Free Republic

Clever Texans have implemented a new strategy to stop Californians from fleeing their terrible state and ruining Texas with the same policies. Sneaking up to Oklahoma in the middle of the night, brave defenders of the Lone Star State installed "Welcome to Texas" signs atop the "Welcome to Oklahoma" signs surrounding Texas's neighbor. Californians, whose minds have been slowed from years of marijuana, sushi, and the patchouli of hippies, won't be smart enough to notice the difference and will settle down in Oklahoma, not realizing they moved to the wrong state.

President Trump's suggestion that we need to pivot from battling with COVID-19 to resurrecting the economy has been met with criticisms from Democrats. "We've done a pretty good job flattening the curve," Trump said. "We met all the states' requests for equipment to ensure that our hospitals wouldn't be overwhelmed. We even built some new hospitals in the New York City hot spot. We're well on our way to winning on this front. Now, I think we need to get to work on rescuing the people flattened by the temporary economic shutdown. People who have been blocked from earning an...

Gov. Gretchen Whitmer (D-Mich) ordered state police to “investigate and exterminate unauthorized gardens” that have popped up in the increasingly warm spring weather in her state. “Look, I outlawed the purchase of seeds as part of my stay-at-home directive,” she explained. “The appearance of well-tended gardens raises suspicion that the homeowner has either illegally bought seeds, gone outside for nonessential activity, or both. If we allow some individuals to flout the law like this people will tend to lose confidence in my governance.” “I have instructed law enforcement to act on either on their own initiative or in response to...

Gov. Andrew Cuomo (D-NY) issued an executive decree absolving all tenants from having to pay rent until August 20. "Since it was my previous decree barring all nonessential businesses from operating during the pandemic that ended the employment of millions of workers, it is only fair that I also decree that no one be required to pay rent until I deem it appropriate to allow these businesses to reopen," he said. The Governor acknowledged that "this may seem unfair to landlords who will lose their incomes during the rent holiday. But as former President Jimmy Carter said, 'life is unfair.'...

Pennsylvania Gov. Tom Wolf (D) vetoed a bill that would have expanded patients’ access to telemedicine services during the coronavirus lockdown because “it didn’t include at home abortions.” In his veto message Wolf explained that “Planned Parenthood spent $1.5 million to help me win reelection. I would be a terrible ingrate if I failed to protect their interests.” Critics pointed out that the veto will prevent a wide array of patients with serious health concerns from consulting with a doctor. Wolf expressed his sympathy, but asserted that “securing the equal treatment of all medical issues has to take precedence over...

Disclosure of previously withheld FBI documents reveal that rather than pursuing an honest investigation of former National Security Adviser General Michael Flynn, the FBI plotted to entrap him. This prompted Attorney General William Barr to order that the case against him be dropped. "When we look at the evidence it is clear that there is no underlying crime," Barr observed. "As in-coming NSA, Flynn was acting within the scope of his duties to converse with the Russian Ambassador. The FBI's transcript of its illegal wire tap of Flynn showed no illicit content. Yet, the FBI proceeded to entrap him by...

President Rump's offer to provide his anticipated Democratic opponent for president with "the same kind of rapid COVID-19 testing system that I have so he can get out of quarantine and back on the campaign trail" was denounced by former Vice-President Joe Biden's campaign manager Greg Schultz as "attempted murder." "Trump knows that Joe is a member of the aged and decrepit cohort of the population that is most vulnerable to the virus," Schultz charged. "These tests don't provide any protection from infection for the person being tested. They only assure that the person is not likely to infect others....

This video is an 8 minute satire featuring a man speaking as if believing the MSM and "experts" is the "normal" way to live one's life, while giving evidence to the contrary with a trusting smile.Here's the link:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QcUAG6t5aN8&app=desktopAs a side note, last night's Sean Hannity video keeps being deleted from Youtube, but fortunately I posted the transcript since I assumed YOUTUBE wouldn't leave it up.Likewise this little parody video says things Youtube won't like so it's likely to "go away" if it becomes popular. If you're interested in reading the auto-generated transcript of the video, here it is with out...

Filmmaker and Bernie Sanders supporter Michael Moore's new movie "Planet of the Humans" characterizes so-called green energy as just another crony capitalist scam. "We went into this project hoping to prove the superiority of green energy," Moore said. "We found out otherwise." "Consider, the solar panels needed to generate electricity are made with metallurgical coal and require 16 times more materials in the form of cement, glass, and steel than do nuclear plants, and create 300 times more waste," Moore observed. "Then there are the renewable bio-fuels that are produced using tractors that run on diesel, use water pumped by...

The Chinese government has laid off its entire propaganda arm, cutting thousands of jobs at China Central Television and other state-run media outlets as the American media is already doing their job for them. "It seemed kinda redundant for us to have a state-run media when we have the American press," said President Xi at a press conference Monday. "The American media is carrying water for us. It's pretty incredible. We unleashed a virus on the world and lied about it for months, and the American press can't stop praising us. As long as they make their orange leader look...

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif) has decided "against returning to Washington for the foreseeable future. With so many of our members being in the decrepit geezers cohort of the population, it's just too dangerous. We're going to follow Dr. Fauci's advice and shelter at home until a COVID vaccine is developed." The Speaker hastened to reassure concerned citizens "not to worry about us. We'll be okay. As essential government workers our full salaries continue to be paid. So even the poorest among us will be able to survive for the duration. On top of this, we'll be saving taxpayers the...

A solid refutation of the media meme contending that President Trump is an idiot for suggesting that a malaria drug could be a "game changer" in the battle against the coronavirus was delivered by a report from the Association of American Physicians and Surgeons (AAPS) showing that 91% of 2,333 patients treated with hydroxychloroquine benefited from the drug. Dr. Anthony Fauci, head of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, funder of the Wuhan lab experimenting with the coronavirus, and the chief medical adviser to the White House Coronavirus Task Force, downplayed these findings saying that "in my mind...

After weeks of negative comments on how President Trump is handling the coronavirus crisis, presumptive Democratic presidential nominee former Vice-President Joe Biden has finally said what he would have done if he had been in office when the pandemic arose. "In addition to doing everything Trump has done, only faster and harder, I would have lowered the flag to half mast in honor of all those who died," Biden boasted. "I would have banned travel from China before anyone in the US got the virus. Then I would have immediately canceled all mass gatherings at sporting events, churches, concerts, and...

Canterbury Village's plans to set up an improvised drive-in movie theater with 20' by 20' spaces for each car and the audio broadcast over a local FM radio station were halted by megalomaniac Gov. Gretchen Whitmer (D). Whitmer explained that "the legislature granted me absolute power to handle the COVID crisis as I see fit. One of the things that I have shutdown across the state is movie theaters. Just because the folks at Canterbury Village were able to ensure the required minimum social distancing at their improvised outdoor theater doesn't mean they get a pass from me. In my...

Citing the "unprecedented opportunity presented by the COVID crisis," the Clinton Foundation is working on a plan to employ the 30 million who have lost their jobs due to the shutdown as government spies. Participants in developing this plan include former President Bill Clinton (retired sexual predator), Governor Andrew Cuomo (nursing home murderer), Chelsea Clinton (beneficiary of nepotism), and Governor Gavin Newsom (Chinese dupe). "Obviously, we can't sustain an economy where tens of millions are permanently unemployed," Cuomo said. "But we can't go back to the way it was before the COVID pandemic. In New York City Mayor de Blasio...

Previously withheld FBI documents related to the Agency's case against Gen. Michael Flynn were uncovered this week. On the one hand, exculpatory evidence that had been denied to Flynn's attorneys was revealed. On the other hand, an illegal plot designed to entrap the General was documented. James Comey, FBI Director at the time these illegal actions were taken, maintains that "these were standard procedures. When the Agency has an opportunity to take down a bad guy, every option to accomplish the job is in play. We brainstormed a few ideas, got the okay on a course of action from President...

Joe Biden has finally announced his running mate: Hillary Clinton. He made the selection while several laser dots were carefully trained on his vital organs.

SACRAMENTO, CA—Governor Gavin Newsom has instructed detention facilities across California to begin releasing violent felons to make room for skateboarders, surfers, and other people who have committed the heinous crime of going outside. Thousands of cells have now been freed up for "the dregs of society," as Newsom referred to people who go to the beach or skate at a skate park. As the felons left the prisons, they laughed at the skaters and surfers entering their previous cells. The skater bros just said, "Dude, not cool" and the surfers said, "Totes not stoked bra, major kook move dude." "We...

Irked that Californians are starting to flout his demand that they stay at home, Gov. Gavin Newsom (D) announced the release of seven prisoners into the Orange County area. Orange County District Attorney Toff Spitzer objected to the action saying “these kinds of high-risk sex offenders are the most dangerous kind of criminal and the most likely to re-offend.” “That’s precisely the reason why these inmates were selected for release,” Newsom said. “Look, fear of COVID has diminished to the point that thousands of people in Orange County have defied my ban on going to the beach. Let’s see if...

Former President Barack Obama violated Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam's stay-at-home order by sneaking out to play golf. He also embarrassed his wife whose broadcast message urged folks to "remember, we urge you to stay home except if you need essential health care, essential food or supplies, or to go to your essential job." Barack defended his golf outing contending "it was essential health care. Michelle's great and I love her, but being cooped up at home day after day is very stressful. Besides, what activity could be more socially distancing than golf. I can't understand why Gov. Northam banned it....