Posted on 07/31/2018 9:54:28 AM PDT by Simon Green
Selfish? Totally.
I have one boy. He’s the most special of all special boys and handsome as can be. But he’s autistic.
....
All the incidentals and help my friends have, I do not.
All the typical milestones my friends get to enjoy and show off, I do not.
Before I met my husband, I dreamt of a life similar to that of Carrie Bradshaw on Sex and the City. I know — it’s nauseating for me, too — but that’s the time I grew up in.
I wanted to be a writer, living in NYC, in a fabulous apartment, meeting men and falling in love, over and over again.
Well, I found the love part and I'm a writer, so I guess two out of four ain’t bad?
I miss that dream.
What would I be doing differently in that version of myself than the one I’m living now?
Currently, I’m writing this on the couch in a pitch black room so that my son doesn’t wake up or get fidgety. Because once he’s up, he’s up.
I’d like to think I’d be in my queen-sized bed in a large studio, inhaling a breeze from the open window that delivers the flavors of the street vendors and 24-hour food places, as I write my bloody little heart out the day before a deadline. Because if one thing is consistent, it’s that I’m a procrastinator in both scenarios.
But that’s all in another life, one that never formed, and one that will never be.
Can I honestly say I regret having my son? Most days, my answer would be yes.
(Excerpt) Read more at yourtango.com ...
Thanks for your post.i am living the same life as you. It is hard but absolutely no regrets.
“Wonder if her mother regrets having her...”
She should have run down her mother’s leg.
Sex and the city. This inane woman thought her life would be like a TV show. A fictional TV show of a fantasy world.
One messed up mother. She really should give her son up for adoption. There’s no way she’s a good mother.
I am on the Autism spectrum as are several of my past and present co-workers. The reason was have “more” of them today is that we had to learn how to cope with it. The WW2 generation was not going to let you run the house. Even Aspies learn the power of consequences. When the guy behind me in 6th grade pounded on me for rocking in my seat, I learned not to do it.
I really don’t see that level of discipline any more. It’s more of an indulgence. When I see a mother allowing her child to beat her, I know she is in for a long life.
We didn’t use to see severely autistic kids in my day. They were hidden from us. That’s probably why we think there are more of them now.
I lived a large part of my life without God. Had fun, but it was empty.
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6
having children is living a real Life...its the family unit not the job you have that is important. The job allows you to support having the more important family...
“I Regret Having My Child...”
I also regret you had a child.
That's the first thing that occurred to me.
How many other female human beings were warped by watching that "harmless" entertainment, unaffected, apparently, by any guidance from mentally healthy and responsible adult parents.
I feel sorry for the boy stuck with her for a mom(?). Caregiver would be more appropriate.
HUH?
I’m not going to judge her, but I would, and can’t, associate with her.
I have so little in common with her at face value. I have an autistic son too. I wouldn’t change him.
Those fine distinctions (I regret motherhood, I love the boy) will be lost on the boy if he reads your garbage article.
Have your tubes tied so that you never subject a child to you again.
I know exactly what you're talking about. I'm also involved in prison ministry here in Myrtle Beach. Very rewarding and frustrating at the same time.
By transitivity, she regrets the husband too.
I have a new name for husbands in this new age:
‘Rented ass’
Use’em. When you are done, bankrupt them.
I don’t understand this very illogical mentality but it is common. If she had lived her sex in the city dream she would’ve likely contracted some kind of serious std or any number of other types of problems. The thing about regret is the past paths we did not take always seem more appealing because we imagine only the best outcomes which never is the case with real life so even if some other imagined more ideal path we’d find regret especially looking at the world and life as this woman does. She would never find happiness and now she lets pining for some kind of perfect life idealized as a young woman keep her from being happy now. I don’t understand her challenges or the degree of “Autism” her child has but I know damn well I’d be showing off my child no matter how imperfect in the eyes of our world.
I have 6 children and my life is considerably more fulfilling than if I’d never had them. If I had been 44 without a wife and children I would be a failure in the eyes of my own, God, and nature. I know the modern world celebrates what is genealogical suicide as if life can be an endless ego indulging party. It can’t. If you live life devoid of doing the things that make life inherently meaningful like building families then all your writings will all that will be left and you and every thing about you and everyone of your ancestors who valued their lives and sacrificed for their children will be DEAD. You don’t even have to believe in God to understand this.
People who have decided not to have kids, need to ensure they do not have kids.
I am all for people who want kids, and for people who do not. Both choices are fine. If you have kids, dont half ass it for the rest of us. If you dont, then you know your limitations and that you arent in the right mindset required for kids.
You are probably correct. I have an autistic grandson and once my daughter (his mother) said toe that she would not change him if she could. I also have a niece with Downs, who is perfect.
Any child would have been a burden to this person. Some people should not have kids. The kids of people like this are all too aware of the kind of parent they have.
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