***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***

[Lucky9teen]

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Hamas Bumper Stickers

These are just @ThePeoplesCube Tweets, there are many great ones made by others too.

• Honk if you've been followed by the same helicopter for the last 10 minutes
• If you can read this, you're about to be blown up, too
• I just lost 200 lbs instantly - ask me how
• My other car is a bomb
• 80 percent of success is just blowing up
• Baby suicide bomber on board
• This is your brain. This is your brain on upholstery.
• Kill, baby, kill
• What car bomb would Mohammed drive?
• Driver carries no cash, he's about to be vaporized
• "Palestinian rebels" sounds nicer than "Mob of Jew-hating murderous baby killers"
• It'll be a great day when terrorists have all the money for bombs and Israel has to hold a bake sale to build a school.
• Final solutions for a small planet
• Wherever I go, there you are. Shrapnel #5. Inevitable.
• Some of our best women are men
• Funny name. Serious damage.
• We put the "ass" in "assassin"
• Do the Jew
• Arab by birth. Murderer by choice.
• Say it with explosives
• Look, Ma, no infidels!
• If you want to capture someone’s attention, use shrapnel
• The antidote for civilization
• Please don't squeeze the Charge
• We hate Jews more than we love our children
• I'd walk a mile for a camel
• Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Jihadis
• Life’s messy, blow it up!
• You’re in good hands with Allah
• Support Habitat for Hamas!
• GET INVOLVED... The world is run by those who blow up
• Prophet before people!
• Bombs not books
• Does this suicide vest make my ass look fat?
• Blowout Sale! Free Palestine with every purchase of explosives, wires, and detonators!
• Kids... They blow up so fast!
• Suicide is sexy
• Practice random acts of violence
• Got vaporized?
• I'd rather be beheading infidels
• If you think war with Hamas is deadly, try peace.
• Support your local terrorist training camp
• Obama 2012: Bold leadership for a stronger Caliphate
• If you can read this, thank a teacher. If your wife and daughters can't, thank a mullah.
• Hamas Chevy: Like a Rock, Only Dumber.
• Give me liberty or....................nah, just give me death
• We buy safe houses, any condition
• Question Palestinian Authority
• Peace is not the answer... Say no to peace... Peace never solved anything
• Guns don't kill people. We do.
• Palestine is a convenient cause, not a place
• When fascism comes to America, it will be wrapped in hijab and carrying the Koran
• Proud Savage
• Caution: driver may be offended by just about anything

Other tweets from the feed: 

>> how's my driving? Call 1-800-bomb-you

>> what’s the martyr with you?

>> If you can read this you must be a Hellfire missile>> human Shields on Board

>> honk if Your Horn is not currently connected to a detonator

>> Gaza auto sales: we blow away the competition

>> My kid can blow up your kid

>> Read this to your favorite female loved one since she isn't allowed to read it to herself

>> honk If You're About to be Taken Out by an Israeli Air to Surface Missile

>> Shi’ite Happens

Another Twitter feed billing itself as @HamasGlobalPR did not appear to represent the actual governing authority but used an ironic voice to pose as the authority.

One tweet: “We condemn murder of A Jabari & the destruction of his new BMW M6. A merciful country would have shot last wk when he was driving a Fiat.”

Also, the tweeter observed: “To avoid further confusion, we are changing our name to "Palestinians Entitled To Reject Agreements" #PETRA, & yes, we are moving to #Jordan”

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Q. What am I if I give money to Hamas?

A. A supporter of terrorism

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Q. What am I if I give a gun to Hamas?

A. A partner in murder

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Q. What am I if I give Hamas a base to train terrorists and supply them with the ability to import weapons?

A. The Obama Administration

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"TOP 10 FATAH HAMA UNITY JOKES"

10) Palestinians had to have a reconciliation. Their suicide bombers want to form a union.

9) Fatah and Hamas put their differences aside, rallying around their common denominators: Hatred of Israel, and bad Arab television shows.

8) The difference Palestinian unity and Palestinian civil war is the spelling.

7) iPal : The all new Palestinian Unity product from Fatah and Hamas. Note: This app is prone to killing itself and blaming the Jews for its own failure.

6) Unity: What to call factionalism when all else fails.

5) My Way or the Highway: How Reconciliation is pronounced in Palestinian Arabic.

4) Palestinians buried their hatchets in order to fight together against Israel. If only they stuck to hatchets in that fight.

3) Unity. It's the new Palestinian bomb. How long until they have a "work accident"?

2) Even in death, Osama bin-Laden managed to get mournful and rueful comments from Hamas and Fatah. Talk about unity amongst terrorists.

... and the #1 fatah hamas unity joke is:

1) Palestinian unity is an oxymoron.

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“Is it just me, or does every overwhelming Hamas ‘victory’ against Israel look and sound more and more like Charlie Sheen’s version of ‘winning’?”

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Q: How does Hamas spell victory against Israel?
A: K-E-R-R-Y or O-B-A-M-A (either one will work)

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Israel ‘s deputy prime minister on Saturday said Israel should assassinate Hamas‘ leadership, ignore the moderate Palestinian president and walk away from international peace efforts.

Hamas leaders asked for a timeout until Israel and Palestine can get into some kind of counseling.

They also requested Israel try to use 'I' sentences instead of'you' sentences, such as "I don't feel respected by those actions." rather than "You are a bunch of suicide bombing @$$holes!"

 

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Hamas has said that Israel has caused no harm at all to their military capabilities and they will continue to fire rockets at them.
Is it me or do they sound like The Black Knight from Monty Python and The Holy Grail?

[Lucky9teen]

[Lucky9teen]

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INFIDEL




CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST

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[upchuck]

Somewhere in the top 10!!!

Early one morning, an elderly retired Navy pilot yelled to his wife, "Honey! Come see what I created! It's an abstract panorama depicting the six years of the Obama presidency!"

She yelled back, "Flush the toilet and come eat your breakfast."

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Isn't it great to live in a society where the penalty for lying to a congressman is up to 20 years in jail...

but the penalty for a congressman lying to you is two more years in office.

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A baker stopped making donuts after he got tired of the hole thing....

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I'm seeing bumper stickers that say, "RUN HILLARY RUN"

I've noticed that the Democrats put them on the rear bumper and Republicans put them on the front bumper.

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Two Irishmen are sitting in a small town bar, where Mick bragged to Sean: "You know, I had me every woman in this town, except of course, me mother and me sister."

"Well," Sean replied, "between you and me, we got 'em all."

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Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.

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When you care enough to send the very best...

So your daughter's a hooker,
and it spoiled your day.

Look at the bright side,
it's really good pay

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I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
             ~ Rodney Dangerfield

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A guy had a major argument with his wife. After storming away and cooling off, the guy reconsidered his position and realized he was clearly in the wrong. So to make it up to his wife he said he'd buy her a gift.

"Any thing at all, my love", the guy said overcome with remorse.

"Oh, I don't know," she replied, "you really don't have to do this, you know. But if you insist, just get me something really expensive that I don't need."

The following day he booked her for chemotherapy.

[ShadowAce]

Yea!!! It’s Friday!!

[DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis]

top ten?

[eldoradude]

THE CITY OF LOS ANGELES HIGH SCHOOL MATH PROFICIENCY EXAM
1. Johnny has an AK-47 with a 30 round clip. He usually misses 6 out of every 10 shots and he uses 13 rounds per drive-by shooting. How many drive-by shootings can Johnny attempt before he has to reload?
2. Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine. If he sells an 8 ball to Antonio for $320 and 2 grams to Juan for $85 per gram, what is the street value of the rest of his hold?
3. Rufus pimps 3 ho’s. If the price is $85 per trick, how many tricks per day must each ho turn to support Rufus’s $800 per day crack habit?
4. Jerome wants to cut the pound of cocaine he bought for $40,000 to make 20% profit. How many ounces will he need?
5. Willie gets $200 for a stolen BMW, $150 for stealing a Corvette, and $100 for a 4x4. If he steals 1 BMW, 2 Corvettes and 3 4x4’s, how many more Corvettes must he have to steal to have $900?
6. Raoul got 6 years for murder. He also got $10,000 for the hit. If his common-law wife spends $100 per month, how much money will be left when he gets out? Extra credit bonus: How much more time will he get for killing the ho that spent his money?
7. If an average can of spray paint covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 3 square feet, how many letters can be sprayed with 3 eight ounce cans of spray paint with 20% paint free?
8. Hector knocked up 3 girls in the gang. There are 27 girls in his gang. What is the exact percentage of girls Hector knocked up?
9. Bernie is a lookout for the gang. Bernie has a boa constrictor that eats 3 small rats per week at a cost of $5 per rat. If Bernie makes $700 a week as a lookout, how many weeks can he feed the boa on one week’s income?
10. Billy steals Joe’s skateboard. As Billy skates away at 35 mph, Joe loads his 357 Magnum. If it takes Joe 20 seconds to load his magnum, how far away will Billy be when he gets whacked?

[Dead Corpse]

[Currentriverrat]

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TGIF

[Yorlik803]

Woooooooooo whooooooooo
Friday...top ten

[BenLurkin]

Those are excellent!

[TADSLOS]

TOP 20!!!!!

[Izzy Dunne]

[BenLurkin]

[Izzy Dunne]

                               

[eldoradude]

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill".

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white". The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, "There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer," or "That's Michael, he's a doctor". A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead".

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching". Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note "Take all you want. God is watching the apples".

[BenLurkin]

[DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis]

[Dead Corpse]

Don't touch the cat.

[BenLurkin]

[a fool in paradise]