Posted on 12/06/2012 1:45:14 PM PST by Reaganite Republican
Q: How does a blonde practice safe sex?
A: By locking the car door.
A guy comes up to a blonde in a bar and tells her that if he can feel her (ample) bosom, he’ll be able to tell her what day she was born.
She agrees and about a few minutes of fondling, she finally asks “Well, what day was I born, smarty?”
The guy thinks a minute, takes one more squeeze and answers:
“Yesterday!”
Well, I am half Pole...
And MAN do I love long legs... just like that lol
After a bit he asks if anyone wants to hear a blonde joke. What he doesn't realize he's wandered into a all girl biker bar.
The bartender tells him...she's a blonde and is 5'11" and has a baseball bat behind the counter. She then tells him the women to the left and right of him are blonde and both body builders. And that the woman behind him...is a blonde also..and is the bouncer in the bar.
The blind guy just sits there.....Then the blonde bartender asks him loudly if he still wants to tell that blonde joke!! The blind guy says...."Not if I have to explain it four flipping times!!"
A red head, a brunette and a blonde are on a deserted island. They find a lamp, rub it and out comes a genie. “I will grant each one of you one wish.”
So the red head says, “I want to go back home, see my boyfriend and have great sex.” POOF!!! and off she goes.
The brunette says, “I want to go back home and be with my family.” POOF!! and off she goes.
The blonde looks around, lost in thought. The genie asks her whats wrong. The blonde says, “I wish my two friends were here.”
lol
A redhead goes to the hospital to give birth. She has twins, a boy and a girl. Afterward, she sleeps the entire day. When she wakes up, her blonde sister tells he she already named the babies for her. The redhead is worried, as her blonde sister is not particularly good at such things. The blonde tells her she named the girl Denise. The redhead is relieved, and asks for the boy’s name. The blonde tells her, Denephew.
But good joke.
A girl tells her blonde friend she just drove home to NJ all the way from Florida. Her blonde friend as amazed; “How did you do that in just 2 days? Florida’s further away than the moon!”
Her friend asks, “Why would you think that?”, to which the blonde responds, “Well, you can’t see Florida from New Jersey...”
That right there’s funny.
Drat - left out "Huey."
Thanks!
"Show me your license," she says.
"What's that?"
"It's the little rectangular thing in the bottom of your purse with your picture."
Blonde motorist fishes around for a few moments, digs out a makeup mirror, looks in it and says: "Is this it?"
Blonde policewoman takes the mirror, looks into it and says "Oh. You can go. I didn't realize you were a cop."
The Blonde nods, obviously confused, tips her index finger to the bottom of her chin and says, "But how do you give ... 'Shoulders'?"
What do call a smart Blond?
A Golden Retriever.
A blonde female Highway Patrol officer pulls over a pretty blonde motorist. She asks to see her drivers license.
The blonde says “What’s a drivers license look like?” as she rummages through her purse.
The officer says “I’t about the size of a credut card and has your picture on it”.
She pulls out her compact mirror looks at it and says, “Here it is”, and hands it to the officer.
The blonde lady cop looks at it for a minute then hands it back. “Well, why didn’t you just tell me you’re a cop? You can go.”
OMG!!! This can go on forever... I haven’t laughed so hard in a long while. Thanks!
LOL!
blonde joke ping
Q: How does a blonde turn off the lights after having sex?
A: By closing the car door.
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