Amy's Place .. Poetry and Potpourri .. Dec. 24-25, 2003

12-24-03 | JustAmy, St.Louie1 and Mama_Bear

[JustAmy]

Welcome To....


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[JustAmy]

Poetry and Potpourri made its debut on September 22, 2003

Click on our Club Car for prior threads.

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[JustAmy]

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE Christmas
- Dieter's Version

Twas the night before Christmas and all round my hips
were Fannie May candies that sneaked past my lips.
Fudge brownies were stored in the freezer with care
In hopes that my thighs would forget they were there.

While Mama in her my girdle and I in chin straps
Had just settled down to sugar-borne naps.
When out in the pantry there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash
Tore open the icebox then threw up the sash.
The marshmallow look of the new-fallen snow
Sent thoughts of a binge to my body below.

When what to my wandering eyes should appear:
A marzipan Santa with eight chocolate reindeer!
That huge chunk of candy so luscious and slick
I knew in a second that I'd wind up sick.

The sweet-coated santa, those sugared reindeer
I closed my eyes tightly but still I could hear;
On Pritzker, on Stillman, on weak one, on TOPS
A Weight Watcher dropout from sugar detox.

>From the top of the scales to the top of the hall
Now dash away pounds now dash away all.
Dressed up in Lane Bryant from my head to nightdress
My clothes were all bulging from too much excess.

My droll little mouth and my round little belly
They shook when I laughed like a bowl full of jelly.
I spoke not a word but went straight to my work
Ate all of the candy then turned with a jerk.

And laying a finger beside my heartburn
I gave a quick nod toward the bedroom I turned.
I eased into bed, to the heavens I cry
If temptation's removed I'll get thin by and by.

And I mumbled again as I turned for the night
In the morning I'll starve... 'til I take that first bite!

[JustAmy]

[JustAmy]

A blonde buys a ticket and wins the lottery. She goes to lottery headquarters to claim it and the man verifies her ticket number. The blonde says, "I want my $20 million."

The man replied, "No, sorry lady. It doesn't work that way. We give you a million today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 years."

The blonde said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it."

Again, the man explains that she would only get a million that day and the rest during the next 19 years. The blonde, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my $20 million right now, then I want my dollar back!"

[JustAmy]

There's a charming story about a successful CEO who was traveling with his wife along an interstate highway when he noticed the car was low on gas. He got off the highway at the next exit and soon found a rundown, one-pump gas station. The CEO asked the attendant to fill the tank and check the oil, then went for a little walk to stretch his legs.

As he returned to the car, the husband noticed that the attendant and his wife were engaged in an animated conversation. The conversation stopped as the CEO paid the attendant. But as he was getting back into the car, he noticed the attendant wave and heard him say, "It was great talking to you again."

When they drove off, the CEO asked his wife if she knew that man. She said, "Yes, in fact we went to high school together and dated steadily for about a year."

"Boy, were you lucky that I came along," bragged the husband. "If you had married him, you'd be the wife of a gas station attendant instead of the wife of a successful chief executive officer."

"Oh honey," replied the wife, "if I had married him, he'd be the chief executive officer and you'd be the gas station attendant."

[b9]

Oh wow...this is perfect LOL

Any idea who wrote it?

Have a beautiful Christmas, Amy & Jim.
I count Free Republic as one of my favorite blessings.

[JustAmy]

THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS
(Texas Style)

'Twas the night before Christmas
In Texas, you know,
Way out on the prairie,
Without any snow.
Asleep in their cabin
Were Buddy and Sue,
A'dreamin' of Christmas,
Like me and you.
Not stockings, but boots
At the foot of their bed,
For this was in Texas,
What more need be said.

When all of a sudden
From out the still night,
There came such a ruckus
It gave me a fright.

And I saw 'cross the prairie
Like a shot from a gun,
A loaded up buckboard
Come out at a run.

The driver was geein'
And hawin' with will,
And horses, not reindeer,
He drove with such skill.

C'mon, Buck and Poncho,
And Prince to the right,
There'll be plenty travelin'
For y'all tonight.

The driver, in Levis
And a shirt that was red,
Had a 10-gallon Stetson
On top of his head.

As he stepped from his buckboard
He was really a sight,
A beard and a moustache
So curly and white.

As he burst in the cabin,
The children awoke,
And were both so astonished
That neither one spoke.
He filled up their boots
With such presents galore
That neither could think
Of a single thing more.

When Buddy recovered
The use of his jaws,
He asked in a whisper,
'Are you Santa Claus?'

'Am I the real Santa?
Well, what do you think?'
And he smiled as he gave
A mysterious wink.

Then he leapt in the buckboard
And said in his drawl,
'To the children of Texas,
Merry Christmas, y'all!'

[JustAmy]

I'm sorry, I don't know who wrote the dieter's version. I found it on Google; if the author was listed, I didn't see it. The same for the above Texas version of Twas the Night Before Christmas.

I found these poems a few days ago and saved them. I doubt that I could find the web pages again.

[JustAmy]

A CHILD'S VIEW

Snowflakes softly falling
Upon your window play,
Your blankets snug around you,
into sleep you drift away.

I bend to gently kiss you,
when I see that on the floor
There's a letter, neatly written,
I wonder who it's for.

I quietly unfold it
making sure you're still asleep,
It's a Christmas list for Santa--
one my heart will always keep.

It started just as always
with the toys seen on TV,
A new watch for your father
and a winter coat for me.

But as my eyes read on
I could see that deep inside
There were many things you wished for
that your loving heart would hide.

You asked if your friend Molly
could have another dad;
It seems her father hits her
and it makes you very sad.

Then you asked dear Santa
if the neighbors down the street
Could find a job, that he might have
some food, and clothes, and heat.

You saw a family on the news
whose house had blown away;
"Dear Santa, send them just one thing
a place where they can stay."

"And Santa, those four cookies
that I left you for a treat,
Could you take them to the children
who have nothing else to eat?"

"Do you know that little bear I have--
the one I love so dear?
I'm leaving it for you to take
to Africa this year."

"And as you fly your reindeer
on this night of Jesus' birth,
Could your magic bring to everyone
goodwill and peace on earth?"

"There's one last thing before you go--
so grateful I would be--
If you'd smile at Baby Jesus
in the manger by our tree."

I pulled the letter close to me;
I felt it melt my heart.
Those tiny hands had written
what no other could impart.

"And a little child shall lead them,"
was whispered in my ear
As I watched you sleep on Christmas Eve
while Santa Claus was here.

Author Unknown

[MeekOneGOP]

Mornin', everybody ! Merry Christmas Eve !

Have a cup while you Freep !

[MeekOneGOP]

lookin' for robert blake.....

[Samwise]

Great spoof!

[Caipirabob]

"Oh honey," replied the wife, "if I had married him, he'd be the chief executive officer and you'd be the gas station attendant."

LOL! There's a "John F. Kerry" joke in there somewhere, I just know it...

[OESY]

'Twas The Night Before Christmas - Verbose Version

'Twas the nocturnal segment of the diurnal period preceding the
annual Yuletide celebration, and throughout our place of residence,
kinetic activity was not in evidence among the possessors of this
potential, including that species of domestic rodent known as Mus
musculus.

Hosiery was meticulously suspended from the forward edge of
the wood burning caloric apparatus, pursuant to our anticipatory
pleasure regarding an imminent visitation from an eccentric
philanthropist among whose folkloric appellations is the honorific
title of St. Nicholas.

The prepubescent siblings, comfortably ensconced in their
respective accommodations of repose, were experiencing subconscious
visual hallucinations of variegated fruit confections moving
rhythmically through their cerebrums.

My conjugal partner and I, attired in our nocturnal head
coverings, were about to take slumberous advantage of the hibernal
darkness when upon the avenaceous exterior portion of the grounds
there ascended such a cacophony of dissonance that I felt compelled
to arise with alacrity from my place of repose for the purpose of
ascertaining the precise source thereof.

Hastening to the casement, I forthwith opened the barriers
sealing this fenestration, noting thereupon that the lunar brilliance
without, reflected as it was on the surface of a recent crystalline
precipitation, might be said to rival that of the solar meridian
itself - thus permitting my incredulous optical sensory organs to
behold a miniature airborne runnered conveyance drawn by eight
diminutive specimens of the genus Rangifer, piloted by a minuscule,
aged chauffeur so ebullient and nimble that it became instantly
apparent to me that he was indeed our anticipated caller.

With his ungulate motive power travelling at what may possibly
have been more vertiginous velocity than patriotic alar predators, he
vociferated loudly, expelled breath musically through contracted
labia, and addressed each of the octet by his or her respective
cognomen - "Now Dasher, now Dancer..." et al. - guiding them to the
uppermost exterior level of our abode, through which structure I
could readily distinguish the concatenations of each of the 32 cloven
pedal extremities.

As I retracted my cranium from its erstwhile location, and was
performing a 180-degree pivot, our distinguished visitant
achieved - with utmost celerity and via a downward leap - entry
by way of the smoke passage.

He was clad entirely in animal pelts soiled by the ebony residue
from oxidations of carboniferous fuels which had accumulated
on the walls thereof.

His resemblance to a street vendor I attributed largely to the
plethora of assorted playthings which he bore dorsally in a
commodious cloth receptacle.

His orbs were scintillant with reflected luminosity, while his
submaxillary dermal indentations gave every evidence of engaging
amiability.

The capillaries of his malar regions and nasal appurtenance were
engorged with blood which suffused the subcutaneous layers, the
former approximating the coloration of Albion's floral emblem, the latter
that of the Prunus avium, or sweet cherry.

His amusing sub- and supralabials resembled nothing so much as a
common loop knot, and their ambient hirsute facial adornment
appeared like small, tabular and columnar crystals of frozen water.

Clenched firmly between his incisors was a smoking piece whose grey
fumes, forming a tenuous ellipse about his occiput, were suggestive
of a decorative seasonal circlet of holly.

His visage was wider than it was high, and when he waxed audibly
mirthful, his corpulent abdominal region undulated in the manner
of impectinated fruit syrup in a hemispherical container.

He was, in short, neither more nor less than an obese, jocund,
multigenarian gnome, the optical perception of whom rendered me
visibly frolicsome despite every effort to refrain from so being.

By rapidly lowering and then elevating one eyelid and rotating his
head slightly to one side, he indicated that trepidation on my part
was groundless.

Without utterance and with dispatch, he commenced filling the
aforementioned appended hosiery with various of the aforementioned
articles of merchandise extracted from his aforementioned
previously dorsally transported cloth receptacle.

Upon completion of this task, he executed an abrupt about- face,
placed a single manual digit in lateral juxtaposition to his olfactory
organ, inclined his cranium forward in a gesture of leave-taking, and
forthwith effected his egress by renegotiating (in reverse) the smoke
passage.

He then propelled himself in a short vector onto his conveyance,
directed a musical expulsion of air through his contracted oral
sphincter to the antlered quadrupeds of burden, and proceeded to
soar aloft in a movement hitherto observable chiefly among the
seed-bearing portions of a common weed. But I overheard his parting
exclamation, audible immediately prior to his vehiculation beyond the
limits of visibility:

"Ecstatic Yuletide to the planetary constituency, and to that self
same assemblage, my sincerest wishes for a salubriously beneficial
and gratifyingly pleasurable period between sunset and dawn."

[TexasCowboy]

Willie and I thank you for that Texas Merry Christmas!

Willie wanted me to ask you if there were any good lookin' heifers in that herd of whiteface steers!
Have............uh, whatever, and will travel...

[The Mayor]

I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life. —John 8:12

Without the light of Jesus, we would be in the dark about God.

[The Mayor]

December 24, 2003

A Light In The Darkness

Read: Luke 2:25-33

I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life. —John 8:12

Bible In One Year: 1 John 3-5

---

An artist was painting a winter scene. Snow blanketed the ground and the pine trees. Night was falling, and the landscape was enveloped in semi-darkness. A log cabin was barely visible in the shadows. The whole scene was one of gloom.

Then the artist used some yellow tints to put the cheerful glow of a lamp in one of the cabin windows. That lone light, its golden rays reflecting on the snow, completely transformed the impression given by the painting. In contrast to the cold darkness of the surrounding forest, that light in the window created a warm feeling of love and security.

What happened on that canvas is a striking portrayal of one of the most dramatic events of all history. When Jesus was born in Bethlehem's stable, a light was placed in this sin-darkened world. The apostle John testified, "In Him was life, and the life was the light of men" (John 1:4).

During this week, as we commemorate the birth of the Lord Jesus, let's be mindful of how much brighter this world is because He came into it. Jesus declared, "I am the light of the world. He who follows Me shall not walk in darkness, but have the light of life" (John 8:12).

How has Jesus brightened your life? —Richard De Haan

The whole world was lost in the darkness of sin,
The Light of the world is Jesus;
Like sunshine at noonday His glory shone in,
The Light of the world is Jesus. —Bliss

Without the light of Jesus, we would be in the dark about God.

[Billie]

To all my Poetry and Potpourri FRiends,

May you have a most wonderful Christmas this year and the
best of next year! Amy's Place is filled with beautiful words
and pictures - and more than that, it's also fun, friendly,
and inviting to so many FReepers who never even knew
about a Poetry Place on FR before.

You have made such a welcome place for all, Amy!

Thank you for this darling sig, Wolfie. :*

[Billie]

Well, phooey - my previous post was meant for all.

Merry Christmas (Eve)!

[Darksheare]

LOL!
I've done that often enough!
Merry Christmas, may the mistake demons bother a different thread.