctor told her. There was a moment of silence before the senior lady replied, I'm wondering, then, just how serious is my condition because this prescription is marked NO REFILLS.

A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, ‘Crushed nuts?’ ‘No,’ he replied, ‘Arthritis.

Good Morning! She was standing in the kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the ‘T’ shirt that she normally slept in. As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly “You’ve got to make love to me this very moment!” My eyes lit up and I thought, “I am either still dreaming or this is going to be my lucky day!” Not wanting to lose the moment, I embraced her and then Gave it my all, right there on the kitchen table. Afterwards she said, “Thanks,” and returned to the...

A Marine enters the Catholic Church confessional booth in Jacksonville. He tells the priest, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Last night, I beat the hell out of an Obama supporter.” The priest says, “My son, I’m here to forgive your sins, not to discuss your community service.”

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband’s occupation. “He’s a funeral director,” she answered. “Interesting,” the newsman thought. He then asked her if she wouldn’t mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came...

A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says “Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses.” The woman answered “Well, I have contacts.” The policeman replied “I don’t care who you know! You’re getting a ticket!”

The police department in the Texas Hill Country town of Kerrville reported finding a man's body last Saturday, in the early evening, in the Guadalupe River near the Texas State Highway Loop 98 bridge. The dead man's name would not be released until his family had been notified. The victim apparently drowned due to excessive beer consumption while visiting "someone" in nearby Fredericksburg. When he was found, he was wearing black fishnet stockings, 10-inch spiked heels, a red garter belt, a pink G-string, purple lipstick, dazzel-dust on his eyelids, 2 1/2 inch false eyelashes, and a Biden T-shirt. The police...

repost of video. No Corona!! https://youtu.be/4lWDXoHg79Q

Two old cowboys, Will and Bud, sit'n on a fence telling stories and talking rodeo. Will turns to Bud and asks, "Do you think there's bull riding in Heaven?" Bud thinks about it for a minute and replies, "I dunno. But let's make a deal -- if I die first, I'll come back and tell you if there's bull riding in Heaven, and if you die first, you do the same." They shake on it and sadly, a few months later, poor Will passes on. Soon afterward, Bud sits in on the fence by himself and hears a voice whisper,...

Three scotswomen are walking home at night (they are neighbors) and find a scotsman passed out partially under a wagon. His upper body is under the wagon and they can’t see who he is; however, they would like to help him get home. The first woman looks under his kilt and says, “It’s not my husband”. The second woman looks under his kilt and says, It’s not my husband”. The third woman looks under his kilt and says, “Why he’s not even from our village!”