Posted on 08/21/2015 5:58:17 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Today is Bill Clinton's birthday. Hillary sent Bill an e-birthday card and out of habit she immediately deleted it. ~ Conan
***
Today, Hillary Clinton released an ad that emphasized her humble economic background. In the ad she says, "Just 15 years ago, my family and I were evicted from our house." ~ Conan
***
Jeb Bush cheated on his diet and had a fried Snickers bar, pork on a stick, and a beer. Jeb Bush said he ate it so at least he could see some of his numbers go up. ~ Conan
***
There are reports that if Joe Biden runs for president, he would promise to serve for only one term — because nothing says confidence like promising your presidency would be over quickly. ~ Fallon
***
This weekend many of the Republican candidates said they used a fit bit. In fact, Jeb Bush uses his to see how much distance he can put between himself and his last name. ~ Conan
***
According to a new report, the word that Donald Trump said most often in last week’s debate was “I'm.” The word he says the least: “Sorry.” ~ Fallon
***
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie said today that Hillary Clinton's arrogance is “breathtaking.” Of course, he also said the same thing about a flight of stairs.
***
Donald Trump’s new policy paper would not give automatic citizenship to children born in America if they have foreign parents. Said Trump, “It’s nothing personal, Sasha and Malia.” ~ Meyers
Tidy Bowl Operation
- Hillary’s dump of emails is so big, we need a plunger.
- Those who said Hillary didn’t give a crap about national security were dead wrong.
- Hillary on the server controversy: “I ain’t no ways turd!”
- Code name for her server wipe: Ty-D-Bol.
- Just wiping the server [is now] bathroom humor.
- Now that her server’s been found in a bathroom, when Hillary says she’s getting to the bottom of this, it takes on a whole new meaning.
- And you have to wonder, if the American people won’t take this standing up or sitting down.
- Given the latest news on Hillary’s server in a bathroom, her campaign’s now officially circling the drain.
- Reports are that Mrs. Clinton’s server was wiped multiple times a day, and a bidet was also used for good measure.
- When asked about Hillary’s email scandal, Bill Clinton candidly confessed: “Ain’t no way to polish this turd. … I have never seen Hillary so pi–ed off in my life before.”
- "Now that her server's been found in a bathroom, when Hillary says she's getting to the bottom of this, it takes on a whole new meaning."
- Why would Hillary hide her email server in the bathroom? Depends.
- You have to wonder. The American people won't take this standing up or sitting down.
- Given the latest news on Hillary's server in the bathroom her campaign's now officially circling the drain.
Does this person look innocent?
Late today, but I’m here!!!
Holy mackerel.
Oh, my. I hardly know what to think...
She never did contact me.
GUIDE TO THE PACIFIC
By Amelia Earhart
Ha!
Understandable. No self respecting hot babe with a nasty gas crisis wants ciabatta bread waved in their face.
Alcohol, chloroform, morphine, pot... party night at Cosby’s?
(I hate that it makes more sense to make that joke about Bill Cosby than Bill Clinton.)
I'm outside her house right this second.
With just a few minor tweaks — that could be my classified!
I’m going to have to learn how to post gif stuff. That is hilarious! Sick ... but hilarious. I’ve copied the address for later use when I learn how.
Thanks for a great laugh to go with my morning coffee.
Safety first. Don’t cause any sparks.
We’ve all gambled on a fart...and lost.
It’s official. I’m old. I have developed the walking farts.
Our sister-in-law refers to that as “free-farting”.
We’ve all gambled on a fart...and lost.
Just ask Al Roker on his visit to the White Hut.
5.56mm
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.
