Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Why I Had to Stay Up Half the Night Watching 'G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra'
Newsweek ^ | 08/07/09 | Ramin Setoodeh

Posted on 08/07/2009 1:07:48 PM PDT by OldDeckHand

Paramount was so worried the critics would hate G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra—and with good reason, it's awful—that they decided not to screen it for anybody. Just one problem: the first showing was at 12:01 a.m. on Friday, which means I have all night to tell you how bad it is. Bad. Bad. Bad. It's excruciatingly bad. Gigli bad. How bad are we talking? I chronicled my night:

11:40 p.m.: I arrive to the theater, a little sleepy and slightly giddy that the movie could be so bad that it's good. I ask the older couple on the escalator behind if they're here to see G.I. Joe. No! It's got to be bad, they say, because it wasn't even screened for the critics. They're here to see Meryl Streep as Julia Child.

12:01 a.m.: Showtime. Except not really. I was expecting crowds and G.I. toys and maybe even a few people chanting "All-American Hero" (yes, I was a G.I. Joe groupie back in the day). But the theater is half empty and a woman down the aisle from me is picking her nose.

12:09 a.m.: Trailers. First bad omen: the movies previewed before G.I. Joe include a very bad John Travolta movie and a very bad M. Night Shyamalan movie. Although, in retrospect, neither of them could possibly be as bad as G.I. Joe.

(Excerpt) Read more at blog.newsweek.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Military/Veterans; Music/Entertainment; TV/Movies
KEYWORDS: badmovies; dreadful; gijoe; hollywood; horrible; moviereview; movies; worthless
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-56 last
To: JSDude1

My post made it sound like my father fought in WWII, Korea and Vietname, not he did not, and wasn’t in a war, however he is former Army, and served in the 70’s-80’s!


41 posted on 08/07/2009 2:35:18 PM PDT by JSDude1 (I'm a "Tea Partier" and proud of it..now can I have my check from Mr. State Farm man??)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 40 | View Replies]

To: Mr. Blonde
"Terminator: Salvation "

Really, it's better than TS? I didn't see Transformers 2 (and don't plan to), but I did see TS and didn't think it was horrible. It wasn't great or even good, but was just average.

I don't think I'll see it because of the director's comments - plus the fact that my wife would me me reciprocate with a chick-flick, probably starring Matthew McConaughey. Considering I'm still in therapy trying to erase "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past" from my memory, I'm not going to risk it.

42 posted on 08/07/2009 2:39:31 PM PDT by OldDeckHand (No Socialized Medicine, No Way, No How, No Time)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 35 | View Replies]

To: OldDeckHand
Sienna Miller makes her grand entrance. She's wearing a dominatrix leather suit and channeling Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Well, that sounds promising...

43 posted on 08/07/2009 2:41:27 PM PDT by Billthedrill
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: OldDeckHand

I loathed Terminator: Salvation. I thought GI Joe was pretty good in comparison. It was cheesy and full of CGI, but it had the big explosions I remember imagining when I played with the toys.


44 posted on 08/07/2009 2:55:49 PM PDT by Mr. Blonde (You ever thought about being weird for a living?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 42 | View Replies]

To: JerseyHighlander

My kids love The Mummy movies.


45 posted on 08/07/2009 3:09:32 PM PDT by BBell
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: Brett66

I thought Ishtar was the worst movie ever?

Or was that Howard the Duck?


46 posted on 08/07/2009 7:36:48 PM PDT by Chewbacca (He isn't POTUS until he shows a birth certificate. Refer to him only as Barry until he does.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Chewbacca

Ok, you asked for it. Manos is on youtube, here’s part 1:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GLkJFLkHS8

If you don’t want to stab your eyes out after part 1, then here’s part 2:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTgh5IJHCuw

Keep going until you see all 7 parts, you’ll regret it. LOL!


47 posted on 08/07/2009 7:56:38 PM PDT by Brett66 (Where government advances, and it advances relentlessly , freedom is imperiled -Janice Rogers Brown)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 46 | View Replies]

To: Brett66

Hey Brett...don’t trash Manos..lol. I love the haunting Torgo theme and the “seduction” scene. To fully appreciate the beauty of Manos you have to see the MST3K treatment.


48 posted on 08/07/2009 8:03:24 PM PDT by TrishaSC
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 47 | View Replies]

To: TrishaSC

Ahh yes, the emotional impact of the Torgo seduction scene was epic! Kind of like a million worms crawling underneath your skin.

He even convinced her not to tell her husband, quite the charmer that Torgo. LOL!


49 posted on 08/07/2009 8:25:50 PM PDT by Brett66 (Where government advances, and it advances relentlessly , freedom is imperiled -Janice Rogers Brown)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 48 | View Replies]

To: Brett66

ThE mAsTeR wOuLd NoT aPpRoVe...


50 posted on 08/07/2009 10:02:37 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Crazy is the new sane.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: OldDeckHand

It was fun to watch with my 11 year old son.

He liked the redhead.


51 posted on 08/07/2009 10:08:31 PM PDT by Professional Engineer (Need an Angry Mob? Why not call the DNC, they have a wide selection to choose from.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: OldDeckHand

39% Fresh on Rotten Tomatos. Much more mixed reviews than this article implies. The basic rap is that GI Joe is all action and little else. The dialog is an afterthought, or doesn’t add, but as a remaking of a Saturday morning cartoon, they are saying, its ok.


52 posted on 08/08/2009 4:43:57 AM PDT by dalight
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: JerseyHighlander

Racheal Weisz is a great reason to sit though the first couple of Mummy movies.


53 posted on 08/08/2009 5:14:46 AM PDT by Doohickey (I try to take my days one at a time, but occasionally several days attack me at once.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 12 | View Replies]

To: Brett66

MST3K forever! They never should have cancelled that show.


54 posted on 08/08/2009 1:06:19 PM PDT by chargers fan (Beat Navy)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Brett66
TORGO TORGO TORGO
55 posted on 08/10/2009 7:13:43 AM PDT by DM1
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: dalight

The movie wasn’t bad, if you’re looking for a generic action film. My problem with the movie is the G.I. Joe title. There were so many changes made to the 80’s Joe team, I don’t even know why they stuck that name on it. It should have been called “Action Team: Generic Soldiers.”


56 posted on 08/10/2009 7:22:05 AM PDT by LanPB01
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 52 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-56 last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson