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Top 10 Funniest Puns
sycmu ^ | 3/1/2018 | unknown

Posted on 03/01/2018 10:01:53 AM PST by sodpoodle

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent. 2. It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it. 3. There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn’t control his pupils. 4. The one who invented the door knocker got a No-bell prize. 5. He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends. 6. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor. 7. A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two-tired. 8. Some people’s noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run. 9. Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed. 10. What is the difference between a nicely dressed man on a tricycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: choices; crying; laughing; puns
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To: Leaning Right

Many puns deserve the response, “That was two thirds of a pun - PU.”


121 posted on 03/01/2018 9:50:16 PM PST by UpInArms (without failure there's no success only slavery)
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To: firebrand

The agnostic dyslexic insomniac would lie awake all night questioning the existence of dog.


122 posted on 03/01/2018 9:51:47 PM PST by Bob (Damn, the democrats haven't been this upset since Republicans freed their slaves.)
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To: N. Theknow

I knew a cross dressing person who used to date himself.


123 posted on 03/01/2018 11:56:39 PM PST by llevrok (DACA = Democrats Against Citizen Americans)
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To: Bob

I’ve seen that, but I wanted to get the tour dog in there.


124 posted on 03/02/2018 12:21:48 AM PST by firebrand
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To: N. Theknow
Italian restaurants always have "Antipesto" on the menu. I've often wondered, if there's such a thing as "Antipesto" does that mean there's such a thing as "Pesto"? If that's the case, if you were to put the two of them together on the same plate would they obliterate one another?
125 posted on 03/02/2018 3:56:35 AM PST by SkiKnee
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To: Bob

The preacher said, “Oh Lord, we know that we are but dust.”

My daughter asked me, “Daddy, what is butt dust?”


126 posted on 03/02/2018 4:46:34 AM PST by fredhead (Duty, Honor, Country.....Honor, Courage, Commitment)
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To: Rebelbase

Waddya make bagels with? Judo.


127 posted on 03/02/2018 7:20:11 AM PST by Impala64ssa (Islamophobic? NO! IslamABHORic)
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To: sodpoodle

I would tell my daughter if she ever married a guy named Ford, Dodge, Benz, Ferrari, Bentley, Lincoln or Rolls PLEASE don’t name her daughter Lisa.


128 posted on 03/02/2018 7:25:52 AM PST by Impala64ssa (Islamophobic? NO! IslamABHORic)
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To: windsorknot

Her father ran the telegraph office and she Did it did it did it did it.....


129 posted on 03/02/2018 7:29:30 AM PST by Impala64ssa (Islamophobic? NO! IslamABHORic)
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To: sodpoodle

Robinson Crusoe was walking along the shore one day when he saw footprints in the sand. With a deep sigh he said,”Thank God it’s Friday.”

My grandfather told me when I was about 11 years old to never marry a man for his money, because once I had spent it, I would be stuck with him.


130 posted on 03/03/2018 2:49:13 AM PST by matchgirl (Can you hear the people sing!)
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