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DUmmie FUnnies 06-01-06 (Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. Dons Tinfoil Hat Over "Stolen Election")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | June 1, 2006 | Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., DUmmies, and PJ-Comix

Posted on 06/01/2006 3:07:16 PM PDT by PJ-Comix

It now looks like the Kennedy family has now joined the ranks of the tinfoil hat loony leftwing brigrade in the form of Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.. The former heroin addict has long been on the ecology kick EXCEPT in cases where energy conservation would have put energy saving windmills near his family's back yard at Cape Cod. However, now Bobby Jr. has stepped over the bounds of political sanity to join the DUmmies in his allegation that the 2004 election was stolen as you can see in his Rolling Stone ARTICLE titled, "Was the 2004 Election Stolen?" So move over benburch, IndiaGreen, Mopaul, Will Pitt, and the rest of you DUmmieland loons, you have company. What next? Will Bobby Jr. start posting MIHOP/LIHOP conspiracy theories in DUmmieland under the screen name of "Mr. Meds"? Of course, the DUmmies are now OVERJOYED that there is now a celebrity who is willing to proclaim himself as sanity challenged as they are as you can see in this THREAD titled, "ROLLING STONE: WAS THE 2004 ELECTION STOLEN?" So let us now watch the love fest as the DUmmies welcome Robert F. Kennedy as one of their own in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, suggesting that Bobby switch to methadone, is in the [brackets]:

ROLLING STONE: WAS THE 2004 ELECTION STOLEN

[You need to ask that question? In DUmmieland that "fact" is a given.]

Republicans prevented more than 350,000 voters in Ohio from casting ballots or having their votes counted -- enough to have put John Kerry in the White House. BY ROBERT F. KENNEDY JR. Page 1 2 3 4

[Hey Bobby! I know of a midwestern state where dead voters cast their ballots in great numbers. No, not Ohio. It was Illinois in 1960 where the Cook County cemetary dwellers gave the presidency to a certain uncle of yours. Of course, you wouldn't touch that stolen election with a 10 hypodermic needle.]

The complete article, with Web-only citations, follows. For more, see exclusive documents, sources, charts and commentary

[And ouija boards, astrological charts, and divining rods.]

Like many Americans, I spent the evening of the 2004 election watching the returns on television and wondering how the exit polls, which predicted an overwhelming victory for John Kerry, had gotten it so wrong. By midnight, the official tallies showed a decisive lead for George Bush -- and the next day, lacking enough legal evidence to contest the results, Kerry conceded. Republicans derided anyone who expressed doubts about Bush's victory as nut cases in ''tinfoil hats,'' while the national media, with few exceptions, did little to question the validity of the election. The Washington Post immediately dismissed allegations of fraud as ''conspiracy theories,''(1) and The New York Times declared that ''there is no evidence of vote theft or errors on a large scale.''(2)

[Like most DUmmies you experienced the thrill of Freudenschade followed by a massive depression when the event you were celebrating didn't come true.]

But despite the media blackout, indications continued to emerge that something deeply troubling had taken place in 2004. Nearly half of the 6 million American voters living abroad(3) never received their ballots -- or received them too late to vote(4) -- after the Pentagon unaccountably shut down a state-of-the-art Web site used to file overseas registrations.(5) A consulting firm called Sproul & Associates, which was hired by the Republican National Committee to register voters in six battleground states,(6) was discovered shredding Democratic registrations.(7) In New Mexico, which was decided by 5,988 votes,(8) malfunctioning machines mysteriously failed to properly register a presidential vote on more than 20,000 ballots.(9) Nationwide, according to the federal commission charged with implementing election reforms, as many as 1 million ballots were spoiled by faulty voting equipment -- roughly one for every 100 cast.(10)

much more at:
ROLLING STONED

[Ho Hum! RFK Jr. translates the usual voter APATHY into a conspiracy. Sorry, Bobby, but the reason why folks fail to register to vote is because they DON'T WANT to vote. I also note the Democrats weren't very enthusiastic to count the overseas military ballots belonging to Florida in 2000.]

Thank you so much! Thank you Robert Kennedy Jr., thank you Rolling Stone, thank you BradBlog, and thank you, kpete.

[Thank you so much Robert Kennedy Jr., for validating our loony conspiracy theories!]

In what may be the single most astounding fact from the election, one in every four Ohio citizens who registered to vote in 2004 showed up at the polls only to discover that they were not listed on the rolls, thanks to GOP efforts to stem the unprecedented flood of Democrats eager to cast ballots. And that doesn?t even take into account the troubling evidence of outright fraud, which indicates that upwards of 80,000 votes for Kerry were counted instead for Bush. That alone is a swing of more than 160,000 votes -- enough to have put John Kerry in the White House.

[Indicates? So WHERE is the PROOF that 80,000 votes for Kerry were switched to Bush? The former heroin addict doesn't actually present any such evidence.]

There is a reason I call myself purgedvoter. I have been purged twice. I have heard 4 different excuses why. I have heard that I was fixed when I was not.

[I consider you an enemavoter.]

The Timing is Just Right

[For you DUmmies to have a ready made excuse if you lose this November.]

Exactly - they needed the public to understand the CORRUPTION of GOPs in Ohio and all over the country before an issue THIS HUGE could be DIGESTED.

[Revenge of the GOPranos.]

Keep in mind, Ohio was only one state. Florida, New Mexico come to mind... Kist because dear Bev muddied the waters about Florida so much that no decent person was able to look for anything, didn't make that result valid.

[Bev Harris is just $10 away from unmuddying the waters.]

It's funny that when places like DU are discussing issues like this two years ago, we're labeled as paranoid and conspiracy theorists. Then a couple years later, this stuff starts to become mainstream.

[Guess what? I STILL label you as paranoid and conspiracy theoriest. One unsubstantianted rant from a former heroin addict doesn't alter your status.]

I want the thieves to hang. They are so drenched in blood, they are almost invisible for the red.

[Please forgive me for not including "psychopathic" along with "paranoid" in my description above.]

The first page alone is absolutely damning! This is everything we've been screaming about and yelling about for years now. Of course, here we are in the same place we were in 2003. November is already upon us.

[And a former heroin addict has handed you a handy dandy excuse to feel victimized if you lose.]

How much longer will the politicos IGNORE THIS FREAKIN' ISSUE??? I wonder if Chris Dodd will look at the evoting issue as he did when Kerry wanted it investigated or made an issue?

[Chris Dodd? He is the other half of the Waitress Sandwich formed with Bobby's uncle.]

That despite all these allegtions and actual PROOFS, what are the penalties?

[Being forced to listen to RFK, Jr's annoying scratchy voice.]

Shouldn't Blackwell be in jail for subverting an election? It's crazy. No justice. No media. America is a runaway mess. It's difficult to stay rational around here.

[You've already lost that battle.]

On the evening of the vote, reporters at each of the major networks were briefed by pollsters at 7:54 p.m. Kerry, they were informed, had an insurmountable lead and would win by a rout: at least 309 electoral votes to Bush's 174, with fifty-five too close to call.(28) In London, Prime Minister Tony Blair went to bed contemplating his relationship with President-elect Kerry.

[While Susan Estrich guzzled down her Freudenschade Victory Champagne.]

Reading this brings it all back......I was intently watching the exit polls. I whooped for joy, turned off my laptop and headed to town to buy a bottle of good bubbly. I felt good about my campaign involvement since I had encouraged 4 young people to register to vote for their first time. I answered all their questions about the importance of this election to the best of my ability. I remember arriving back home with Scampi and champagne for two and that is when the "flip" happened. I was incredulous, nauseated,..... still am. bastards

[And this calls now for a pause so we can all sing the Freudenschade song to the tune of "Edelweiss" composed by the famous Tin Pan Alley Songmeister, Charles Henrickson. Follow the bouncing ball:]

Freudenschade, Freudenschade,
DUmmie joy bears repeating;
Pop champagne, feel no pain--
Only thing, it's so fleeting.

Make 'em eat crow and the gloom will grow,
Gloom will grow and sour.

Freudenschade shoots its wad
In less than twenty-four hours.

I did exactly the same thing Although I went and bought two bottles, heh, heh. And I got home, put on Air America, and all of a sudden, WHAM! I could practically pinpoint the moment that the switch happened. Funny how we we're both doing the same thing, huh? When it became clear that Kerry was going to lose, I knew right away what had happened, and I was so mad that I threw what was left of my champagne bottle across the room and it shattered on my fireplace. F*ckin' Bush. He's destroyed my country, the world's environment, Iraq, and now my champagne! Is there no end to this man's destruction?

[You should have saved that champagne bottle to celebrate Karl Rove's indictment on May 12. Freudenschade, baby!]

I know when Bush gave the signal to flip the election... It was when he held that bogus little press conference at about 10pm. I'm convinced that was the signal, because right after that, things turned.

[He gave a secret Skulls hand signal with one finger when he adjusted his tie. That was the signal to flip the election....and to flip you off.]

Well, there it is America. Laid out for all to see. An illegal election to reelect an already illegal president who started an illegal war.

[Of course we still haven't seen actual PROOF about how the election was stolen.]

blackwell is guilty of Electoral Treason, a crime which should be punishable by death.

[Ah! That psycopathy sinking in again.]

Stunning and Indisputable

[So indisputable that PROOF isn't even needed.]

Looks like others now joining the conspiracy nuts like us at DU. Validation feels good, but taking so long saddens and angers me.

[It feels so GOOD to find out that others are as NUttie as we are!]

Reading material for the bus!

[Reading material for the asylum!]

This all needs to be packaged in a much more consise way for the average Rolling Stone reader who at this point is thinking of anything BUT politics and voting.

[They are thinking of substance abuse and auditioning for the "Real World."]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies; election2004; moonbattery; robertkennedy; rollingstone
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Important announce regarding the DUFUs in a day or two. Don't worry it is a GOOD announcement.

Let me know if you want on the DUmmie FUnnies PING LIST.

1 posted on 06/01/2006 3:07:23 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
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To: Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; tje; ml1954; ...

PING!


2 posted on 06/01/2006 3:08:26 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

IATP!


3 posted on 06/01/2006 3:10:07 PM PDT by Xenalyte (There are some things money can't buy, like a dinosaur.)
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To: PJ-Comix

wow.... in the first ten again. I rock.


4 posted on 06/01/2006 3:10:09 PM PDT by Mercat (He's everywhere you are.)
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To: PJ-Comix

First after the ping?


5 posted on 06/01/2006 3:10:24 PM PDT by CFC__VRWC (AIDS, abortion, euthanasia - Don't liberals just kill ya?)
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To: PJ-Comix

Top 10!


6 posted on 06/01/2006 3:11:36 PM PDT by KoRn
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To: PJ-Comix

Oh I just knew they were going to go wild over this.


7 posted on 06/01/2006 3:11:54 PM PDT by Bahbah (The Dream Act...the latest nightmare to be brought to you by the US Senate)
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To: PJ-Comix

Top 10!!!


8 posted on 06/01/2006 3:11:55 PM PDT by RedRover
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To: PJ-Comix

Top 20.

IAP


9 posted on 06/01/2006 3:13:49 PM PDT by NathanR (Après moi, le deluge.)
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To: PJ-Comix

top 10


10 posted on 06/01/2006 3:14:12 PM PDT by OSHA (All the threads I'm pinged to end up in Chat.)
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To: Bahbah

Just think about what Keith Olberman and Chris Matthews are going to do over this.

On second thought, never mind. Some mental images are just too wrong.


11 posted on 06/01/2006 3:14:15 PM PDT by CFC__VRWC (AIDS, abortion, euthanasia - Don't liberals just kill ya?)
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To: PJ-Comix

Top 20?


12 posted on 06/01/2006 3:14:25 PM PDT by BeHoldAPaleHorse ( ~()):~)>)
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To: Bacon Man

Ping to remind you to subscribe!


13 posted on 06/01/2006 3:16:32 PM PDT by Xenalyte (There are some things money can't buy, like a dinosaur.)
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To: PJ-Comix
Important announce regarding the DUFUs in a day or two. Don't worry it is a GOOD announcement.

Intriguing....;^)

14 posted on 06/01/2006 3:18:53 PM PDT by prairiebreeze (WE REMEMBER AND ARE GRATEFUL TO OUR VETERANS!!)
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To: prairiebreeze

What happened to Charles? I saw that he was suspended. Hard to believe.


15 posted on 06/01/2006 3:19:45 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix
see exclusive documents, sources, charts and commentary

Jason Leopold, is that you?

16 posted on 06/01/2006 3:20:56 PM PDT by steve-b (Hoover Dam is every bit as "natural" as a beaver dam.)
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To: PJ-Comix

Top 20?


17 posted on 06/01/2006 3:25:34 PM PDT by freedumb2003 (I LIKE you! When I am Ruler of Earth, yours will be a quick and painless death </Stewie>)
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To: PJ-Comix

It's so much fun getting to relive their nutiness again. It feels like a glimpse into the future of November 2006. :o)


18 posted on 06/01/2006 3:28:06 PM PDT by samiam1972 (Live simply so that others may simply live!)
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To: PJ-Comix
"I have heard that I was fixed when I was not."

Well, go get yourself fixed for good, then - there are more than enough DUmmies around as it is.
19 posted on 06/01/2006 3:30:47 PM PDT by decal (Different Tagline Tomorrow!)
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To: PJ-Comix

Top 25!


20 posted on 06/01/2006 3:35:13 PM PDT by Mr. Silverback (Try Jesus--If you don't like Him, satan will always take you back.)
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