Posted on 10/03/2015 2:27:03 PM PDT by PROCON
There exists in this world a condiment below all others. It has all of the flavor of sawdust and the sublime texture of soap scum. Until recently, I was unaware that The Federalist, lovers of freedom, etc., was complicit in its spread. I rise today to defend America—nay, the world—against such scurrilous anti-food propaganda.
As all Americans, especially Texans, know, mayonnaise is a tool of oppression used by communists and bland-food lovers everywhere. It is a form of mind control designed to cow you into a sense of complacency about life. Food has flavor, and mayo covers that flavor up. It destroys your ability to taste.
What do you do to a food if it is too intense, and you’re not Texan? You add mayonnaise. In much the same way that salt is used to flavor food, mayonnaise is used to bland it. It is flavor’s anti-particle: it annihilates on contact.
Hello, People: The French Invented Mayonnaise
(Excerpt) Read more at thefederalist.com ...
No way!!
We had no picky, picky, picky eaters in those days like you see today....and on this thread. That's 'cause these poor souls didn't grow up with good cooks in the family, cooks that made things from scratch, with lot of real butter, real cream, real everything.
We weren't laden with today's sensitivities and fears about what was in everything we ate, we just scarfed it all down...and after the meat and potatoes we were given a big helping of a calorie-laden homemade dessert rife with creme and custard and gooey frosting from my immigrant grandpa's German bakery.
And our grandmas and moms made delicious gravy, also...a lost art today. That's because modern animals and fowl are raised to be oh-so lean and fat-less to satisfy the food-nuts....and the wonderful flavor of gravy is, of course, to be found in the fatty drippings and scrapes.
C'monna my house for dinner and you'll swoon from happiness and contentment as you wipe the mayo and delicious gravy from your satisfied lips and then treat yourself to a couple slices of decadent coconut cream pie with a big mug of hot black, strong, caffeinated coffee...um, um, GOOD!
Bon appetit!
Leni
Yeah. I like cheese. 7 year Canadian cheddar. The sharper the better.
I’m one of 10 children. We were poor and couldn’t afford much heat. We slept 4 or 5 to a bed. When we got cold Mom just threw on another brother.
Mayo is an essential life element!
200. Just last night I coated a chicken breast with Hellmann’s, Italian bread crumbs, and Parmesan. Very good out of the oven.
Yech! Hellman’s smells and tastes like old socks!
Well, 205...
No, mayonnaise is not a condiment. It’s a food group.
Now THAT is one of the funniest things that I've heard in quite awhile. Startled my cats and woke up my wife who was dozing in the recliner.
"When we got cold Mom just threw on another brother" ... I can relate to that, coming from a family of five boys ...
I’m one of 7. Five girls and two boys. My father, God bless him, grew up in a family of 2 children, just himself and his brother. Poor man. :)
I just can’t do really sweet stuff.
I love chocolate, but not milk...it’s gotta be dark.
Don't you see the problem, it's the DEVIL's brand!
But as a good conservative, I will respect whatever godless crap you want to stick down your gullet. :-)
It’s everything. :)
Cold roast beef, pepper, some salt, Mayo, and French’s mustard!! It oozes out the sides, and fills that special hole in my needs. :-)
Mayo is a bit of heaven - for coating chicken breasts before baking to the moistest chocolate cake ever. So many uses, so little time.
Eat a teaspoon full of my wife’s habanero sauce and you’ll be begging for a truck load of mayo to counteract it.
:-)
Funniest FR line of the day...nay, the month....maybe the YEAR!
I'm still chortling!
Leni
I’ve got a pound of French sea salt butter in the fridge. A flight attendant friend keeps us in that and French goat cheese.
That and a bottle of wine is about all one needs.
L
There used to be a north east grocery store chain called Grand Union. They had a store brand powdered iced tea that was incredibly good. Albertsons had one that tasted similar. Might have been the same supplier. I used to mix a can of it with a can of lemon aid on occasion too.
I guess it’s an acquired taste thing. Generally I’m not YUUUUGE on sweets (pretty average I guess) but Tea is an exception.
On the other hand, non sweetened iced tea with lemon works too.
Next time I’ll replace it with Best Foods. Same company, different label. Supposedly it’s Hellmann’s in the east and Best Foods in the west, but here in northern Colorado I can get either one. So as a Georgia boy I like Hellmann’s.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.