Posted on 05/04/2012 11:16:13 PM PDT by nickcarraway
Man facing DUI and possession of wildlife charges after small monkey found in truck
A Florida man is facing DUI charges after police pulled him over for speeding and discovered a money in his truck Thursday.
Eugene Carl Kotelman, 36, for Largo, was stopped around midnight in the area of East Bay Drive and Belcher Road, according to a Largo Police arrest affidavit.
Kotelman has bloodshot and glassy eyes, poor balance and his breath had a distinct alcohol smell, according to the report. He refused to perform field sobriety tests, the report said.
Police said Kotelman was driving on a suspended license and had been previously charged many times with driving on a suspended license and numerous times for DUI.
During the stop, officers noticed a "small monkey" in Kotelman's truck and it was given to Kotelman's friend. Kotelman was booked into the Pinellas County jail on $5,000 bond.
But after Kotelman bonded out of jail on the DUI charge, he was charged with possession of wildlife and two counts of violating fish and wildlife rules and booked into jail again.
The monkey was placed in the custody of state officers.
Bail is usually 20 bananas.
Yes, but no chance at appeal.
You’re a clever monkey. LOL .
punchline:...”yeah OK, but you don’t have to hit me in the head”
No wonder he has to have a monkey riding shotgun: he’s drunk.
And then you get...
...gorilla warfare.
[You knew that was coming.]
...or you’ll be hit with a monkey wrench.
I miss the old days.
I miss driving 55 miles without headlights, well buzzed, drinking plenty of beer, with a monkey and a girlfriend, then getting to a gas station where I traded the monkey for some gas, and something to do with the(alternator/regulator? whatever).
Thirty six hours later I was free of it all, except for the girlfriend, I got a friend to drop us off on the freeway, made sure that I had no ID, searched my pockets and found about 11 (or 35) cents, threw that away, and set off hitchhiking for many months of adventure.
Right turn, Clyde.
Damn, beat me.
Wait a second here... Was the monkey driving? If he was, that’s a clean way out of the DUI charge. Assuming of course that the monkey was sober.
Wait a second here... Was the monkey driving? If he was, that’s a clean way out of the DUI charge. Assuming of course that the monkey was sober.
Whoops.
a lot of bananas
groan....
There are obvious questions here. Is the monkey a legal US-resident monkey, or a illegal-alien monkey? (laws in Bama would apply if this had occurred there).
Then you have to wonder if the monkey had been smoking in the cab with Eugene...which would be illegal up in some New England state.
Finally, you have to wonder if the monkey had all of his vaccinations...otherwise, the health department would be involved.
“Officer, the monkey was driving and he hasn’t had a drop”.
That is the same thing I thought about - perfect country and western song by David Allan Coe.
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