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DUmmie FUnnies 04-12-05 ("kerry crap and the election")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | April 12, 2005 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 04/12/2005 7:05:20 PM PDT by PJ-Comix

It is almost three months AFTER the Inauguration and the DUmmies are still reliving the agony of their November defeat. They STILL can’t get over it as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “kerry crap and the election.” According to DUmmie theology, Kerry ran a better campaign than Bush and actually won the election. So I guess Teh-RAY-suh is now our first lady, right? Perhaps in the DUmmie alternate universe where they have created their own reality. In any event, it is quite hilarious to watch the DUmmies relive and agonize over the 2004 election. Nothing like a bunch of bile oozing out of their pores to make for some high comedy. As usual, the DUmmie fantasies are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, watching Botox ooze out of Kerry’s pores, is in the brackets:

kerry crap and the election

[True. There was a lot of Kerry crap in the election.]

reading the board today, and then listening to jon stewart tonight talk about how bad a candidate kerry was. he had everything against him. he handle so many things well. he did the debates well. he ran his cmapaign well, in my opinion. he had crowds and they worked them. he had good speeches, and good plans for the country. and the media never showed his speeches or they did and then just tore him up, not ever what he said., plan plan doesnt kerry have a plan, no plan kerry, after he lays it out

[Kerry was about as good a candidate as is your grammar, DUmmie seabeyond. What’s the matter? Can’t afford a whole $5 for a new keyboard with a working cap lock?]

bush ran such a bad campaign. only certain people allowed in his speeches. he tripped up so many times. lousy debates and people raz on kerry now pissed at him for conceding early, i can hear that, though i knew election night it was stolen, and believe it today, i can see why he didnt fight it. i dont like it, but i can understand. but i didnt think he ran a bad campaign. he had the energy. the people working for him. at the end, bush people, their heads hung down. i saw as many kerry signs and stickers as bush in te panhandle of texas. my repugs knew bush was going to lose bush did not run a good campaign.

[Bush didn’t run a good campaign? Then that must not have been him I saw inaugurated on Jan. 20. Oh, and please send me a telegram when you finally learn how to write English.]

Ok and your were leading up to what? I know the bushitler stole this last election without a doubt...he was even here in AZ scamm'n with Calangelo eat'n at the Teepee. He's a weasling f*cking cheater, but guess we did all we could do to expose it to no avail. Short of a revolution, what do you suggest?

[Diebolds with new settings.]

i am not opposed to a revolution, wink. i just was watching jon stewart. he and another guy were saying how bad a candidate kerry was. i just dont think he was a bad candidate. i thought he was a good cadidate, with all he had to go against. my gosh, all the labels and what people wanted from him. i wasnt a fan, but i really grew to like kerry. no point. just stewart saying it on national tv gave me a bit of reality check.

[Wink. So you must support a bolshevik revolution, but not a Bolshevik Revolution my little cap lock deprived DUmmie?]

Looking back now I understand how hard it was for him. No fair coverage on the MSM, the SBV people, John O'Neil and his shit and how the media makes Bush look like a god. I saw that tonight and was kinda sad how Stewart was making Kerry to look like a horrible canidate. He was great I think as were all of them. They all would've had the same shit whether it be Howard Dean or General Clark. Yes, Kerry made a few mistakes and I think things could've been better but we were so attacked by the media and with the electronic voting machines and how OVER NIGHT the republican party were allowed to go into the polling places to challenge people.

[I personally threw out a dozen multi-hued mohawk haired MTVers from my local polling place. One can NEVER be too careful.]

And at least, if they steal the next election from us, let's go Ukrainian on their asses.

[And smash those nasty Republicans in the pocketbook with another “Not One Damn Dime Day.”]

i have been going to past music and trying to pull out the revolutionary music to copy onto tape for my car. (rocket launcher) so this summer i can get kids motivated. i dont need violence, no sir, not my thing. i prefer revolution in music and dance and outside and picnics with family and kids playing. marches. democrats are so cool, we should have the coolest of revolution. and we are way smarter

[Tiptoe through the Tulips on the way to the Winter Palace.]

He attempted to triangulate his positions too much, and cost himself much energy; he didn't realize soon enough that the Swift Boat Liars would gain traction; he needed to weave the strands of his postions into a stronger rope, etc., etc. But on the whole it was a winning campaign. Unfortunately, to take office, he needed a very large margin (by presidential election standards), say 5-6 percent at least, to overcome the vote thefts all over the country. We'll never know what the real vote was -- I'm thinking about 51% K - 48% B, but that was a small enough gap for the traitorouspigf*ckingslimedogs to close. They've got the mechanisms of the vote firmly fixed in their hands. To win nationally, we're going to have to swamp their ability to steal elections.

[ALL your Diebolds belong to US!]

Bush won, because Rove spent 4 years planning this fix. It will catch up with them...

[…in the Year 2525 if Man is still Alive.]

I still want this man to be president some day. I do wish the American people would get their collective heads out of the asses and stop looking for a guy they can have a beer with but never will.

[Next time around, Kerry will sign his Form 180 to prove that the Swift Boat Vets were liars. He’ll sign it because he PROMISED he would. It will happen any day now…or maybe any year now.]

How in the name of hell was Kerry a bad candidate? His crowds were tremendous, there was a real feeling of elation in the air on election day, bush was told by Karen Hughes that he was losing, you could see all the signs of a Kerry win.

[So are you mad that you didn’t get an invite from Susan Estrich to her Kerry Victory Party?]

It was GOP shill Byron York who dumped on Kerry while Stewart humored him. Then, of course, York blamed Michael Moore and MoveOn, next. Completely inconsistent, they will SAY ANYTHING to get rid of Kerry, Moore and MoveOn, so they blame all three. They know damn well they had to pull every lie they could, control the media and rig the machines to force themselves back into power. Then they say Kerry was just a bad candidate.

[Funny but James Carville who helped run Kerry’s campaign ALSO says he was a bad candidate.]

Kerry was far to "polite". I agree with a lot of the positive points you bring up. But he really didn't run AGAINST Bush nearly hard enough. He couldn't even bring himself to call Bush a LIAR, in spite of all the evidence that Bush lies so habitually every day that Nixon looks kinda honest by comparison! Kerry didn't fight back nearly enough when outrageous lies and slanders were published about his Navy service in Vietnam. Even people in Vietnam said those lies were outrageous.

[Too bad Kerry waited too long to promise to sign Form 180 to prove those were outrageous lies. But now that Kerry has definitely promised to sign Form 180 sometime in the future, he has put that issue to rest…once he takes care of the mere formality of actually signing it.]

I sure hope Kerry doesn't try to run in 2008. We'll need a Franklin Roosevelt to save America by then! Actually, Barbara Boxer would make a great President in such a crisis, but unfortunately I don't think a woman would have much chance of being elected. Well, she'd make a great vice President too!

[Karl Rove has already designated Hillary as the Democrat ’08 nominee. You cannot defeat the will of the Perfect Rovian Storm.]

Of course anything can happen from now until 2008. For all we know at 2006 we could win back the majority and have impeachment hearings for the whole Bush administration and put in Kerry and Edwards. One can dream.

[One can dream of an entirely NEW constitution since our current one provides NO PLACE in presidential succession for either Ketchup Boy or the Breck Girl.]

The "stolen election" crap is sour grapes.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

I thought he did fine, but "Rat-F*cker" Rove...is a master of deceit. His cronies are a pack of parasites. No matter how adept Kerry is, the Rove machine is so corrupt, that a man as upstanding as Kerry is could - or would - never stoop to that level. There were times when I almost wished he had, but the truth of the matter is, Kerry is a man of honor, and Roveco. are a bunch of maggots.

[Rove has determined that your next nominee will be Hillary. You don’t like it? Live with it! Nothing can stand in the way of the Rove Machine.]

Kerry's parents raised him well. You can see that today and in the movie "Going UpRiver." His parents must be proud.

[Especially the part where Kerry spent Christmas in Cambodia in his Swift Boat fighting the Khmer Rouge…or was he supplying them?]

they are pigs. no moral. will do anything to f*ck us. perverted. be a rape, the grossest of rapes. they are that filthy

[The Deliverance hillbillies are gazing upon one of your orifices with great hunger oh cap lock deprived one.]

I wish he would go after the SBVT assholes.

[Don’t worry. It will happen as soon as Kerry signs his form 180. It will happen any day now…or any year now…well, sometime in this millenium…maybe.]

I remember reading an article of an interview with Kerry's ex-wife Julia. She was talking about how she and Kerry still talk and how he really wanted to go after the SBVT people but according to her the DLC wouldn't let him go after and the DLC wouldn't let people bash Bush at the convention because it might turn people off.

[Kerry desperately wanted to sign his form 180 but it was the nasty DLC that kept him from doing so. They have puppet strings attached to Kerry that controlled his every move. And, of course, the DLC has strings manipulated by Puppet Master Rove.]

that night of the convention the memo was out and all the repugs covering the democratic convention and the media were balsting they had better not say anything mean, they had better not be tough.

[better not use a keyboard with a working cap lock.]

I agree with you--the only asset Bush had is Rove and Kerry's biggest problem was not responding early enough to the swift boaters which dominated the news in September.

[At least Kerry has finally responded to the Swift Boaters with a DEFINITE promise to sign his form 180 at some point in the future…maybe.]

Kerry wasn't a bad candidate, but his campaign was PATHETIC. Right from the start of it when they f*cked up the balloon drop at the convention and his brother was all bent out of shape cursing the happenings. "Why aren't the f*cking balloons coming down?!?" If that wasn't a sign of things to come, I don't know what was.

[The balloon drop! Of course! It was the botched balloon drop that doomed the Kerry campaign from the get-go.]

So many times they hesitated and ignored the Swift Boat F*cks until it was too late and the damage was already done. Not saying anything was almost like admitting the liars were right.

[Yeah. All it would have taken was Kerry’s signature on his form 180 to prove that he DID spend Christmas in Cambodia as was seared, SEARED into his memory.]

So many times they had him do STUPID publicity stunts in the late stages of the campaign like dressing up in camouflage to go out goose hunting of all things! Oh, sure, all the gun people are going to fall for that one, like it's not too obvious or anything.

[I was sort of partial to the Bunny Wabbit Sperm Cell Space Suit myself.]

Too many times they advised him to stress the word KILL in his speeches. How many times did we have to hear him say, "I'm going to seek out the terrorists wherever they are and KILL them!!"

[“I’m going to seek out my campaign and KILL it by wearing a Bunny Wabbit Sperm Cell Space Suit.”]

Too many times his advisors had him deliver the type of message that came off as being self-serving and insincere. Who was the IDIOT that advised him to make his famous Mary Cheney is a Lesbian remark at the end of his debate??

[Janet Reno?]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: 2004election; dummies; johnkerry
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Too tired right now to go into full grovel mode for Mary Matalin. However, not too tired to post my contact addy for her to let me know about my multi-million dollar DUmmie FUnnies book (with CD-ROM insert for the related comix stories) contract: PJ-Comix.

Let me know if you want on the DUmmie FUnnies PING List.

1 posted on 04/12/2005 7:05:23 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
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To: PJ-Comix

Number ONE!


2 posted on 04/12/2005 7:05:52 PM PDT by speed_addiction (Ninja's last words, "Hey guys. Watch me just flip out on that big dude over there!")
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To: Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; tje; ml1954; ...

PING!


3 posted on 04/12/2005 7:07:12 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

2


4 posted on 04/12/2005 7:08:35 PM PDT by NeoCaveman (Heck, even I'm a sedevantist today)
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To: PJ-Comix
Let's see, a revolution, in America, in the summer...

i prefer revolution in music and dance and outside and picnics with family and kids playing.

Made up of music, dance, and picnics...Um, who's going to notice?

5 posted on 04/12/2005 7:10:33 PM PDT by EllaMinnow
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To: PJ-Comix

Top Ten!


6 posted on 04/12/2005 7:10:50 PM PDT by Mr. Silverback (I tried walking into a Target, but I missed.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Kerry's parents raised him well. You can see that today and in the movie "Going UpRiver." His parents must be proud.

Is it just me, or does this title sound like gay porn?

7 posted on 04/12/2005 7:12:17 PM PDT by MortMan (Quiet reflection does not involve a mirror.)
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To: PJ-Comix

john kerry , the rosie ruiz of politics.


8 posted on 04/12/2005 7:13:38 PM PDT by pipecorp (Which is more dangerous, a lying gun or a lying dem?)
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To: PJ-Comix

4th?


9 posted on 04/12/2005 7:14:08 PM PDT by Feiny (The tears of unfathomable sadness...Yummy...yummy.)
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To: MortMan

8?


10 posted on 04/12/2005 7:14:17 PM PDT by rdl6989
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To: feinswinesuksass

How early do ya have to git here to be the first?


11 posted on 04/12/2005 7:14:58 PM PDT by rdl6989
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To: rdl6989

8 will get you 10 ;-P


12 posted on 04/12/2005 7:18:53 PM PDT by MortMan (Quiet reflection does not involve a mirror.)
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To: rdl6989
How early do ya have to git here to be the first?

You have to be here just before the second.

13 posted on 04/12/2005 7:19:03 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix
Kerry's parents raised him well. You can see that today and in the movie "Going UpRiver." His parents must be proud

I thought the name of that movie was "Going Upriver, Without a Paddle"?

Kerry has parents?

14 posted on 04/12/2005 7:19:11 PM PDT by dirtbiker (Solution for Terrorism: Nuke 'em 'till they glow, then shoot 'em in the dark!)
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To: PJ-Comix
Kerry wasn't a bad candidate, but his campaign was PATHETIC. Right from the start of it when they f*cked up the balloon drop at the convention and his brother was all bent out of shape cursing the happenings. "Why aren't the f*cking balloons coming down?!?" If that wasn't a sign of things to come, I don't know what was.

The balloon mishap was definitely the least of his probs, but man was that funny! So glad this DUmmie reminded us of this!

15 posted on 04/12/2005 7:22:23 PM PDT by KJC1
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To: PJ-Comix

The DUmmies really believe Kerry ran a great campaign & the media tried to stop him? What meds are they on....not that I want any....but just in case Haillary wins in 08.


16 posted on 04/12/2005 7:23:15 PM PDT by Feiny (The tears of unfathomable sadness...Yummy...yummy.)
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To: PJ-Comix

"Rat-F*cker" Rove"


OK I'll give em that one because he definately stuck it to em.


17 posted on 04/12/2005 7:23:50 PM PDT by cripplecreek (I'm apathetic but really don't care.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Unfortunately, to take office, he needed a very large margin (by presidential election standards), say 5-6 percent at least, to overcome the vote thefts all over the country. We'll never know what the real vote was -- I'm thinking about 51% K - 48% B,

So they are saying that they need 5-6% MORE than the 10+% they already get for dead, multiple, and illegal votes? They are in deeper $hit than even they know....

18 posted on 04/12/2005 7:24:26 PM PDT by dirtbiker (Solution for Terrorism: Nuke 'em 'till they glow, then shoot 'em in the dark!)
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To: PJ-Comix
I am very glad that these insane delusional liberals are our opponents. They are too dumb to ever win again, ever.
19 posted on 04/12/2005 7:25:25 PM PDT by jveritas (The Left cannot win a national election ever again.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Why are they so angry, it's not like they sent the 1st team out or anything?? Maybe their tired of Ash Heaps??

Pray for W and Our Troops

20 posted on 04/12/2005 7:25:45 PM PDT by bray (Iraq, freed from Saddamn now Pray for Freedom from Mohammad)
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