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Angel Outside Trump’s Empty Safe Tells FBI Agents, 'Behold! The Document You Seek Is Not Here!'
The Babylon Bee ^ | August 11, 2022 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 08/12/2022 6:32:13 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks

MAR-A-LAGO, FL — New reports from Mar-a-Lago indicate that during Monday's raid, FBI agents searching the house ran quickly to see the safe only to find it empty with an angel of the Lord standing beside it. According to eyewitnesses, the FBI agents trembled and became as dead men.

"Do not be afraid!" began the glowing angel, gesturing to the open and empty vault. "I know that you seek the classified documents taken by Trump. But behold! The Documents you seek are not here!"

The agents drew their weapons and fired on the angel, but the bullets passed through the celestial being, striking the wall behind.

"Now, go!" the angel continued. "Tell your boss, Director Wray, that the documents are not here, just as Trump said."

Trump responded to the incident, saying: "Low-IQ FBI agents searched my house and didn't find anything! Pathetic witch hunt! And they talked to my angel. Well, one of my angels. I have so many angels. All the best angels."

The FBI reported the incident to the FBI Director and Attorney General, who paid the agents to keep silent on the matter and instead tell everyone that Trump's disciples came by night and stole the documents while everyone slept.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Conspiracy; Humor; Local News; Religion
KEYWORDS: document; documents; fbi; funny; humor; maralago; raid; satire
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1 posted on 08/12/2022 6:32:13 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

” I have so many angels. All the best angels.” - PDJT


2 posted on 08/12/2022 6:33:33 PM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion, or satire, or both.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

The Bee, profane, sacrilegious, and hilarious, all at once. That is Life of Brian level stuff.


3 posted on 08/12/2022 6:33:55 PM PDT by cdcdawg (Hoes mad! LOL! )
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Oh! That is clever.


4 posted on 08/12/2022 6:36:36 PM PDT by MayflowerMadam (Sometimes when you get to where you're supposed to be, it's too soon.)
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To: BenLurkin

🤣🤣


5 posted on 08/12/2022 6:40:54 PM PDT by cowboyusa (America Cowboy up!)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

This is what you get when the golden EIBee microphone broadcasts from beeyond!


6 posted on 08/12/2022 6:41:48 PM PDT by Ezekiel (🆘️𓊹 𓌃 "Come fly with US". Ingenuity -- because the Son of David begins with Mars ♂️)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Oh boy...


7 posted on 08/12/2022 6:42:51 PM PDT by Bullish (Rot'sa Ruck America. )
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To: BenLurkin

Trumps needs the “best Angels” and I think he actually deserves them at this point.


8 posted on 08/12/2022 6:45:42 PM PDT by Bullish (Rot'sa Ruck America. )
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To: Bullish

These angels?

https://youtu.be/43fqIstqGN8


9 posted on 08/12/2022 6:53:15 PM PDT by wally_bert (I cannot be sure for certain, but in my personal opinion I am certain that I am not sure.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

“… the FBI Director and Attorney General, who paid the agents to keep silent on the matter and instead tell everyone that Trump’s disciples came by night and stole the documents while everyone slept.…”
********************************************************

Just as I thought. 😂😂


10 posted on 08/12/2022 6:58:47 PM PDT by House Atreides (I’m now ULTRA-MAGA-PRO-MAX!)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

I am glad people have a sense of humor. They’ll need it in the future. Apparently there are still a lot of folks who do not realizethe seriousness of the situation. Next event: the burning of the Reichstag or the Capitol, whatever comes first.


11 posted on 08/12/2022 7:22:29 PM PDT by 353FMG
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

I am glad people have a sense of humor. They’ll need it in the future. Apparently there are still a lot of folks who do not realizethe seriousness of the situation. Next event: the burning of the Reichstag or the Capitol, whatever comes first.
Then come the camps with the words: “Labor Liberates”displayed above the gate.


12 posted on 08/12/2022 7:31:25 PM PDT by 353FMG
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Howlingly funny!

So glad we are not the kind of folks who would riot and perform unauthorized cervical surgeries when we read some winsome satire about the One who also had a great sense of humor when He walked among us.


13 posted on 08/12/2022 7:34:00 PM PDT by Albion Wilde ("Liz Cheney, Trump’s personal Javert..."--Michael Anton)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

FBI at Mar A Lago = Geraldo opening the Al Capone’s vault


14 posted on 08/12/2022 7:44:57 PM PDT by The_Media_never_lie
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

CHARLIE BROWN: “Isn’t there anyone out there who can tell me what the raid on Mar-A-Lago was all about?”

LINUS: “Sure, Charlie Brown, I can tell you. Lights, please.”


15 posted on 08/12/2022 7:58:42 PM PDT by Arcadian Empire (The Baric-Daszak-Fauci spike protein, by itself, is deadly.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Excellent.


16 posted on 08/12/2022 8:07:13 PM PDT by Jamestown1630 ("A Republic, if you can keep it.")
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

The Bee does it again!


17 posted on 08/12/2022 8:30:24 PM PDT by BradyLS (DO NOT FEED THE BEARS!)
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To: Arcadian Empire

Brilliant!


18 posted on 08/12/2022 8:32:28 PM PDT by BradyLS (DO NOT FEED THE BEARS!)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Classic!


19 posted on 08/12/2022 8:37:12 PM PDT by Rocky (The forces of tyranny expand inexorably to fill the space made available for their existence. )
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

ROTFLMBO!!!!


20 posted on 08/12/2022 11:36:39 PM PDT by griffin (When you have to shoot, SHOOT; don't talk. -Tuco)
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