Posted on 01/09/2007 5:11:22 AM PST by PJ-Comix
The Democrats won both houses of Congress in November but the Left is still incredibly frustrated. Why? Because it looks like there WON'T be any impeachment of Bush. For one thing, the clock is working against impeachment since the Bush term has only two years to go. More importantly, the Senate doesn't have near the votes to convict. It takes a two thirds vote and even if Senator Johnson ever regains conciousness and every Democrat votes to convict, they still need 16 Republican votes. Of course the biggest impediment to impeachment is that you have to have an impeachable offense. Perjury is off the table since most of the liberal scholars a few years ago told us that perjury is NOT an impeachable offense. So what are the liberals left with to justify impeachment? Not much. However this has not discouraged the DUmmies. In fact, one intrepid boy DUmmie investigator believes he has found grounds for impeachment as you can see in this THREAD laughingly titled, "I did an investigation. Now we can impeach." So let us now watch this DUmmie investigator, joined by his fellow intrepid DUmmie investigators, dig up grounds for impeachment in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, visualizing DUmmies with magnifying glasses trying to find impeachment clues, is in the [brackets]:
I did an investigation. Now we can impeach.
[Oh goodie! That's all we were waiting for. Some DUmmie to dig up grounds for impeachment.]
According to U.S. District Judge Henry Floyd, Jose Padilla, a U.S. citizen, was illegally detained without charges for three years. A confession has been obtained from the perpetrator. The perpetrator is one George W. Bush.
[That's it? If you try to impeachment Bush on those grounds you insure that the Republicans retake the House and Senate in '08.]
Have you guys done any investigations? I'm working on another one.
[The DUmmie Hardy Boys jump into action.]
But that's a crime. Impeachment would be too good and take too long.
[Emphasis on "too long."]
Let's get us some Blackwater guys to go and snatch the perp and put him in one of those secret prisons he promised us he closed.
[A Wal-Mart detention center or a Halliburton concentration camp?]
I did another investigation. Now we can impeach.
[Oh goodie! What was the result of your other investigation?]
According to U.S. District Court Judge Anna Diggs Taylor, the National Security Agency illegally monitored Americans in violation of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act. A confession has been obtained from the perpetrator. The perpetrator is one George W. Bush.
[Oops! Impeach Bush on those grounds and you will also insure that the Republicans retake the White House by a landslide in '08.]
Have you guys done any investigations? I'm working on another one.
[It's so much FUn to pretend to be a DUmmie Hardy Boy.]
I think I'll do some investigating too.
[I wanna be a DUmmie Hardy Boy too!]
Three words: Downing Street Memo Three more words. Now we can Impeach.
[Three words: LOL!]
I did yet another investigation. Now we can impeach.
[You just can't keep a DUmmie Hardy Boy down.]
According to the Government Accountability Office, Americans have been the victims of an illegal propaganda campaign. A confession has been obtained from the perpetrator. The perpetrator is one George W. Bush.
[Yes, I'm sure the leftwing profs who claimed that perjury was not grounds for impeachment will approve of that one...whatever it means.]
Have you guys done any investigations? I'm working on another one.
[Spaketh the Energizer DUmmie Hardy Boy. It just keeps on ranting and ranting and...]
I did still another investigation. Now we can impeach.
[You just can't stop the Energizer DUmmie Hardy Boy.]
According to George W. Bush, one George W. Bush ordered one Richard Cheney to selectively release highly classified information in the interest of discrediting one Joseph Wilson. Bush's scheme led to the outing of a covert CIA operation. As indicated, a confession has been obtained from the perpetrator. As indicated, the perpetrator is one George W. Bush.
[MERRY FITZMAS!!!]
Have you guys done any other investigations? I'm working on another one.
[Redundancy can be quite catchy as well as contagious.]
we need one done on... 9/11/01! MIHOP!
[The Truther faction weighs in.]
Nifty. We can save Congress a bunch of time by doing these. What about Dick Cheney? Something about outting a covert CIA by the name of Valerie Plame. I knew we could do this without spending billions of dollars.
[Nifty! They don't even have to have Congressional investigations. Just check out the DUmmie board and send Bush straight to The Hague.]
Until all of the hard evidence is investigated and collected? Bush stays unimpeached!! and nothing will change this, no website, no hearsay nothing but sworn statements and hard verified evidence...
[KILLJOY!!!]
Now that the Investigations are complete it is time to Impeach Bush and Cheney.
[The DUmmie investigations are complete. IMPEACH NOW!!!]
More grounds for impeachment. Katrina murders. Signing statements
[Actually, those are grounds for your confinement at the Happy Farms Asylum.]
Nicknameless and I did an investigation. Now we can impeach.
[YIPPPPEEEEEEE!!!!!]
According to a report by the non-partisan Congressional Research Service, one George W. Bush is using signing statements to expand executive power to the detriment of Congress by means which are “generally unsupported by established legal principles.”
[And don't forget the jaywalking and overdue library book charges.]
Remember it takes 67 Senate votes to convict and you aren't going to get that w/Jose Padilla.
[Nor with any of the other "charges" cited here.]
When they took Padilla's rights, they took your rights.
[DAMN! They took away our right to become terrorists.]
Treason or Bribery are the standards..
[But NOT perjury. The leftwing profs asserted that very strongly.]
The entire length of his administration is one long impeachable offense. He only ascended to the position as the result of a coup.. carried out in broad daylight, with the complicity of the Supreme Court....
[And yet the impeachable "offenses" you listed here are the best you could come up with? Thanx for the laughs!]
His "Canadian Idiot" parody is currently my highest rated song on my iPod.
Both ears are now cleaned and both nostrils picked...
Oh, I have a raging clue right now.
That whole album is PERFECT! There is not one tune I skip over on it.
Have you guys done any investigations? I'm working on another one.
No, so far I've just sent in the two, "The Sandy Man" and "(Sittin' Where) The Documents Lay."
BTW, on Bennett's website I heard another clever one sent in by someone else, to the tune of "Mr. Sandman." That, and "(You Can't Hide) Your Bulging Thighs" are the two most clever I've heard so far from others.
"GARSH!"
ROTFLMAO!
Here's a few words for you: How'd that brain surgery do for you?
Not Too Good!!!
Three more words:
Learn to count!!! (at least to THREE!)
Blame that on Bill Gates, who gave us Windows, making computers "user friendly" (when it works...). I do have to wonder why it took DUmmies 15+ years to master Windows....
I have a feeling that each of these investigations was conducted by Google and the sources it referenced were Ben Burch and Will Rivers Pitt.
I have a feeling that the investigations were gestations of their empty craniums and pulled out of their behinds...
It must be so nice to live in DUmmy fantasy world shielded from the real world as severe BDS eventually leads to a "shut in" lifestyle.
It's easy. Move back into Mommy and Daddy's basement, have a Doctor declare you have some sort of "disability", get on public assistance, and have pizza delivered to your door 3 times a day....Never have to leave the basement.
(Really upscale DUmmies even have bathrooms and showers in their basements....)
That has to be the DUmmie quote of the week.
Listening to Bill Bennett now on streaming radio. He just played "Be My Baby" by Ronnie Spector and the Ronettes and suggested a Sandy Berger parody to that tune.
Quickly! Let's storm the White House with pitchforks and torches!
Actually, Weird Al has been at the parody game for well over 20 years. I'm sure he would understand far more than just the singing/songwriting/lyrics angle of the business. He also is a friend of Dr. Demento, who helped him get his start. Even if they didn't have direct knowledge, they might be able to point you in the right direction.
Yes, many of them actually do realize that. That's why some of them are suggesting a "two-fer" -- impeach BOTH Bush and Cheney. Now that they don't have to worry about the prospect of a President Hastert, some of them think they might actually end up with President Pelosi that way. (gag)
And of course, I wrote my Weird Al/Dr. Demento post before I read your post about having actually sat in on some Dr. Demento sessions. Never mind.
Loud Mime:
"I love the sound of "President Cheney." But that means that "President Pelosi" is on the horizon."
Purrcival:
"That's why some of them are suggesting a "two-fer" ...some of them think they might actually end up with President Pelosi that way. (gag)"
Cletus:
Actually, it is that "pesky Constitution" that is on the horizon. (1) Only 1 impeachment at a time and (2) The "new" POTUS choses his Vice-POTUS.
There is only one way for Pelosi to become POTUS in the next 2 years. I would explain it but I don't want to entertain a visit from the Secret Service.
Thanks for the ping!
Here's what I think some of the DUmmies feel about impeaching President Bush and Vice President Cheney:
IMPEACH TWO
(To the tune of "Midnight Blue" by Melissa Manchester)
Whatever it takes, it'll keep us a'dreamin'
It's not like we've got better things to do
Impeach Two
(Bush and you know who)
Even the dumbest things we make up
They'll never be enough
But I think we can make it
Two this time, if we try
One more time, for all the old times
Impeach Two
For all of the times we've hated their guts, see
Hating them now is something we can use,
Impeach Two
Wouldn't the world be better off then?
We can't wait to get revenge...
And I think we can make it
Two this time, if we try
Two Impeachments for all of the old, old times
Impeach Two...
I used to Love listening to Doctor D. Sometimes on a Sunday night, I would watch Doctor Who on Channel 11 from Chicago when the signal was good and then put on Doctor Demento as I went to bed.
If all doctors were like those two, there would be no health care problems.
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