DUmmie FUnnies 08-08-08 (DUmmies React To John Edwards Scandal Admission)

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | August 8, 2008 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

[Paul Heinzman]

I don't want to bring your DUFU down, but I'd like to ask Mr. John Edwards some questions. I doubt he's a lurker or a DUFU pingee, and I think these things called "Open Letters" are silly because why would a VIP read something from a nobody like me but here goes.

Dear John,

I made fun of your $400 haircuts and Pink Sapphire facials. It was all in good fun because real men don't usually do that sort of thing; for a real man ten bucks for a haircut is pretty steep and facial means something different to us. But being a real man is something more that that superficial crap.

What really makes a man a man is strength. Not physical or mental strength but moral strength. For those of us who live in the "other America" and don't want your Socialist help, it is the strength to get up in the morning and drive to work and drive home to our families and do that again and again and again.

For some of us, we come home to a wife who is exhausted, nauseated, devastated from having poison pumped into her veins to kill this vile disease. A wife so selfless that she's worried more about how YOU feel and how the KIDS feel than how SHE feels.

All right, answer me these questions:

When Elizabeth would get dressed in the morning and gasp for air afterwards, did that affect you?

Has hearing Elizabeth's gasping for air made you cry, just thinking about it?

When Elizabeth cried and said she had so much to tell her children but so little time, did that affect you?

Have you met Elizabeth's oncology nurses and see them as the angels that they are?

You don't have to answer those questions. If you ever did any one of them, you never would have cheated on her, you [I'm going to just type roughly the same number of letters that the trail of obscene epithets I want to throw at John Edwards. It's quite a lot. This is not just adultery; this is undue stress on Elizabeth, a cancer patient. This is a lot of letters; I don't think there are enough swear words in the English language to cover all these letter. We're going to need other languages for all the nasty names.]

[Incorrigible]

LOL!!! By George dead, you’ve done it again!

[PJ-Comix]

[JerseyDvl]

No Bill, there is a room full of people here that just did the same and also concur that they understand why you did. Schadenfreude my friend, DUmmies exist for us to laugh at.
Thanks PJ, this is a classic.

[Paul Heinzman]

She looks kinda cute in that pic. Silky Pony looks fabulous, as always.

[Purrcival]

My heart aches for Elizabeth, even though we agree about almost nothing. It’s hard for me to laugh at this, but it is interesting to see their reaction to their fallen hero.
There’s a pattern here. They’re finally seeing the Clintons the way we’ve seen them for 16 years, and now John Edwards...

[Purrcival]

OK, I give up. You got me, you made me laugh!

[Purrcival]

Oh, no...that is just wrong. :)

[Purrcival]

She looks just a little bit like Rexella Van Impe in that picture.

[Mr. Silverback]

Why didn’t any of these DUmmies say this stuff about Bill Clinton? I know DU didn’t exist then, but you know what I mean.

[Mr. Silverback]

Roscoe, you’re an FR treasure.

[Darkwolf377]

"Damn men and their penises."

They should just make this the new Democrat party motto.

[Mr. Silverback]

I wish Elizabeth would sue his candy ass into the "other America," but I suppose she's too nice for that.

If I were her, it's not how I'd want to spend my last few months.

[Mr. Silverback]

Dang, how does it not occur to them that they were saying that exact stuff about Edwards just a couple of months ago?

[libs_kma]

"Jesus. I bought his lie hook line and sinker."

A DUmmie believed the silky pony? Now there's a shocker.

[Mr. Silverback]

Excellent post.

[rdl6989]

AAAAAAAAARGH! Someone quick, I'm in need of an intervention. Doctor, please up my meds!

There's so much material there.

[beckysueb]

Great post, Paul!

[beckysueb]

Now if they would just wake up and see Obama for what he is.

[Arrowhead1952]

He just ruined his political career. The person I had originally hoped would be the next President just committed political suicide.

[Perhaps Will Pitt can now become his press secretary.]

Hey now. Didn't all you DUmmies say "It's only sex when X-42, the bent one, did the same thing?" He didn't commit political sucide, DUmmies all the world over praised him.