The Thought Purifier 1984 (TP1984) by MicroThought
Posted on 04/12/2016 5:22:29 PM PDT by The Looking Spoon
The Thought Purifier 1984 (TP1984) by MicroThought
The applied sciences division of MicroThought have unveiled what is being hailed as a huge leap forward for political correctness.
The cutting edge technology is a pair of noise canceling ear pieces called "thought purifiers" that are specially customized to be programmed to filter out words and phrases the individual wearer would find to be "triggering" and "offensive."
"We are very excited about this offering at MicroThought," said a spokesperson for the company. "We believe this technology will have the same revolutionary effect on health and well-being in the 21st century that vaccines had on the 20th century. We believe the wide adoption of the thought purifiers could help eradicate microaggressions and triggers in our lifetime. They work so well we've had our most sensitive test subjects believing that they had become completely hearing impaired."
While showing great promise the technology, however, has it's drawbacks. The first generation of purifiers are not fully programmed to account for white privilege. So while they can sense and cancel out words white users would find offensive MicroThought has yet to solve the challenge of filtering out words they should find offensive.
"We never intended the purifiers to be a panacea type of solution, at least not immediately" said the MicroThought spokesperson. "We will continue to rely on schools and pop culture, except for gangsta rap music, to continue to supplement our efforts."
Update: Following the publication of this report MicroThought terminated their spokesperson for suggesting that gansta rap music can be offensive, citing numerous tests of the TP1984 showed that the filters allowed through on average 87%-93% of the lyrics of any given track.
The nerve of these guys!
LSD...
Heavy doses of Thorazine.
NO pics of female costars? Where are your manners?!? Are you trying to micro-agress the female of our species?
:)
The Kennedys gave Rosemary Kennedy this treatment. It involves swishing a rod around inside your skull.
I shout “hey goof, what’s that on yer head?”
Goof hears: “you are looking mighty fine, my friend.”
I say “bite me.”
Goof says “sorry I am vegetarian.”
IT WORKS !!!
Problem solved. . .
Oh, a temporary solution; I assumed it was something more permanent, like 130 gr, 3000 fps.
The 2016 version of the “Thought Purifier” is called Facebook.
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