Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

DUmmie FUnnies 06-23-05 ("Al Gore is still president")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | June 23, 2005 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 06/23/2005 7:31:13 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

I have always stated that the DUmmies believe in an Alternate Reality and this THREAD titled, “Al Gore is still president,” only confirms this. Yes, the REAL reality of Bush being President with a Republican senate and congress is just too much for the DUmmies to bear so they have to set up their own Leftwing reality in the alternate universe. So let us take a psychedelic trip thru the space-time continuum to the alternate DUmmie reality where there is a President Gore and liberalism reigns supreme. As usual the DUmmie fantasies are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, encountering a plethora of Black Monoliths in orbit around Jupiter, is in the [brackets]:

Al Gore is still president.

[And Michael Dukakis is still ex-president. Continue with your entertaining delusion, DUmmie Fescue4u…]

According to Quantum physics, every possiblity actually occurs in a different dimension. For example, if you come to a fork in the road and you go right, in another quantum reality another version of you goes left.

[In your quantum reality, VERY FAR left.]

So, if the theory holds. In another quantum reality, there is a nation full of Happy free people who have just reelected Al Gore to another 4 years.

[The other Quantum Reality BETRAYED US!!!]

9/11 didnt happen. No Iraq war. No Abu Gharib. Bush is still a 2 bit govenor down in Texas.

[Yeah. 9/11 didn’t happen because the terrorists were too scared of the economic sanctions that Gore would have placed on Afghanistan in retaliation.]

Or if you prefer, in another quantum reality, Kerry is getting settled into his office after roundly defeating Bush.

[I BEEEELEEEEVE that Kerry will be inaugurated on Jan. 20 in the alternate quantum reality!]

Bush has been indicted on war crimes and proof of election fraud has been uncovered. Jobs on the increase, the stock market is rising and the troops are all coming home this weekend.

[Kerry has finally SENT in his signed Form 180…]

DAMN. I am sure am jealous of those folks in these other Quantum realitys

[Oh, I’m sure one of your many meds can help you enter the other Quantum reality. But let us now her from your fellow alternate reality DUmmies…]

Well I wish I were there instead of here then

[Isn’t that the purpose of LSD?]

I think about that all the time. What it would be like if it was Al Gore as my president now. This past November I would've proudly voted for his second term and he would be there.

[Did you attend Al Gore’s inauguration in the Jan. 20 of the Alternate Reality? It was a formal event. Coat and tie and tinfoil hat required.]

Given the number of choices/probabilities I don't really support the many worlds theory. Simply b/c of Newton's laws of conservation of energy. From where do these realities come from ? Do they exist concurrently ? If so, what separates us ? An different vibrational frequency ? Perhaps an energy signature that keys us into THIS reality.

[Perhaps you should consult Dr. Emmett Brown on how to enter an Alternate Reality in a DeLorean car.]

One could easily argue that 'observation', 'mind', and 'perception' are the only actors in the determination of reality... in which case each 'quantum' universe would become dependent upon a particular observer or combination of observations. Then one must ask 'what entities are capable of observation?'. Trees? Humans? Rocks? Paris Hilton?

[Andy Stephenson?]

Interesting... so Dennis Kucinich is president in one of these worlds. Kick ass!!!

[It’s the Evil Elf Alternate Reality.]

In one of mine Al Gore is my president and Howard Dean is my VP.

[aka the Screeching Duo.]

So if your 'multiple quantum realities' or 'multiverse' theory holds true, then humanity will have already achieved divinity and therefore omniscience, omnipresence, and omnipotence in any one of those universii (one is all it would take.). With the mastery of time, space, and consciousness, linear time becomes irrelevant and theoretical quantum differentiation would also become irrelevant. We have won over oblivion no matter what. Got questions?

[Yes. Is there life after birth?]

Sweeet..Maybe one of the omnipotent, omnipotent, omniscience folks can take a break and come save our asses.

[MIGHTY MOUSE! Here he comes to save the day!]

Let's think about it...What do we have to worry about if I'm right? As far as our 'Divine Descendants' are concerned, the universe is based upon sentience... now let's not get into what is and is not sentient... Therefore, reality is gauged on the experience of it's denizens. (That would be everybody and everything) So... if they even vaguely emulate us in our quest to 'remember' everything... to know everything... would they not preserve every single thought, event, action, emotion, reality that ever occurred? Hell, I would. And if the 'multiverse' possibilities are infinite, then there is a universe wherein the denizens would, will, have, and do preserve our each and every consciousness. Remember - these entities transcend all of time and space. They are masters of consciousness... and we are a giant hard drive... part of God so to speak.

[We await the English translation of your reply.]

Actually, a President named Keel is getting ready to create a Paranormal Affairs Committee to deal with the sudden appearance of vampires, superhumans, and other strange creatures that have appeared amongst us.

[Actually Dummieland IS a giant Paranormal Affairs Committee.]

sometimes I go away to my happy place where al gore is president. Can you just imagine the world right now? the way that one factor (a certain president we all know) can just mess things up. I want to go to the parallel universe!

[Yes. I know that Happy Place. It is the place where the good folks in the white coats hand you a butterfly net to play with during recess from your rubber room.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: algore; dummies
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-6061-80 ... 161-168 next last
I want to enter the alternate Quantum Reality where Mary Matalin hands me a million dollar advance for my DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert for related comix stories AND other goodies) deal. Actually in the REAL reality, such an advance would be reasonable because the DUmmie FUnnies book is SURE to be a HUGE seller. In part because of the funny material and also due to the incredible and revolutionary plans I have for the CD-ROM insert section. Sorry, Mary, but I can't reveal more about what I have in mind for the CD-ROM section in a public forum because other authors would be sure to steal the ideas. However, I will talk to you in detail about it over lunch. So let us set up a lunch date to discuss a DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert for related comix stories AND other goodies) deal. To set the date, just contact me at: PJ-Comix .

Let me know if you want on the DUmmie FUnnies PING List.

1 posted on 06/23/2005 7:31:15 AM PDT by PJ-Comix
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

Ping!


2 posted on 06/23/2005 7:31:44 AM PDT by Carling (FReemail me if you want articles that interest, well...me!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; tje; ml1954; ...

PING!


3 posted on 06/23/2005 7:32:48 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

4th?


4 posted on 06/23/2005 7:34:57 AM PDT by samiam1972 (Live simply so that others may simply live!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

Top 10!


5 posted on 06/23/2005 7:35:46 AM PDT by volvox (How much money have you raised Undie? How much have your treatments cost?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

WAIT A MINUTE!!! I thought KERRY was president??? No WAIT!!! I thought Martin Sheen was president??? I'M SOOOO CONFUSED!!


6 posted on 06/23/2005 7:35:59 AM PDT by areafiftyone (Politicians Are Like Diapers, Both Need To Be Changed Often And For The Same Reason!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

Top ten?


7 posted on 06/23/2005 7:36:15 AM PDT by volvox (How much money have you raised Undie? How much have your treatments cost?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
sometimes I go away to my happy place where al gore is president. Can you just imagine the world right now?

"... everybody wearing burqas, whether they like it or not... no more filthy JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS..."

(Top 10...?) :)

8 posted on 06/23/2005 7:36:30 AM PDT by KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle ("As a conservative site, Free Republic is pro-G-d, PRO-LIFE..." -- FR founder Jim Robinson)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle

See what happens when you mix medications? :)


9 posted on 06/23/2005 7:37:45 AM PDT by TheBigB (Why yes, I -do- rock! Thanks for noticing!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

10?


10 posted on 06/23/2005 7:37:55 AM PDT by Choose Ye This Day ("I don't think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday." -- Abraham Lincoln)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

What a complete load of Fruit Loops - these people are straight-up bat-s#it crazy.


11 posted on 06/23/2005 7:39:40 AM PDT by ItsOurTimeNow ("Para espanol, marque el dos.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

4.. just proves I'm slakin right now.. nothing else


12 posted on 06/23/2005 7:39:44 AM PDT by SCALEMAN (Durbin now stands in Jane Fonda's shadow)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: KentTrappedInLiberalSeattle

Al Gore: That's not a happy place.


13 posted on 06/23/2005 7:40:10 AM PDT by Poser (Joining Belly Girl in the Pajamahadeen)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 8 | View Replies]

To: TheBigB

14 posted on 06/23/2005 7:40:12 AM PDT by Zacs Mom (Proud wife of a Marine! ... and purveyor of "rampant, unedited dialogue")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 9 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

President Al Gore, whew, we dodged a bullet there.


15 posted on 06/23/2005 7:40:20 AM PDT by Ditter
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
[Isn’t that the purpose of LSD?]

Coffee Meets Keyboard.

16 posted on 06/23/2005 7:40:52 AM PDT by Not A Snowbird (Official RKBA Landscaper and Arborist, Duchess of Green Leafy Things)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix
Al Gore is still president.

I BELIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVE!!!!!!!!!!!

Ibelieveibelieveibelieveibelieve. . . . .

But wait! What does this do to President Kerry?

Experiencing cognitive dissonance here. . . .

17 posted on 06/23/2005 7:40:55 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Can they both be President at the same time?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

Ben Burch and Andy Stephenson have their hard rives set to a different vibrattional frequency, if you get my drift.

Definitely an alternative universe.


18 posted on 06/23/2005 7:41:29 AM PDT by Choose Ye This Day ("I don't think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday." -- Abraham Lincoln)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: PJ-Comix

WOW! Proving once again...liberalism IS a MENTAL disorder!


19 posted on 06/23/2005 7:41:41 AM PDT by BureaucratusMaximus (Socialists are blessed with the desire to serve others. That's why most of them work @ McDonalds)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Choose Ye This Day

"hard drives"

Dang it!


20 posted on 06/23/2005 7:41:52 AM PDT by Choose Ye This Day ("I don't think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday." -- Abraham Lincoln)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 18 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-4041-6061-80 ... 161-168 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Bloggers & Personal
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson