Posted on 11/30/2008 5:40:25 PM PST by Ge0ffrey
(ALBANY, NY) Sound the trumpets. Bang the drums. Forgotten upstate New York residents plan massive Bye Bye Bashes in anticipation of Hillary Clinton’s appointment as Secretary of State.
Numerous spontaneous grassroots celebrations have sprung up seemingly overnight after the news broke last week that president-elect Barack Obama might tap Hillary for a cabinet position in his new administration.
Although not official until tomorrow, Buffalo, upstate’s second largest city, plans a parade down Elmwood Avenue followed by fireworks over the Niagara River.
Meanwhile, Adirondack celebrants plan to ski a pumpkin-headed Hillary effigy off the high jump in Lake Placid’s Olympic Village. “I can’t wait to see the splat,” said Alfred Granger, a year-round Schroon Lake resident.
Even oft-forgotten and unincorporated villages like Hamlet in Chautauqua County plan a unique carpet bag bonfire Monday evening back of the Methodist Church and katty corner to the cemetery.
“We’ve scoured basements and attics for carpet bags,” said Doris Livingstone trying to suppress a smile. “Get it? Carpet bags,” she added, referring to the term used to identify northern politicians who moved south during Reconstruction after the Civil War.
Residents of Big Flats, a village near Elmira, have, as the centerpiece of their festivities, a stepping stone contest. Residents must run atop strategically placed slippery rocks across a tributary of the Chemung river. The fastest resident to successfully cross receives a symbolic boot in the behind from the county tax assessor.
“Hillary planned to revitalize upstate New York,” opined former Webster resident Daniel Stiptick. ‘She said she would help create 200,000 jobs but we’ve lost 20,000.”
“Unfortunately, she did do one thing,”. Stiptick added. “She helped turn upstate NY from red to blue, because most Republicans have moved elsewhere.” Stiptick now lives in Texas.
Canandaigua residents plan a Dying-on-the-Vine Party on Tuesday. Residents must either quickly run through a gauntlet of grapevine thrashing citizens or face stinging pain. No prizes will be awarded.
Hugo Chavez..... he’s a bit more conservative than her
Perfect choice for the commie nimrods in NY.
LOL
Anyone care to bet how many times you’ll hear about this in the media?? And that includes FOX, who just refused to renew E.D. Hill’s contract (after she single-handedly literally CREATED their morning show with her beauty).
Why do democrat politicians get elevated to such rock star status? What incredibly noteworthy achievements has hillary had while in office to merit such blind adoration?
The reference is to a play Mr. Rodriguez made in the 6th game of the 2004 ALCS Playoff against the Red Sox. In slapping the ball from the glove of the player attempting to tag him out, dear Alex made a somewhat effeminate gesture, which, for Red Sox Nation has earned him the nickname.
Then again, his recent dalliance with Madonna, given her recent marriage, can't be helping rid him of the moniker, can it?
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