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Humor (Bloggers & Personal)

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  • That Time President Trump Refused To Play The Democrats Bad Faith Game

    01/10/2019 4:35:42 AM PST · by EyesOfTX · 22 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Oh, no, what will the nation do without him in the race? Wait, who’s he again? – Billionaire Tom Steyer – the fake environmental activist who accumulated his wealth via coal investments – announced yesterday that he won’t be running for president, and will instead focus his efforts on bribing and bullying Democrats to impeach President Donald Trump. Thus, he gives up one hopeless, very costly pursuit for another. Upon reading the “news” of Steyer’s decision not to enter the Democrat nomination race, 98% of Americans will look at their spouse or...
  • Prove Me Wrong

    01/09/2019 6:01:18 AM PST · by NOBO2012 · 10 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 1-9-19 | MOTUS
    Home, home on the range Where the deer and the antelope play Where seldom is heard An encouraging word And the skies are still cloudy all day (apologies to Roy Rogers)Well, President Trump addressed the nation last night. The only surprise was that the networks decided to carry it. Somebody reminded them it’s not their place to determine whether the American people are permitted to hear the President’s words, whether they consider them to be “filled with lies” or not.  Chuck and Nancy handed network execs a graceful resolution by demanding their own version of Net Neutrality via equal time.Chuckie...
  • The Fake Media Disgraces Itself In The Wake Of The President’s Speech

    01/09/2019 4:43:18 AM PST · by EyesOfTX · 11 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Your fake news media in action! – President Trump gave a 9 minute speech on the need for ramped-up border security Tuesday night, and in response, the Associated Press disgraced itself with a “report” on the speech that is so biased that it reads like the work of a 14 year-old writing for the local jr. high newspaper. The AP report’s very first sentence claims that the President’s speech “was heavy with dark immigration rhetoric but offered little in the way of concessions or new ideas”. The word “dark” has long been...
  • O’Rourke 2020 Presidential Campaign Scores Endorsement Coup [semi-satire]

    01/08/2019 8:07:41 AM PST · by John Semmens · 4 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 6 Jan 2019 | John Semmens
    Unwilling to undergo the sex and pigment alterations that his advisers say is essential to compete for the 2020 Democratic presidential nomination, recently defeated Texas senatorial candidate Beto O’Rourke has scored a major coup by getting the endorsement of unsuccessful 2016 presidential candidate former Maryland Governor Martin O’Malley. “Like every Irishman I know, Beto has the wisdom to listen, the courage to lead, and a rock-solid faith in the powerful goodness of our nation,” O’Malley asserted. “I am proud to hand over the torch I lit for my campaign to the man who can carry my bold vision forward to...
  • More Wyoming And Less Washington, Please

    01/08/2019 6:21:30 AM PST · by NOBO2012 · 16 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 1-8-19 | MOTUS
    We literally blew into Cheyenne last night. Wyoming never disappoints but yesterday was one of their epic High Wind Alert days, complete with Interstate closures to “light high-profile vehicles.” I’m not positive exactly what sort of vehicle that is but I’m pretty sure empty semi-tractor trailers qualify as you always see a few of them flipped over on the side of the road when the wind socks are flying parallel.It was also inauguration day for Mark Gordon, Wyoming’s new governor. We should have known something was up as all the hotel rates were hyper-inflated. Another clue: when we checked in...
  • Are We Ready For John Roberts To Decide The Wall Fight? Because That Might Happen.

    01/08/2019 5:28:26 AM PST · by EyesOfTX · 62 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Time to get that wall built. – President Donald Trump will deliver a nationally-televised address on the border situation this evening at 8:00 p.m. Central Time, at which time it is rumored that the Evil Orange Man plans to declare a national emergency and order the border wall to be financed via the military budget. This would be an entirely reasonable move for the President to make in the face of an obstructionist congress, one he clearly has the constitutional authority to enter into, one that has all sorts of precedent in...
  • Ocasio-Cortez Pitches Confiscatory Taxes [semi-satire]

    01/07/2019 10:15:23 AM PST · by John Semmens · 5 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 6 Jan 2019 | John Semmens
    ewly elected socialist firebrand Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) told CNN’s Anderson Cooper that “if we want economic growth and a fairer distribution of wealth the rich will have to pay more in taxes.” She cited history to back her claim. “In the 1960s, before President Kennedy’s tax cut, both economic growth and taxes in this country were higher than today,” the first-term congresswoman observed. “In more progressive countries like the Soviet Union and Communist China economic growth was even faster with the government essentially controlling all the investment and distribution decisions.” “My ‘Green New Deal’ is a moderate first step...
  • Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez: Marxism’s New Stalking Horse in America

    01/07/2019 4:53:49 AM PST · by EyesOfTX · 35 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) That moment when all the liberal, rich New York Times subscribers on the Upper East Side sat up and said “hey, wait, that’s us!” – Alexandria Ocasio Cortez, who is fast replacing Bernie Sanders as Marxism’s favorite stalking horse in the United States, sat down for an interview on 60 Minutes with Anderson Cooper on Sunday, and hilarity predictably ensued. First, our intrepid dancing heroine was, as always, completely unable to explain how she would pay for the $40 Trillion-plus price tag for her “Green New Deal” set of proposals, because of...
  • Pelosi Says Building Border Wall Immoral [semi-satire]

    01/06/2019 10:06:29 AM PST · by John Semmens · 4 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 6 Jan 2019 | John Semmens
    Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) stood by her pledge to “not appropriate a single dollar for a border wall” contending that “building such a wall would be immoral.” “Look, building an impermeable barrier would block the natural migration patterns of the herds of immigrants and the predators that depend upon them for their sustenance,” the Speaker said. “The more hospitable conditions on the American side benefit both the predators and their prey. The prey can qualify for numerous government payments that will enable them to support more offspring. The monetary stipends increase the rewards for predators who rob...
  • We’re Going To Build A Fence And The Antelope Are Going To Pay For It

    01/06/2019 5:40:47 AM PST · by NOBO2012 · 11 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 1-6-19 | MOTUS
    Well kids, you’re on your own today. We’re heading out into the mountains. We’ve got clear forecasts for the 3 day trip but things can change on a dime and traveling across the Continental Divide through Wyoming is always iffy this time of year. Even if it isn’t snowing the wind can whip the fallen snow into whiteout conditions. Mountain passes in the winter aren’t for wimps.Interesting side note: See those structures on the left? They’re snow fences, somewhat ubiquitous on highways in the northern climes now days but apparently they were originally researched, designed and tested in Wyoming. Their...
  • Romney Assails Trump's Impoliteness [semi-satire]

    01/05/2019 9:17:16 AM PST · by John Semmens · 2 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 6 Jan 2019 | John Semmens
    Incoming freshman Senator Mitt Romney (R-UT) took to the pages of the Washington Post to chastise President Trump for his "unbearable impoliteness. Those of us in public service have a moral obligation to conduct ourselves with the utmost civility, no matter what. Trump's claim that he is only punching back at those who attack him doesn't absolve him of this responsibility." "When I ran for president in 2012 I was vilified by the media and Democrats," Romney recalled. "Lies aimed at besmirching my character were commonplace. Even the moderator at one of my debates with President Obama incorrectly corrected me...
  • What a Hoser, eh?

    01/05/2019 5:22:52 AM PST · by NOBO2012 · 7 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 1-5-19 | MOTUS
    No, I’m not going to post the cute video of Sandy O.C. and her college friends dancing to Listomania. It is cute, and it was made 10 years ago when “lip-dubbing” videos were all the rage. But let it serve as a warning to the children of the social media age who plan on ruling the world some day: the innertubes are forever.So today I’m going to help Jettie G shoulder the responsibility of making fun of Canada’s socialist-open-borders Prime Minister. The article comes compliments of Ed Driscoll who titles all of his coverage of our neighbors to the north...
  • Are Experts Who Are Always Wrong Really “Experts” At All?

    01/05/2019 4:55:40 AM PST · by EyesOfTX · 26 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) The rules, they are a-changin’. – Hey, remember when all your Democrat friends were telling you that the appropriation of other cultures by white people was all bad and stuff, or something? Well, apparently that’s all gone by the wayside now that Fauxcahontas, one of the most pasty-white people you have ever seen in your life, is running for president. That’s right: Little Mouth Always Running, on her campaign’s website, is now telling us that it is somehow “racist” to criticize her for pretending to be an American Indian in order to...
  • Gov't "Shutdown" May Last Years [semi-satire]

    01/04/2019 2:52:11 PM PST · by John Semmens · 8 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 6 Jan 2019 | John Semmens
    President Trump's statement that he is willing to have the government "shutdown" last for years, if that's what it takes to get funding for a border wall, has Democratic Party leaders agog. Senate Minority Leader Charles Schumer (D-NY) called the threat "cruel and insensitive toward the non-essential federal workers who are bearing the brunt of this insane tactic. They all have families to feed. They need the checks they've come to expect every two weeks." House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) contended "non-essential or not, these employees are part of the brain that keeps America alive and kicking. Citizens wouldn't know...
  • Pelosi Dodders Back Onto The Nation’s Main Stage

    01/04/2019 5:36:35 AM PST · by EyesOfTX · 29 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Hey, remember when the Democrats pretended they might not try to impeach President Donald Trump while the were campaigning last year? – Yeah, that mask has come off completely now. Minnesota’s new Muslim rookie congressperson, someone named Rashida Tlaib, told a gathering of leftist radicals last night that “We’re gonna go in and impeach the motherf*cker. At least she did if you believe the multiple fake reporters who covered the event, which we all know is a bit of a crap shoot. Tlaib apparently wasn’t aware the leering press was in that...
  • " What Kind of a Woman Do You Think I am…”

    01/03/2019 5:56:32 AM PST · by NOBO2012 · 9 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 1-3-19 | MOTUS
    Churchill: "Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds?" Socialite: "My goodness, Mr. Churchill... Well, I suppose... we would have to discuss terms, of course... " Churchill: "Would you sleep with me for five pounds?"Socialite: "Mr. Churchill, what kind of woman do you think I am?!Churchill: "Madam, we've already established that. Now we are haggling about the price” Yes, it’s a very old joke, variously attributed to Churchill. George Bernard Shaw and a multitude of other powerful men. We might consider adding President Donald J. Trump to that list of powerful men, with the role of “socialite”...
  • Just Like 2012, Romney Folds Like a Cheap Suit

    01/03/2019 5:12:04 AM PST · by EyesOfTX · 43 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Just like in 2012, Mitt Romney folds like a cheap suit. – Maybe it was the backlash of outrage emanating from the GOP base in the wake of his idiotic opinion piece in the Washington Post; perhaps it was President Trump’s refusal to take his bait; or maybe it was the Twitter tongue-lashing he received from his own niece who chairs the Republican National Committee: Ronna McDaniel ✔ @GOPChairwoman POTUS is attacked and obstructed by the MSM media and Democrats 24/7. For an incoming Republican freshman senator to attack @realdonaldtrump as their first act feeds into what the Democrats and...
  • Special Counsel to Implement a Nude Selfie’ Strategy [semi-satire]

    01/02/2019 9:28:02 PM PST · by John Semmens · 1 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 30 Dec 2018 | John Semmens
    Robert Mueller, the Special Counsel appointed to investigate possible collusion between the Trump presidential campaign and Russia, has opened a new front after discovering a “nude selfie” among the millions of pages of documents it has seized from Concord Management. Mueller called the discovery “a real eye opener. The depravity I’ve unveiled since I began my quest to rid the nation of the evil Trump Administration has lurched from covertly recorded conversations between members of the Trump campaign and the provocateurs the FBI inserted within their ranks to simulate illicit connections with Russians, to coerced admissions of lying to FBI...
  • Senators Wonder If Catholics Are Qualified to Be Judges [semi-satire]

    01/02/2019 8:39:55 AM PST · by John Semmens · 8 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 30 Dec 2018 | John Semmens
    Senators Mazie Hirono (D-Hawaii) and Kamala Harris (D-Calif) are concerned that judicial nominee Brian Buescher's membership in the Knights of Columbus—a Catholic charity—might disqualify him from being confirmed as a federal judge. "In general, Catholics are kind of out of step with the values I think we want our country to have," Hirono said. "Their belief that marriage is a bond between a man and a woman and their opposition to abortion are at odds with the law. Joining the Knights of Columbus demonstrates a degree of religious fanaticism beyond that of the typical Sunday churchgoer. Should we put such...
  • Let Our Better Angels Prevail

    01/02/2019 6:09:52 AM PST · by NOBO2012 · 4 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 1-2-19 | MOTUS
    “US agents fire tear gas into Mexico at 'violent mob' near border” “US agents fire tear gas into Mexico at violent mob near border” See the difference? One is fake news (aka propaganda) the other is just news. “Once again we have had a violent mob of migrants attempt to enter the United States illegally by attacking our agents with projectiles. The agents involved should be applauded for handling the situation with no reported injuries to the attackers.” - Katie Waldman, Homeland Security spokeswoman But America’s elite class has determined that you are not smart enough to noodle facts...