Dan Rather Airs Segment Tonight On Ralph Nader Sex Scandal

American Colonoscopy Review, September, 2004 Issue | 9/14/04 | Mr.Fine

[MrFine]

CBS Anchorman, Dan Rather has exposed papers showing Reform Party candidate Ralph Nader was paid for a nude photo spread on this weeks segment of 60 minutes.

[MrFine]

CBS Anchorman, Dan Rather has exposed papers showing Reform Party candidate Ralph Nader was paid for a nude photo spread on this weeks segment of 60 minutes. He will be displaying digitally blurred photos of Mr. Nader's photos as well as a typed release of rights contract that was verified by noted Alzheimers victim and CBS document analyst, Kitty Kelly. Mr. Rather was quoted as saying "Now that we squished ol'dubya like a grasshopper on a windshield in Kansas, lets really show those pajama wearing blogeers how much muscle the REAL media has. This'll make Kerry more popular than a cute cousin with allher teeth at a family reunion in Hope, Arkansas." American Colonoscopy Review, (ACR) submitted the documents to our document verification analyst, Dr. Edwina Bileslip. Dr. Bilesnag expresses grave concerns about the photos authenticity and the contract as well. "I am fairly certain that Mr. Nader does not have pectorals like Vin Diesel, He is much more likely to have man-breasts like Michael Moore." As such, we must therefore conclude that once again, Dan Rather has colored the truth with his view of reality which to this reporter is more similar to the doped up protesters seen outside Madison Square Garden last week.

[buckeyesrule]

Ralph Nader had sex? LOL!

[Mercat]

This can only help Nader's ratings

[Brilliant]

Is this for real? Has the National Enquirer taken over CBS?

[Darkwolf377]

How scandalous is asexual reproduction?

[MaryFromMichigan]

Oh, I see.

I thought they were going to pay Nader to pose nude on 60 Minutes.

Not so, huh?

[spunkets]

"Ralph Nader had sex? LOL!"

THat's what I was thinkin' LOL!

[evad]

This can only help Nader's ratings

Absolutely..
this scandal can only elevate him a notch in the eyes of the dim-base.

If it can be proven true, make it two notches.

[IamJustright]

I heard he had sex in the back of a Corvair

[Jaysun]

God help me. You should put a warning label on post like this. This is traumatizing. I can only hope that it's traumatizing enough to cause my subconscious to quickly block the nauseating image that's now seared in my mind.

[Servant of the 9]

There have been rumors for several years that the owners of the broadcast networks have all wanted to kill their news divisions, and keep only the magazine shows like 60 minutes that make a buck, and put them in the entertainment division.

They have all been too chicken to do it because of the uproar in congress and possible loss of broadcast licenses by their owned and operated stations.

Viacom, owner of CBS may be quietly encouraging the news department to hang tough.
Old Dan probably thinks it is corporate giving him the backing he deserves.
Viacom knows Dan is gonna make a scandal big enough to give them an excuse to pull the plug.

So9

[Lonesome in Massachussets]

Even if this post were true - I'll go out on a limb here and say it's a joke - there is absolutely no way the CBS suits would let Rather, of all people, present it.

[mrsmith]

Dan 'Otter' Rather on Forgerygate:
"Ladies and gentlemen, I'll be brief. The issue here is not whether we broke a few rules or took a few liberties with the truth -- we did. But you can't hold a whole broadcast news division responsible for the actions of a few sick, perverted individuals.
For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole broadcast system? And if the whole broadcast system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our public communication institutions in general?
I put it to you ... isn't this an indictment of our entire American society?
Well, you can do what you want to us, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America!"

[Brilliant]

I assume he reported the story in the hope that it would reduce Nader's ratings. You are right. I doubt that Nader's support gives a hoot whether he had sex with a dog. Dan Rather making a story of a Nader sex scandal is likely to make a certain portion of the voting public mad, and inevitably draw those votes to Nader.

[swilhelm73]

Might want to put a (Humor) or (Satire) tag with your title...you'd be surprised what people might take as straight news otherwise. ;)

On a more serious note, how long until the Dems start gay baiting Nader again?

[Petronski]

Even if the documents are fake, the questions are very important and must be answered!

[SandRat]

No it was a Pinto.

[Fintan]

That was my initial response too.

 

[AFPhys]

The Enquirer covered the Lewinsky scandal long before CBiaS FRAUDcasting network did, and did a more extensive and better job of it. I think you ought to stop insulting them - you might get sued.
/

[Unknown Freeper]

Do we really want to know that Nader had sex? This is way too much information.