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Humor (Bloggers & Personal)

Brevity: Headers | « Text »
  • Trump Creates The Most Amazing Jobs Report In American History

    11/03/2018 4:40:17 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 30 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Sitting here on a Saturday morning wondering when Oprah and Barack are going to go up to Michigan to campaign on behalf of the single most-qualified candidate for the U.S. senate running anywhere in this election. That would be John James, a black man, who is running against the execrable Debbie Stabenow, a white woman. Ok, silly me – James is a Republican, so he doesn’t qualify as being “black” in the world of Oprah and Barack. Speaking of America’s Biggest Mistake… – A day after the Oprah campaigned on behalf of...
  • "Experts" Say GOP Ad Featuring Cop Killer Unfair [semi-satire]

    11/02/2018 4:10:34 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 5 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 4 Nov 2018 | John Semmens
    The unveiling of a new GOP TV ad featuring Luis Bracamontes, an illegal immigrant who was convicted of killing two California deputies in 2014, was declared "unfair" by what the media described as numerous "experts." Arizona State University professor Kim Fridkin called it a "scare tactic. Just because some immigrants are murderers doesn't mean we shouldn't let them in. After all, some native born Americans are murderers. Does this mean we should kick them out? I think we ought to pay heed to the wisdom of Forrest Gump. A caravan of immigrants is like a box of chocolates—you never know...
  • "#Me Too Movement" Barney sums it up

    11/02/2018 11:24:54 AM PDT · by Bell Bouy II · 2 replies
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0jwh9NaDeY
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0jwh9NaDeY
  • FLOTUS Friday: Old Oppressive White Guys Strike Again.

    11/02/2018 6:10:10 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 6 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 11-2-18 | MOTUS
    Consider this your official fall fashion alert: plaid is back.Specifically, Glen plaid. I only mention this because you know how the PC (Perpetually Cis-ed off) crowd behind the #metoo movement hate that women have culturally appropriated the fashion of old white guys. I mean, could there be a more quintessentially male fabric than Saville Rowe’s Glen plaid?                                    Worn by every old white guy ever known, from Cary Grant in North by Northwestto Sean Connery’s and Daniel Craig’s uber-macho James Bond.And then along came women like Ginger Rogers and Lana Turner, appropriating the heck out of it.- to the point that...
  • Are You Ready For “Beto 2020”? You Should Be.

    11/02/2018 4:54:58 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 33 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Fake Beto supports the fake “migrant caravan” with real campaign funds. – Project Veritas released a new video overnight that shows staffers for Irish Bob O’Rourke illegally using campaign funds to pay for transportation and supplies for the fake “migrant caravan” that is slowly making its way up through Mexico. Here are a few quotes from staffers that appear in the video: “I just hope nobody that’s the wrong person finds out about this,” says one staffer about sending supplies to the caravan members. “It’s f***ing happening.” exclaims a staffer when discussing...
  • King of Queens explains trump derangement syndrum

    11/02/2018 12:35:50 AM PDT · by PCPOET7 · 7 replies
    youtube ^ | 2-11-2018 | anon
    this will have everyone laughing because some times it takes a Queer leftist to explain how messed up the extreme left.
  • Job Posting for Night Shift Hand Puppet Assembler

    11/01/2018 10:25:51 PM PDT · by waterhill · 14 replies
    Internet Job Site | 11/02/2018 | unknown
    Looking for experienced hand puppet assemblers to work second shift and just hammer out hand puppets. Requirements: an eye for the right dirty old sock to work with. not all socks make a good puppet. on point with a glue gun. not tempted to eat or play with the glue solid skills in gluing the eyes on the sock so they don't scare children strong mouth drawing skills. rapid pace. We pay piece rate on some really solid sock puppets quality control is done with dice. You only get paid on the sock puppets that are on the table when...
  • This Election is the Easiest Decision Americans Have Ever Faced

    11/01/2018 5:07:50 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 7 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Fake news media declares Luis Bracamontes to be a “race”. – President Trump tweeted out a video on Wednesday featuring admitted, convicted multi-murderer Luis Bracamontes on Wednesday, and naturally our fake news media immediately declared the President’s tweet to be the worst thing any person in the history of mankind has ever done. This declaration becomes the 14,982nd time President Donald Trump (I never tire of typing those glorious words) has done something that our fake news media has declared to be the worst thing any person in the history of mankind...
  • The Long GoodBye

    11/01/2018 4:42:13 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 3 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 11-1-18 | MOTUS
    This BOMBSHELL marks the BEGGINING of the END, we’ve reached the TIPPING POINT! The WALLS are CLOSING IN! (and Mexico is going to pay)And still they wonder why conservatives treat them like a NPCs.Remember, it’s not called TV programming for naught. Do not stay tuned.    It will be held at the polling places. How subversive.Posted from: MOTUS A.D.
  • Halloween on Twitter: Political Mayhem, Fake News Zombies and Belly Laughs

    10/31/2018 2:05:41 PM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 2 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    The Evening Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) One of my Twitter followers sent me a private message today asking “how can you vote for some of these Republicans?” Seriously? You have to ask me that? My answer was very simple: “Because they aren’t Democrats.” That was several hours ago, and I haven’t heard back from this person. Frankly, I expect she will un-follow me by the end of the day. Why would I ever vote for another Democrat? It’s a serious question. This is a political party that has over the last three years done everything it can...
  • Leftists Express their Ideas on Religious Tolerance [semi-satire]

    10/31/2018 10:25:29 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 1 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 28 Oct 2018 | John Semmens
    In a speech at a Democratic National Convention event in Philadelphia sponsored by the Boycott, Divest and Sanctions (BDS) movement, the House Armed Services Committee member Rep. Hank Johnson (D-Ga) compared Jewish residents of Judea and Samaria to “termites.” In New York City, posters calling Christian supporters of President Trump “trash” began appearing attached to city litter baskets. Vito Turo, a spokesman for the city’s Department of Sanitation, hastened to reassure city residents that “we do not condone the unlawful defacement of City litter baskets and have asked the artist who designed these posters to submit them for review and...
  • Obama Talking like a Fruit Cake in Wisconsin (Oky Doky alert!)

    10/31/2018 8:05:33 AM PDT · by poconopundit · 58 replies
    I know it's often painful to listen to President Barky give a speech. But listen to him speak in Wisconsin the other day. Tell me the guy is not losing it. I queued up the video at the 24 minute mark. The next two minutes are great for a laugh. He's obviously trying to sound natural like Trump, but he can't pull it off. He stammers and can't get his words out. He also overdoes his gestures and tries to speak in various voices. Is Trump in this guy's head or what? Bhaahaha! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=taVde5N-GG4
  • Halloween In My Little Town

    10/31/2018 5:52:55 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 3 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 10-31-18 | MOTUS
    Autumn color around here has suffered greatly from a dry summer and a fall of seemingly non-stop rain. Leaves that are normally bathed in splendiferous hues turned a dry, dark, dusty green and fell to their early death unadorned. So imagine my delight yesterday when the sun broke through for a bit and illuminated this stand of sugar maples outside my gym window. The gym is right around the corner from our little downtown so I took the opportunity to stroll around a bit to check out this year’s Halloween skeletor creations. You should know that our town, which was...
  • The Media Beclowns Itself on the Anchor Babies Issue. What Else is New?

    10/31/2018 5:03:33 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 7 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Well, now we know why he was transferred. – Infamous Boston Gangster Whitey Bulger was transferred to a new, maximum security prison in Virginia on Tuesday. There, he was beaten to death by several mob-connected inmates before 9:00 a.m. That’s some security right there. Another media narrative epic fail. – Despite the best efforts of our fake news media to lay the blame for the fake pipe bomber solely at President Donald Trump’s feet over the last week, a new poll taken by the ultra-leftwing Huffington Post shows that only 24% of...
  • Cash Giveaways to Fight Poverty [semi-satire]

    10/30/2018 11:29:08 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 2 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 28 Oct 2018 | John Semmens
    Declaring that “it is unfair that whites have more money than minorities,” Sen. Cory (Spartacus) Booker (D-NJ) has concocted a plan to hand wads of cash to “deserving black kids.” Dubbing these giveaways “opportunity accounts,” Booker boasted that “there’s no telling what these young people are capable of doing if only they had the money to do it.” Under Booker’s scheme minority youths would be eligible for “no strings grants of up to $50,000 they could use for wealth-building purposes. Most of the investment opportunities in the ghetto require cash. We’ll be giving these youngsters cash they could use to...
  • You Say You Want A Revolution, Well...

    10/30/2018 6:03:41 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 14 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 10-31-18 | MOTUS
    CHRISTOPHER DOMBRES: The Ruling ClassAs I write there are two Scuttling Cockroach Lonely Hearts Club Armies™ making their way towards our borders, and 5200 additional armed troops on the way to defend the border. What could go wrong? And who started this insurrection? Hint: It wasn’t President Donald J. Trump. Angelo Codevilla provides an in depth understanding of the nature and trajectory of today’s deep riff in the American fabric that he first tagged as a "cold civil war." It seems he’s upgraded it now to a “revolution.” The American republic’s essence had been self-restraint toward fellow citizens deemed equals....
  • Avenatti/Ioffe: The Perfect Democrat Ticket for 2020

    10/30/2018 4:55:14 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 8 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) I’m convinced she’s a vampire – she’s never going away. – The Pantsuit Princess was in the news yet again on Monday, doing some public sit down talk before an audience of overpaying suckers. Looking as if she was enjoying the relaxing effects of some sort of prescription medication, she had this to say when the moderator mis-identified Eric Holder as Cory Booker: Matt Batzel ✔ @MattBatzel Wow. Hillary tries to crack joke after Moderator confuses Eric Holder and Cory Booker: “I know they all look alike” pic.twitter.com/K1BpdShf8k #maga 4:12 PM -...
  • Avenatti quietly builds 2020 machine

    10/29/2018 3:29:00 PM PDT · by dynachrome · 61 replies
    Politico ^ | 10-29-18 | NATASHA KORECKI
    Michael Avenatti has assembled a team of Democratic political veterans who are helping him coordinate meetings with donors, connect with national and state party officials, craft messaging and build out a digital fundraising apparatus designed to enable a 2020 presidential bid. Avenatti’s already long prospects suffered a blow Thursday after he was quoted in Time magazine as saying the Democratic presidential nominee who will battle President Donald Trump “better be a white male” — remarks he contends were taken out of context. The same day, the Senate Judiciary Committee referred Avenatti and his client Julie Swetnick to the Justice Department...
  • CNN Says Trump a “White Nationalist” [semi-satire]

    10/29/2018 11:20:22 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 4 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 28 Oct 2018 | John Semmens
    President Trump’s assertion that he is a “nationalist” inspired CNN reporter Jim Acosta to characterize him as a “white nationalist.” Trump’s remarks were in the context of trying to differentiate his views from those of a globalist, who he argued “is a person that wants the globe to do well, frankly, not caring about our country so much. I’m a nationalist. I want what’s good for America.” In what Acosta hoped would be a “gotcha moment” at a White House meeting for the press, he pointed out to the President that “saying you’re a nationalist combined with the fact that...
  • Blexit, Bolsonaro, Merkel: Globalism is Dying

    10/29/2018 5:02:11 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 14 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Your Democrat Mob in action! – There is no end to the depravity of the Democrat Mob, no violation of societal norms to which they will not stoop. Don’t believe me? Yesterday, a group of Democrat mobsters disrupted a Marsha Blackburn rally in Tennessee as the audience was observing a moment of silence for the victims of the Tree of Life massacre in Pittsburgh. I swear I don’t make this stuff up. Who could? They do that about everything else, so why should oil and gas be any different? – Hotair.com has...