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DUmmie FUnnies 05-27-11 (DUmmie whines: "I hate where our country is right now.")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | May 27, 2011 | DUmmie kentuck, DUmmies, and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 05/27/2011 10:05:23 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson

WAAAAAAAAAHH!!! The Daze of Whine and Poses never end at DUmmieland. Today's contribution? This THREAD by DUmmie kentuck, "I hate where our country is right now."

So let us go to the land where we cannot question their patriotism, i.e., DUmmieland, where the comments are in Read-Whine Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson--who finally found some Flor de Caña rum here in St. Louis, PJ-Comix, and I put some on my vanilla ice cream--is in the [brackets]:

I hate where our country is right now.

[But, but, I thought Obamassiah was going to usher in the Age of Rainbows and Sparkles? Wha' hoppen?]

I used to believe we were a free country.

[I used to BELIEEEEEEEEEEEEVE!!!!!!!!!]

I used to believe that we were better than those countries that would torture other people.

[Don't worry, the torture's over. Oprah has retired.]

I used to believe that we could trust our elected officials and our President to protect our freedoms.

[Blah, blah, blah. . . .]

I used to believe we were a brave country, not a country of cowards.

[I am used to seeing the DUmmies do these "hyper-parallel constructionism" OPs time after time after time. . .]

I used to believe that someone would always come forward and speak the truth . . .

[TO POWER!]

and lead us to the light.

[Hey, what about the Lightworker? I thought he was going to fix everything. Unicorns farting rainbows and sparkles, you know.]

I never expected our country to go insane.

[NOBODY expects our country to go insane! Our chief weapon is surprise. . . .]

I never expected our citizens to defend big banks and corporations. . . .

[OK, now I see you're going to go into a "I never expected" hyper-parallel construction. Wake me when it's over.]

I never thought. . . .

[Ooh, variety!]

I used to believe. . . .

[Now we're back to "I used to believe."]

I used to think we were a compassionate country that would take care of those in need and hungry.

[Yes, it was called family, friends, church, community, private charity. . . .]

I used to think. . . .

[I find that hard to believe.]

I used to believe in our Constitution. . . .

[Then you became a liberal and forgot about that whole "limited government" business.]

Now, sadly, I see a country that I am ashamed to call my own.

[Canada beckons.]

Call me un-American or whatever you wish.

["Un-American" will do.]

I apologize if this might offend you.

[Is that you, Ed Schultz?]

[Now we go to the other DUmmies, responding to kentuck's "I hate where our country is right now." . . .]

Last I checked, it was in the same spot it was a few years ago, but Japan has shifted by a few feet.

[The better to send their radiation into our cows' milk!]

The only citizens I know that defend big banks of corporations are the tea baggers. . . . The great majority of the country would love to see bankers in chains. . . .

[benburch qualifies on both scores--teabagger, and loves to see guys in chains.]

I know a lot of people who consider themselves on the left who defend corporations all the time. Of course, most of them work for corporations.

[I don't believe it! The part about lefties working, I mean.]

Want to see this country's position flipped by 180 degrees?...wait 12 hours.

what's going to happen in 12 hours?

The earth will have rotated....180 degrees!

[Rimshot!]

I didn't have time to read beyond the thread title, but I would like to encourage you to be patient. . . .

[Irony much?]

When you watched the moon landing You saw the apex of American achievement. It's all been downhill from then.

[One small stop for apex. One giant slip for moonbats.]

I feel like I live in a bubble.

[I feel like you live in a basement.]

Ohio is turning into a right-wing nightmare state.

[Cue the Crying DUmmie!]

it's only gonna get worse too. Guaranteed. its the second law of thermodynamics at work: the universe is spiraling into chaos. . . .

[You are a fluke of the universe. You have no right to be here. . . .]

Reagan was the worst President we ever had by a mile. Even worse than Richard Nixon or James Buchanan.

[What about Chimpy McBushitler? . . . How soon they forget. . . .]

I am what I call a "Frank Capra" American. . . .

[You are what I call a "Fulla Crapola" American.]

We the people of these United States are no more...at least not yet.

[Make up your mind.]

Its up to us..not the media not our elected officials.....not the police....only us as a PEOPLE TO DEMAND THAT WE GET RID OF THE COWARDS AND ALL THE CROOKS IN THIS COUNTRY THAT HAS DRIVEN THIS COUNTRY INTO HELLS LAP.

[WE ARE THE ONES WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR!! AAAARRRRGGHHH!!!!]

And "only us as a PEOPLE TO DEMAND THAT" cannot be done by sitting in front of a computer screen day in, day out. . . .

[Oh, why not? I sent a Letter To The Editor last week! DUAC! DUAC!]

if not to plan, organize, and coordinate a movement that would involve some 50 million people in street protests (or more than 50 million, if 50 million won't be enough...)

[More! 500 million! Import them from Europe, Shanghai, Bratislava, Taipei, Guam. . . .]

Such a people's movement would have to completely halt the US economy in its tracks for a couple of weeks. . . .

[Not One D*mn Dime Couple of Weeks!]

That said, who's ready to lead such a MASSIVE Movement?

[How about nadin brzezzzshinski? We've reached the Rubicon and crossed a tipping point!]

I hate where some Democrats are right now...criticizing the brethren. . . .

[They're down in the sistern!]

I expect matters to get worse before I die, alas.

[The world continues to deteriorate. Give up!]

We are in a death struggle with the RW powers that be.

[Here we see the DUmmie Ant engaged in a life-or-death struggle with the Fox. . . .]

The enemy is in the f***ing tent -- Do you get that? The right wing is IN the Democratic tent right now, masquearading as Third Way, Blue Dogs, DLCers. . . .

[And LOUSY FREEPER TROLLS!!!]

Time to get the broom.

[Is that you, Helen Thomas?]

And a heavy duty dose of roach spray.

[Plus a bunch of roach clips.]

Obama has done nothing but continue and expand undemocratic Bush policies.

[IMPEACH OBAMA NOW!]

We are run by a set of vultures and there does not seem to be any way to stop them. . . . Vultures? More like cannibals.

[Most of you like cannabis.]

I am MUCH more concerned about republicans than mere terrorists.

[Beware the Palinstinians!]

Something else about Pat Sajak. He is ultra-sensitive about his height. They have elevated platforms behind the podiums where the contestants stand for Pat to stand on so he will never appear to be too short. You will seldom (never?) see a tall Wheel of Fortune contestant and some are really short. I guarantee Wheel of Fortune has a question on their entrance form like, "How tall are you?" If you are over 5'4" you are eliminated.

[Before the show, they put contestants ON the Wheel and run it in reverse, to make them shorter.]

America is in Pottersville right now. . . .

[Pitt is in Bukowskiville right now.]

I'm pretty tiny - I weigh a little over 100lbs, and I'm 5'4". I don't fear anything. . . .

[Hey, you could get on Wheel of Fortune! . . . The Wheel is not that bad, really. A few crushed vertebrae, that's all.]

stick a fork in us, we are done

[Wishing won't make it happen, ben.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies
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To: Roscoe Karns
He does do a pretty decent Will Pitt impersonation at parties if you can get him drunk enough:


61 posted on 05/28/2011 12:01:11 AM PDT by FredZarguna ("It looks just like a Telefunken U47.....with leather.")
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To: FredZarguna

I’ve hated Keith Olbermann ever since I thought he was Keith Olbermann. (at least he’s not Pat Sajak)


62 posted on 05/28/2011 12:03:56 AM PDT by Roscoe Karns
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To: FredZarguna

Pat Sajak is a conservative.


63 posted on 05/28/2011 12:05:33 AM PDT by eyedigress ((Old storm chaser from the west)?)
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To: eyedigress
Pat Sajak is a conservative.

Fooled you.

He's the Antichrist, and that's like, the least of his accomplishments.

64 posted on 05/28/2011 12:13:57 AM PDT by FredZarguna ("It looks just like a Telefunken U47.....with leather.")
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To: FredZarguna

Getting to play with Vanna for 20 years gives him a pass in my book.


65 posted on 05/28/2011 12:21:31 AM PDT by eyedigress ((Old storm chaser from the west)?)
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To: Charles Henrickson
We are in a death struggle with the RW powers that be.

The DUmmies think we're all powerful! We control the earth and all stars!

66 posted on 05/28/2011 12:23:18 AM PDT by hsalaw
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To: FredZarguna

You do realize we have hijacked this thread and must stop now.


67 posted on 05/28/2011 12:23:33 AM PDT by eyedigress ((Old storm chaser from the west)?)
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To: eyedigress
You do realize we have hijacked this thread and must stop now

The true masters of mental manipulation always make it seem as though these thoughts are original within ourselves. But, just as he came seemingly out of nowhere to hijack a DU thread with his freakish ability to seem taller than he really is, Pat Sajak has hijacked this thread as well...

As you go through your day tomorrow, ways in which you can be helpful to Pat Sajak will occur to you. This is completely normal. Simply jot them down for future reference and continue with your holiday activities.

68 posted on 05/28/2011 12:43:51 AM PDT by FredZarguna ("It looks just like a Telefunken U47.....with leather.")
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To: Charles Henrickson

I hate where our country is right now.

Geez, talk about a standing headline at DU.

That photo of the crying DUmmie = Never gets old!


69 posted on 05/28/2011 1:44:31 AM PDT by Darkwolf377 (You can't go! All the plants are gonna die!)
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alas, i amovercome by noxious fumes.


70 posted on 05/28/2011 4:14:13 AM PDT by Movemout ( all it takes for evil to succeed is for good men to look away and do nothing)
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To: Celtic Cross
I have successfully infiltrated DU. My user-name over there is **** ** ****. Problem is, I have trouble sounding liberal.

Used to do some of that, back in the day, but never on RATS underground. First, COMPLETELY empty your mind. Then, switch over to the dark side - pretty dangerous if done incorrectly. (You must know when to snap out of it right after the session.) Then, if you can't blame everything on global warming or Booosh, you have no business being there.

71 posted on 05/28/2011 5:04:13 AM PDT by Libloather (The epitome of civility.)
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To: mylife

Must be Bush’s fault.....right? :D


72 posted on 05/28/2011 5:57:32 AM PDT by luvie (RUN SARAH...RUN!)
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To: FredZarguna; eyedigress; mylife; Roscoe Karns; Charles Henrickson
You're all wrong, you know....Pat Sajak is really Charles Henrickson!! :)

Or is Charles Henrickson really......

Will we ever know for sure???

73 posted on 05/28/2011 6:07:37 AM PDT by luvie (RUN SARAH...RUN!)
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To: LUV W; FredZarguna; eyedigress; mylife; Roscoe Karns; PJ-Comix; franksolich; Ballygrl; mikrofon
You're all wrong, you know....Pat Sajak is really Charles Henrickson!! :) Or is Charles Henrickson really...... Will we ever know for sure???

Charles Henrickson and "Pat Sajak" both were born and raised in the city of Chicago, true. Both men have been rumored to control the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy, true. Both have never been seen in the same room before, true. And both men have been known to hang out with Vanna White, true.

However, Charles Henrickson is 6'3". "Pat Sajak" is 5'4", with lifts.

How do I do it, you ask? Heh, heh, heh. . . .

74 posted on 05/28/2011 7:08:12 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (WHEEL . . . OF . . . TORTURE !)
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To: Charles Henrickson
I hate where our country is right now.

You couldn't find your country on a map of America.

75 posted on 05/28/2011 7:10:30 AM PDT by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Liberals would have no standards at all -- Texas Eagle)
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To: Charles Henrickson
I never expected our citizens to defend big banks and corporations. . . .

Let alone your President. Would you like some help removing that wool over your eyes?

76 posted on 05/28/2011 7:12:50 AM PDT by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Liberals would have no standards at all -- Texas Eagle)
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To: LUV W; FredZarguna; eyedigress; mylife; Roscoe Karns; PJ-Comix; franksolich; Ballygrl; mikrofon
You're all wrong, you know....Pat Sajak is really Charles Henrickson!! :) Or is Charles Henrickson really...... Will we ever know for sure???

Switching back to my secret identity:

Notice, mikrofon was there.

77 posted on 05/28/2011 7:22:42 AM PDT by Charles Henrickson (WHEEL . . . OF . . . TORTURE !)
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To: Celtic Cross
"I'm on my second or third DU user-name already."

Piker, I've been banned so many times there I've ran out of free email accounts to sign up with. I have one old account that's over 1K so I can pretty much get away with using some logic without being called for it though. I also make sure I am suing a different IP address after I get tombstoned, that's a dead giveaway and it appears they monitor them.

78 posted on 05/28/2011 7:37:11 AM PDT by Abathar (Proudly posting without reading the article carefully since 2004)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Ohio is turning into a right-wing nightmare state.

You'll always have Paris.

And Illinois.

79 posted on 05/28/2011 7:41:02 AM PDT by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Liberals would have no standards at all -- Texas Eagle)
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To: Charles Henrickson
We are run by a set of vultures and there does not seem to be any way to stop them. . . . Vultures? More like cannibals.

Uhhhhhhh....Smeagol? Gollum?....you doin' okay, there?

80 posted on 05/28/2011 7:46:57 AM PDT by Texas Eagle (If it wasn't for double-standards, Liberals would have no standards at all -- Texas Eagle)
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