DUmmie FUnnies 02-25-05 ("BREAKING: Kerry/Edwards File More Ohio Election Motions!!!")

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | February 25, 2005 | Pied Piper Pitt, DUmmies, and PJ-Comix

[PJ-Comix]

William Rivers Pitt has pulled out his magic flute and is fooling the DUmmies once again with his election fraud tune. If this sounds like Déjà vu all over again, it is because Pied Piper Pitt has played this same tune many times before in order to puff himself up with his manufactured self-importance with yet another election “scoop” that means less than nothing. The only thing that makes this latest self-puffery slightly more amusing than the rest is that it is being played by Pied Piper Pitt over a month AFTER the inauguration. You can hear Pied Piper’s Pitt’s latest tune being played for your amusement on this DUmmie THREAD breathlessly titled, “BREAKING: Kerry/Edwards File More Ohio Election Motions!!!” So what’s all the hoopla really about? YAWN! Nothing more than some obscure legal motion where a couple of the minor league candidates filed a statement on something called a legal transfer and, OH YEAH, Kerry-Edwards (actually their lawyers) filed a document in support of that statement. If you want to pop some No-Doze and read it for yourself you can find it on Pied Piper Pitt’s appropriately named (because all the Truth is Outta there) TRUTHOUT website. As usual the DUmmie rantings and Pied Piper Pitt’s flutings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, struggling to stay awake after being tranquilized by the obscure meaningless legal motions, is in the [brackets]:

BREAKING: Kerry/Edwards File More Ohio Election Motions. The documents have been posted.

[YAWN! Been there. Done that. The only thing even slightly amusing about your recycled act this time, Pied Piper Pitt, is the timing since this “revelation” comes over a month AFTER inauguration.]

Great news. Thanks. I'm going to check it out.

[And don’t forget to take a strong dose of No-Doze. This latest “revelation” by Pied Piper Pitt is like that famous description of Oakland---There’s no there there.]

Hmmm..what do you make of this Will? Seems too little too late, yet why would Kerry have not been pushing harder earlier?

[A little too late? Now why would you have that wild idea?]

john & john said every vote would be counted... on 11/3 & several times after that, so they are making good on their promise. doesn't it make your heart swell in pride that our man never quits, says what he'll do and then does what he says.

[SNIFF! I’ve got a lump in my throat. This obscure legal motion filed by nameless lawyers is going to CHANGE the future course of world events.]

Kerry has been awfully quiet lately. I was just thinking that.

[Don’t you get it? It’s all part of the PLAN. Two years before the election, Kerry PLANNED to lose the election and allow Bush to be inaugurated. Then over a month after the inauguration, it was PLANNED that some of his lawyers would file a minor legal motion in Ohio that would OVERTURN the election. De PLAN, boss, De PLAN!!!]

It was always going to come down to evidence. That is how he worked as a prosecutor to prevent going to court and losing. If he didn't have a preponderance of the evidence he wouldn't have his office prosecute cases needlessly. Whatever comes of this now will be for the good of the country, even though it may not work to Kerry's personal benefit. This is also why they held on to some of the campaign funds.

[Yeah, that 15 million buck campaign fund that wasn’t spent on the campaign was set aside specifically for the purpose of filing a meaningless obscure legal statement in support of someone else’s equally meaningless and obscure legal motion in Ohio.]

This may all work out in the end. Now Shrub's cabinet nominees all lied under oath. And if one card in this house of cards gets taken down by the courts, so go the rest. I really was quite disappointed with Kerry lately, but now I see perhaps he was proceeding cautiously all along. Though I promise not to get too hopeful yet...

[Not me! I’ve broken out the champagne and plan an all night victory party for Kerry. I BELIEEEEEVE!!!]

He has a pattern of sticking with something, for years if he has to. He's still on the BCCI case after all these years, as the people who lost money in that bank take it to court, blasting the Bank of England for not doing more to help those people. It may not be a fast-moving process, but I think we will see these little reports from time to time to let us know he's still on the case. Maybe something will eventually happen, maybe not. I understand your caution, but I can't help but think that they pissed off the wrong fellow. It will be the end of them yet.

[It may not be a fast moving process but the election results will DEFINITELY be overturned in the year 2525…..IF man is still alive.]

I'm PLEASED!! Let's keep the election fraud on the front burner!

[Everybody! KICK this thread. FORM ELECTION FRAUD COMMITTEES! SEND A LEGAL TEAM TO OHIO! INVESTIGATE ALL OBSCURE MEANINGLESS ELECTION DOCUMENTS! HURRY! HURRY! HURRY!]

THE DOCUMENTS HAVE BEEN POSTED

[Thank you, Pied Piper Pitt. I’ve seen them and I am struggling to stay awake.]

Will, about six weeks ago you said things would start brewing in six weeks.

[Six weeks is about the right time frame for Pied Piper Pitt to recycle his old comedy routines. He knows the DUmmies have very short memory spans.]

Thanks Will! This is great news. I was hoping my esteemed junior Senator would keep at it. I'm glad he hasn't given up, even though it will not benefit him personally. (And will be seen as too little too late by many folks, alas.)

[Too little, too late? Where did you get such a crazy idea? These obscure legal motions in Ohio means that we are at the DAWNING OF THE AGE OF AQUARIUS!!!]

And what's the status of the Alliance For Democracy? I know they are getting screwed by a countersuit, but are we to believe they're done? I feel bad for Cliff and all of them, but I wonder if they're still planning to file another suit somewhere. I remember when they withdrew Moss V Bush they promised they were going to continue to collect evidence and file again somewhere else.

[Unfortunately that case gathered too much Moss.]

This is great news. I KNEW that they would keep fighting. They are both OUTSTANDING attorneys.

[May I interest you in the purchase of a certain bridge in Brooklyn?]

I'm telling you, Bushco are NOT going to serve out their term. About 4 major psychics have said so. One in particular, I remember, said that by 2006, Bush would have NO connection with Power.

[FOUR MAJOR PSYCHICS have said this? Well, you just CAN’T argue with that type of expertise.]

I still contend it IS Kerry's destiny to be President (and NOT as late as 2008). How we'll ever get this through the Repug-controlled court system will be a major miracle in itself, but....forever the optimist...fingers crossed!

[I BELIEEEEEEVE!!!]

YoooWhoooo! Thanks Will. Come on Howard fight for the truth!! TALK TO THE HOUSE JUDICIARY DEMS, THEY ARE A CLEARINGHOUSE FOR FRAUD EVIDENCE! Please don't do this to "stifle the left", we've put our time, money, heart and soul into this investigation. We need a leader to take this forward!!!! Great news! Fight on DEMS!

[CREATE YOUR OWN VIRTUAL REALITY!!!]

This spark should keep the fire going. Now let's keep fanning the fire.

[ENTER THE ALTERNATE UNIVERSE!!!]

Edwards would not be still digging if he didn't think he had a case! Thanks Will. I do not believe knowing lawyers, and Edwards winning background they'd be doing this "still" less they had something.

[CHANT THE “ELECTION FRAUD” MANTRA!!!]

don't forget that John Kerry is a lawyer, too. He was a prosecutor and tried 7,000+ cases and won them all as Asst. D.A. If anyone can bring this fraud to light, it's these two sharp guys and their team!

[CONSULT MOTHER GOOSE FOR OUR OWN ALTERNATE REALITY!!!]

I can't f'ing believe it! This is GREAT!!!!

[SHOOT OFF THE VICTORY FIREWORKS!!!]

There has been WAY ample time for the crooks to compromise the programming of the previously compromised central tabulators and voting machines. And just think of all the paper ballots that have surely been "audited" by republican activist thugs. I am VERY glad that the 2-Johns are in on this, but it seems to me the forensic evidence is getting away, or has already gotten away. I'm also curious as to what's still happening in all of the other states that bush stole with his slimey army of thugs.

[KILLJOY! And for splashing cold water on our very solid hopes, you will NOT be invited to Kerry’s Alternate Reality Inauguration party.]

Well, I'll be damned! YIPPEE!!! Thanks for the lift...

[Don’t forget to copy and paste that statement into Notepad so you can use it again and again and again for the many other times that Pied Piper Pitt posts the VERY LATEST “scoops” about obscure Ohio legal motions being filed.]

[PJ-Comix]

I've just created my own alternate reality where Jeff Kleinman of the Graybill and English Literary Agency calls me to inform me that he just arranged a multi-million dollar book contract for my DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert). So why is my phone NOT ringing? Perhaps Jeff Kleinman prefers to e-mail me instead. Okay, Jeff, if that is the case then here is my e-mail addy: PJ-Comix

Let me know if you want on the DUmmie FUnnies PING List.

[imskylark]

Hey first!

[PJ-Comix]

PING!

[MadIvan]

Oh for God's sake. The President was duly elected and is now well into his 2nd term. These fools had better get used to drinking from the bitter cup of disappointment.

Regards, Ivan

[cripplecreek]

And the rats follow the pie eyed piper into the sea to drown.

[imskylark]

I can't believe they are falling for this again. They never learn.

[NELSON111]

I love it when they prlong their agony. This will just increase their reliance on meds when this latest house of cards falls in on them

[EllaMinnow]

Schadenfreunde so delicious that one absolutely must have a cigarette after reading it.

[PetroniDE]

Tell the Dems to "Get-A-Job". Here is a McDonalds application already filled out for them (courtesy of Fintan - let's give credit where credit is due).

[PJ-Comix]

This is all part of Pied Piper Pitt's recyled "legal motion filed" shtick. He has done it several times before. Since the DUmmies have very short attention spans he recycles it about once every six weeks or so. Hey, Pied Piper Pitt! Don't forget to recycle this VERY SAME comedy act again in May. We NEED the laughs!

[Caipirabob]

How can you possibly remain afloat in that sea of insanity?!? You must have a steel will...

[kingattax]

with all these dimtards around, it answers the question why there are so many infomercials.

[techcor]

They are going to drag out their agony for four years. Every once in awhile with a "psychic says the repukes are doomed". When they had a post of how the Lebanon protesters were dupes and the BFEE had done the assasination, it just showed how hopeless they are going to be for four years.

[PetroniDE]

WHAT -- No References about sending money? Money must be the dems problem. They have been soaked dry by the "recounts" during November-December 2004.

As the preacher at the First Coin Operated Church of Pasadena, TX once said, "If money is your problem, send me your problem".

[roses of sharon]

The libs are fundraising again!! And there are plenty of government checks to collect from the DU.

[Fenris6]

Next to West Wing, the DUmmy 2004 Election Results section is my favorite Alternate Reality.

They are about to uncover the truth: Karl Rove is really an alien from Area 51.

[An Old Marine]

I'm filing a suit tomorrow to start the recount on the 1912 Wilson-Taft-Roosevelt election. I can prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that Democrat operative thugs stuffed ballot boxes in 7 states. Teddy Roosevelt won the election fiar and square!

We must right this wrong! JUSTICE! EVERY VOTE MUST COUNT!!!

[Lazamataz]

William Rivers Pitt has pulled out his magic flute and is fooling the DUmmies once again with his election fraud tune.

I'm starting to seriously wonder if Pitt isn't secretly on our side.

[Jackson57]

I never cease to be amazed at how gullible the DUmmies are. Is Will Pitt taking up a collection to continue this "fight"?

At risk of being crass, Andy_Stephenson is collecting money for a health problem, since he's (in his words) "gainfully unemployed". I'm sorry and don't mean to be cruel, but this also smells like a scam.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=104x3165720

[mondonico]

Very funny. Question for you, in your capacity as a DUmmie-ologist: Have they anywhere addressed the REAL investigation of REAL fraud in Milwaukee and the rest of Wisconsin (which included slashing the tires of GOP GOTV vans on the morning of election day, and thousands of "voters" registered as living on billboards, in vacant lots, etc.)? Kerry "won" that state by only a few thousand votes....