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7 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Outbreak Would Fail (Quickly)
Cracked.com ^
| Aug 17, 2010
| David Dietle
Posted on 08/17/2010 7:11:55 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows
Let's pretend for a moment that zombies are real (as if half of you weren't already daydreaming about that very thing). Have you noticed how most zombie movies take place only after the apocalypse is in full-swing? By the time we join our survivors, the military and government are already wiped out, and none of the streets are safe.
There's a reason the movie starts there, and not earlier. It's because the early part, where we go from one zombie to millions, doesn't make any sense. If you let the creeping buzzkill of logic into the zombie party, you realize the zombies would all be re-dead long before you even got a chance to fire up that chainsaw motorcycle you've been working on. Why?
[WARNING: Strong language!]
(Excerpt) Read more at cracked.com ...
TOPICS: Humor; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: napl; zombie; zombies
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Well, that's a load off my mind.
To: Slings and Arrows
2
posted on
08/17/2010 7:12:50 PM PDT
by
Bean Counter
(Now what kind of a geroo are you anyway?)
To: Slings and Arrows; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; ...
8. Zer0 will grant them amnesty and register them as Democrats.
3
posted on
08/17/2010 7:13:44 PM PDT
by
Slings and Arrows
(You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
To: Slings and Arrows
I guess that I can sell off some of my excessive gear.
4
posted on
08/17/2010 7:27:40 PM PDT
by
ansel12
To: ansel12
5
posted on
08/17/2010 7:30:09 PM PDT
by
Kirkwood
(Zombie Hunter)
To: Slings and Arrows
6
posted on
08/17/2010 7:32:51 PM PDT
by
rsobin
To: Slings and Arrows
The last zombie outbreak I witnessed was in early November, 2008...
7
posted on
08/17/2010 7:36:10 PM PDT
by
April Lexington
(Study the constitution so you know what they are taking away!)
To: CholeraJoe; Delta 21; Nikas777; NoAmnesty; Yorlik803; TheOldLady; The Comedian; OB1kNOb; ...
8
posted on
08/17/2010 7:37:30 PM PDT
by
RandallFlagg
(Let this chant follow BHO everywhere he goes: "You lie. You lie. You lie.")
To: Slings and Arrows
Not as many fresh, living brains as there used to be.
9
posted on
08/17/2010 7:39:10 PM PDT
by
RichInOC
(No! BAD Rich! (What'd I say?))
To: rsobin
And always check the back seat.
10
posted on
08/17/2010 7:40:06 PM PDT
by
fuzzybutt
(Democrat Lawyers are the root of all evil.)
To: Slings and Arrows
Just sent this to my daughter.
Hey, she lives in New York.
11
posted on
08/17/2010 7:48:12 PM PDT
by
Eaker
(Pablo is very wily)
To: Slings and Arrows
I find the “28 Days Later” scenario much more plausible. Crazed infected people also don’t suffer from the tortured explanations people come up with for the walking dead.
12
posted on
08/17/2010 7:49:28 PM PDT
by
rbg81
(When you see Obama, shout: "DO YOUR JOB!!")
To: Slings and Arrows
13
posted on
08/17/2010 7:53:38 PM PDT
by
reagan_fanatic
(YouTube My Space and I'll Google your Yahoo.)
To: Slings and Arrows
“Really, even if zombies existed right now, the whole concept of a zombie apocalypse is just laughable. Now robots, on the other hand...”
I knew it. But everyone knows the proper terminology is “cybernetic organisms” not “robots”.
14
posted on
08/17/2010 7:56:45 PM PDT
by
Immerito
To: Slings and Arrows
The book World War Z explained how the Solanum (zombie) virus made the tissue toxic to animals and thus wasn’t consumed.
15
posted on
08/17/2010 8:00:10 PM PDT
by
tbw2
(Freeper sci-fi - "Sirat: Through the Fires of Hell" - on amazon.com)
To: April Lexington
That one ought to end in 70-odd days.
16
posted on
08/17/2010 8:02:24 PM PDT
by
Slings and Arrows
(You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
To: RichInOC
And a lot of the ones that are left seem to be past their sell-by date.
17
posted on
08/17/2010 8:04:00 PM PDT
by
Slings and Arrows
(You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
To: reagan_fanatic
Where was this guy? ComicCon?
18
posted on
08/17/2010 8:05:46 PM PDT
by
tbw2
(Freeper sci-fi - "Sirat: Through the Fires of Hell" - on amazon.com)
To: Eaker
Oooh, target-rich environment!
19
posted on
08/17/2010 8:06:10 PM PDT
by
Slings and Arrows
(You can't have IngSoc without an Emmanuel Goldstein.)
To: Slings and Arrows
20
posted on
08/17/2010 8:11:27 PM PDT
by
tbw2
(Freeper sci-fi - "Sirat: Through the Fires of Hell" - on amazon.com)
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