Time Is Ripe for Openly Gay President Says Carter

A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 18 December 2010 | John Semmens

[John Semmens]

Former President Jimmy Carter came out forthrightly in favor of an openly gay person as president of the United States.

“We’re breaking down the barriers that have been in place for hundreds of years,” Carter asserted. “President Obama is our first openly Black president. President Clinton was our first proven fornicating president. I think it’s about time that we have our first openly homosexual president.”

Carter dismissed rumors that several former presidents may have been secretly gay as irrelevant. “I know there are those who say Lincoln may have been gay,” Carter admitted. “And Buchanan, a lifelong bachelor, certainly had the look of a sodomite. But neither acknowledged being gay.”

The former President speculated that “an openly gay US President would likely improve our nation’s relationships with Middle Eastern countries” because “these are places where pederasty is very common and the leaders of these countries would then share more of a common bond with our gay president.”

Representative Barney Frank (D-Mass) praised “President Carter’s candor” and suggested that “an openly gay President would be able to get more members behind his legislative program.”

[IbJensen]

I though old Prune Face was it.

[Psycho_Bunny]

It’s lame satire.

[surfer]

It is a sad day in America when you have to do some research on satire to really prove it is just satire...LOL

[True Republican Patriot]

We do have Our First Openly GAY President!
Obama is sooooo openly GAY! That one would have to
be Blind, Deaf and Stupid not to observe that!!!

[pnh102]

[bushpilot1]

“I know there are those who say Lincoln may have been gay,” Carter admitted.”

[scrabblehack]

Was there any actual proof that Buchanan was gay? I know he had a girlfriend who died.

[Strk321]

Aw, come on. Does this look like the actions of a gay man?

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Yth-MzI-wxk/SlmACOBVL7I/AAAAAAAARGI/jOPgfVdmsMk/s400/President+Obama+was+looking+at+16-year+old+girl%E2%80%99s+butt.jpg

[rbosque]

Why is it important for there to be a President who sticks his crank where it shouldn’t be? How does that make a good President? That’s just mental!

[Strk321]

Peredasty is common in the Middle East? Word around the street is that gays are put to death over there.

[yefragetuwrabrumuy]

[annieokie]

Very funny, you got me again. How do you do it, how do you come up with this stuff? I love it.

[libertarian27]

“an openly gay President would be able to get more members behind his legislative program.”

Nice double entendre...

[StonyBurk]

I thought th epeanut was too old to run again-besides we got the first President from Kenya and queer to boot.

[Chode]

[jennings2004]

One of the very best! Thanks for a great laugh....tempered by the realization that it is only a smidgen away from reality!

[Spitzensparkin1]

Umm, somebody should clue Carter; we already do have one.

[jennings2004]

Where’s the one he watching the wrestling match on the front yard with MO? It is one of the most indicative poses I have seen.

[cubreporter]

can someone find this jack___ something to do? He pops up like a cartoon character every now and then. Doesn’t he realize how clown like he comes off everyt time he opens his mouth? What’s wrong with this guy anyway? Bitter? Angry, miserable or just plain stupid?

[Free_at_last_-2001]

You know, you stick “Former President Carter says...” to the front of any ridiculous statement and it’s hard to see it’s satire. - very true I was nearly caught this time!