Posted on 01/16/2017 5:38:56 AM PST by Lazamataz
I propose to give you, my valued readers, the entirety of the Russian Hacks that gave Donald Trump an illegitimate victory.
There are other things the Russians are responsible for. A short list follows:
Russians cause global warming, infanticide, glacial formation, the sinking of the Titanic, the crucifixion of Jesus Christ, and fire ants. Russians are the cause of late mail, lack of adequate punctuation, the heartbreak of psoriasis, and feminine itching. Russians are the cause of fixed greyhound races, the metric system, errors in longitudinal measurements, and smaller portions. Russians are the cause of angry wives, Speedos on fat people, mismatched socks, and mold on cucumbers. Russians are the cause of the Zombie Apocalypse, interstellar planetary collisions, muteness in albinos, and killer bees. Russians are the cause of gingivitis, off-key chorus singing, air inversions, and incremental floods. Russians are the cause of fans that quit, entropy, soap shards in the shower, and fat girls. Russians are the cause of cold oatmeal, excessive blogging, sweat stains, and misfires in 9mm ammunition. Russians are the cause of cabinet doors that do not line up, cracks in the sidewalk, the scourge of heroin, and every plane crash since 1972. Russians are the cause of John McCain, senility, traitorism, and infiltration by the left (but I repeat myself). Russians are the cause of low toner, high transmission rates, delivery service price increases, and gaudy shirts. Russians are the cause of splinters, earth tremors, Gamma ray emission by the element Lawrencium, and the lack of hobbits in real life. Russians are the cause of Facebook monitoring, trigger happy SWAT teams, pencil-neck geeks, and the Yellowstone Caldera. Russians are the cause of Russia, France, Sweden, and Zambia. Russians are the cause of carbon buildup, broken bungee cords, bad lap dances, and a lack of friendly greetings in cities. Russians are the cause of paper cuts, whirlpools, thunder, and machine disconnects. Russians are the cause of honey badgers, rigidity, painful exercise, and linear contraction. Russians are the cause of Nancy Pelosi, botox overdoses, pure insanity, and Alzheimer's. Russians are the cause of regression analysis, micro-stamping, failed unions, and misaligned microwave towers. Russians are the cause of blurry lenses, spider bites, stains, and legless crocodiles. Russians are the cause of missing keyboard keys, unexpected phone calls, broken pottery, and squeaking doors. Russians are the cause of warning labels on appliances, erectile dysfunction, waterspouts, and potholes. Russians are the cause of canker sores, narcissistic Presidents, leaking toilets, and crack addiction. Russians are the cause of corroded pennies, locomotive derailments, internet trolls, and wardrobe failures. Russians are the cause of ADHD in the clergy, Blue Screens of Death on personal computers, the French Revolution of 1789, and thorns. Russians are the cause of bad Muppet shows, holes in circus nets, the NFL going all-queer, all-the-time, and Sandra Fluke's birth-control deficit. Russians are the cause of Israel's problems with Syria, excessive salt in the Pacific Ocean, the disappearance of Malaysian Air flight 370, and infomercials. Russians are the cause of low-calorie diet soda, smudges on the Xerox, dry technical text, and animal abuse. Russians are the cause of glass shards, bad pudding, hair cancer, and sun-dried dead worms. Russians are the cause of porcelin stains, droughts, turbulence above 10000 feet, and power brown-outs. Russians are the cause of low scores on Angry Birds, weak tea, Michael Jackson's early demise, and Micheal Jackson. Russians are the cause of bad comb-overs, Chris Matthews, alcoholism, and spittle (but I repeat myself). Russians are the cause of Russians, micturition syncope, solar eclipses, and dead lithium batteries. Russians are the cause of Quiznos spongmonkeys, badly behaved Colonels, toothaches, and the shipwreck of the Minnow. Russians are the cause of failed sitcoms, knots you cannot get undone, overly-rare hamburgers at restaurants, and Miley Cyrus. Russians are the cause of squeaking hinges, malformed carrots, bent coat hangers, and slippery decks. Russians are the cause of the 2014 Midterms, tarnished silver, wobbling fans, and tangled power cables. Russians are the cause of off-hook phones, shattered ceramics, dull scissors, and dog-eared books.
It is for all these reasons that I declare Donald Trump -- who was in no way responsible or committed any of the above -- ILLEGITIMATE. We must follow the Constitution word-for-word, and simply declare him the default loser. We can then follow the Constitutional directives on holding a new election, allowing the entirely-legitimate Barack Obama to stay in the Presidency until we can arrange to appoint Hillary Clinton, who was the rightful winner all along.
Thank you sir :)
No one else in the 'news' media is willing to dig, so it fell to me.
So Bush has finally been let off the hook of blame? Now all our troubles are the fault of the Russians?
“That’s the wayyy we became the Donald’s bunch....”/s
“dees time, moose and squeeererl are feeneeshed...’ “oooh booris dahlin’... I weesh you would feeneesh!”
Pardon me while I get my shoe phone.
I saw that. Those Russians are getting serious now.
bookmark
If only the DNC had used the cone of silence.
I Did! also I put it on Facebook with 1220 Friends
Let us harken back to 2 instances of political blasphemy.
“Tell Vladimir that after I’m reelected I can be more flexible” BHO
and
HRC and the Clinton Foundation yellow cake deal.
You decide who’s yanking the political toilet chain at this point in time. Seems to me that they are attempting to throw their good buddy & BFF Vlad
Nice job ...always on top of your game, as usual.
Magnificent research, Laz.
Not enough detail, though.
Dang Laz, aren’t you afraid that the Russians are going to be some what miffed at you for revealing what they’re up to?
Could you post this to facebook so that I can comment on it so all my liberal friends can agast about it?
Damn Russkies!
Is complimenting nicely the fine work of popular girl Lame Cherry in promoting vigorous Vlad as champion of Western civilization.
See you again soon at memorial ceremony for defused & interred warheads in Oblast of Bogopol at home town of Pervomaysk.
That Hamrod remains toxic. We have perfect secure facility to hold her in solitary at Verkhoyansk dacha to chill her down. Clear night sky; −42oF at this writing.
четыре days to go, minus an hour.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.