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Woman Comes Forward To Detail Atrocities In Herman Cainís Apartment (Satire Attempt)
The Right Elective Decisions ^ | 11/03/2011 | Chris Davis

Posted on 11/03/2011 6:17:34 PM PDT by writer33

Washington,D.C. – With all of the accusations flying about what Herman Cain knew and when he knew it, one woman has dared to come forward and detail the atrocities of one horrific night in 1991. Previously, the woman was scared to come forward, but since Cain’s long train of abuses have been well-documented by the Politico, it only made sense to tell the public just what they can expect from a Cain presidency.

The woman, Sharon Itall, is now an influential insurance agent, but was once just the shell of a scarred woman after one night with Herman Cain. And since the allegations have surfaced, Sharon is willing to chronicle the events of that steamy, August night in Washington, D.C. In her opinion, there is simply no choice in the matter now.

Sharon says that the “denigrating events” all began at an office party. “It began by floating a keg that Mr. Cain had purchased for our office party,” stated Sharon. “Needless to say we were drunk, but I had no idea that the evening would spiral into a night of hell.”

TRED (The Right Elective Decisions) has not confirmed any of this story but feels compelled to keep you riveted to your computer screen. And this is the rest of her fateful story:

TRED: What exactly happened on that fateful night?

Sharon: Humiliation beyond belief. That’s what happened. (She begins to break down.)...


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Politics; Society
KEYWORDS: atrocities; blackwalnuts; chrisdavis; herbcain; hermancain; writer33
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To: writer33

THIS IS TOTALLY INAPPROPRIATE.

Take this thread off.

I don’t see anything at all funny about it.

Some folks don’t understand Satire. It’s how vicious rumors start “I saw it on Free Republic”.

SICKO


51 posted on 11/03/2011 7:09:06 PM PDT by not2worry
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To: Boogieman

One of them, yes


52 posted on 11/03/2011 7:13:21 PM PDT by justsaynomore (Pray for Herman Cain)
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To: writer33

Sharon Itall?
Isn’t she the roommate of Gyven Itfurfrie?


53 posted on 11/03/2011 7:17:21 PM PDT by oldbill
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To: writer33
Photobucket

Hermie the Jokenator

54 posted on 11/03/2011 7:17:28 PM PDT by smoothsailing (FUMR-FUBO- the left is a seething mass neurosis)
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To: writer33

I can’t believe what I just read! The description of what that Cain did to that poor woman made my blood boil. To think that he even has a chance now after what we know. To think that he might be doing this stuff to his sweat wife Gloria. OMG! I can’t bear to imagine what he could be doing; making her cook dinner and washing his socks and all that! Good night!

I’m going to have to jump into the hot tub and cleanse myself. Maybe even have my wife join me and scrub my back!


55 posted on 11/03/2011 7:35:56 PM PDT by jonrick46 (2012 can't come soon enough.)
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To: not2worry

Fair enough.


56 posted on 11/03/2011 7:55:43 PM PDT by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: oldbill

LOL! Good one, oldbill. You caught it first.


57 posted on 11/03/2011 7:57:59 PM PDT by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: smoothsailing

Perfect graphic. Thanks, ss.


58 posted on 11/03/2011 7:58:41 PM PDT by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: jonrick46
Maybe even have my wife join me and scrub my back!

That's allowed as long as your wife doesn't work for you. LOL!

Thanks for reading, jonrick. Glad you enjoyed it.

59 posted on 11/03/2011 7:59:57 PM PDT by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: jonrick46
Maybe even have my wife join me and scrub my back!

That's allowed as long as your wife doesn't work for you. LOL!

Thanks for reading, jonrick. Glad you enjoyed it.

60 posted on 11/03/2011 8:00:12 PM PDT by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: Lib-Lickers 2
Did you bump your head before you wrote that?

I guess you missed that big word at the end of the title called "Satire"...

61 posted on 11/03/2011 8:54:38 PM PDT by Clint N. Suhks (You cannot help the poor by destroying the rich: Abraham Lincoln)
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To: writer33
Stop it you’ll make me cry.

Oh dear.

:consults employee handbook:

:Pats shoulder comfortingly:

There there.

There there

:consults handbook again:

There there

Would you....

:Pause. Turns page:

Like to talk about it?

62 posted on 11/03/2011 9:13:28 PM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear (*Philosophy lesson 117-22b: Anyone who demands to be respected is undeserving of it.*)
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear
Pats shoulder comfortingly

BATTERY!

Time to replace that employee handbook.

63 posted on 11/03/2011 10:37:47 PM PDT by TChad
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear

LOL! Good stuff, HTB.


64 posted on 11/04/2011 6:27:18 AM PDT by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: writer33

bttt


65 posted on 11/04/2011 6:49:42 AM PDT by Matchett-PI (Obamageddon, Barackalypse Now! Bam is "Debt Man Walking" in 2012 - Rush Limbaugh)
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To: Matchett-PI

Thanks for the bump, M.


66 posted on 11/04/2011 7:35:03 AM PDT by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: writer33

Glad to! bttt :)


67 posted on 11/04/2011 7:43:07 AM PDT by Matchett-PI (Obamageddon, Barackalypse Now! Bam is "Debt Man Walking" in 2012 - Rush Limbaugh)
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To: writer33

One has to go to the article and read the whole thing to get the true flavor. I thought it was pretty funny.

(BTW, White font on black background sux.)


68 posted on 11/04/2011 7:46:15 AM PDT by Cyber Liberty (Cain = National Sales Tax; Perry = Amnesty for Illegals; Romney = Obamacare forever. Who's left?)
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To: Cyber Liberty

Thank you, CL. I appreciate it. I can see I’m still going to have to experiment with the color schemes. I haven’t settled on one I even like yet. But this opinion is greatly appreciated.


69 posted on 11/04/2011 7:51:10 AM PDT by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: writer33
You're welcome! Much better now. The white-on-black was hard to read, and I associate that scheme with porn sites...not that I would ever know about that....lol
70 posted on 11/04/2011 8:33:12 AM PDT by Cyber Liberty (Cain = National Sales Tax; Perry = Amnesty for Illegals; Romney = Obamacare forever. Who's left?)
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To: Cyber Liberty

There’s an angle I never thought of, and now I’m glad I changed it. But you’re right...it is easier to read.


71 posted on 11/04/2011 9:03:54 AM PDT by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: TheVitaminPress; SandRat

I forgot to ping you two ping! Let me know if you like, hate it or are indifferent.


72 posted on 11/04/2011 6:43:30 PM PDT by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: Red Badger; patton; Dem Guard; TASMANIANRED; skinkinthegrass; Liberty Valance; B4Ranch

Thought you might like this one time ping only!


73 posted on 11/04/2011 6:46:40 PM PDT by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: Judith Anne; NonValueAdded

One time thought you’d enjoy this ping!


74 posted on 11/04/2011 6:48:52 PM PDT by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: raybbr

Thought you might enjoy this or at least let me know whether you like it or not. And the comments are fun to read as well, ping!


75 posted on 11/04/2011 6:56:30 PM PDT by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: LUV W; nutmeg

Thought you might enjoy this ping!


76 posted on 11/04/2011 7:43:41 PM PDT by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: writer33

Well, it’s VERY good to see you, Ma’am! Thanks for the ping! :)


77 posted on 11/04/2011 7:47:24 PM PDT by LUV W (This tagline reserved for a hero.......)
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To: LUV W

You’re welcome, sir.


78 posted on 11/04/2011 7:48:48 PM PDT by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: stephenjohnbanker; camp_steveo; 50cal Smokepole; PROCON; penelopesire; dfwgator

One time thought you might enjoy this ping!


79 posted on 11/04/2011 8:03:49 PM PDT by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: writer33; TheOldLady

” The woman, Sharon Itall, is now an influential insurance agent “

I’ll bet she was the very devil with a blue dress on !!

: )

Good to hear from you Chris. Hope all is well with you.


80 posted on 11/06/2011 3:04:31 AM PST by stephenjohnbanker (God, family, country, mom, apple pie, the girl next door and a Ford F250 to pull my boat.)
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To: TChad; Harmless Teddy Bear
Pats shoulder comfortingly

BATTERY!


UNWANTED SEXUAL TOUCHING!!!
81 posted on 11/06/2011 9:26:00 AM PST by TheOldLady (FReepmail me to get ON or OFF the ZOT LIGHTNING ping list)
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To: stephenjohnbanker; writer33
Thanks for the ping, Mr. Banker. That's a perfect parody of the silly hysteria over Mr. Cain's Southern-gentleman style.

Writer33 has this exactly right. When they hyperventilate, laugh at them. Maybe they'll go apoplectic and pop a blood vessel. </bloodthirsty old bat>
82 posted on 11/06/2011 9:36:53 AM PST by TheOldLady (FReepmail me to get ON or OFF the ZOT LIGHTNING ping list)
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To: TheOldLady; TChad
Not my fault. TChad is the one with the battery.

I think he is throwing it at people but I can't be sure.

83 posted on 11/06/2011 9:44:10 AM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear (*Philosophy lesson 117-22b: Anyone who demands to be respected is undeserving of it.*)
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear; TChad

Excellent! More innuendo and made-up dirt. This is going to sell papers... Uh...


84 posted on 11/06/2011 10:11:25 AM PST by TheOldLady (FReepmail me to get ON or OFF the ZOT LIGHTNING ping list)
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To: stephenjohnbanker

All is well, stephenjohn. Thank you for asking, sir.


85 posted on 11/06/2011 2:17:02 PM PST by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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To: TigersEye

A sample ping!


86 posted on 11/11/2011 5:51:24 PM PST by writer33 (Mark Levin Is The Constitutional Engine Of Conservatism)
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