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President Declares He Will Decide Who Can Earn a Profit and When
A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 30 Jan 2009 | John Semmens

Posted on 01/30/2009 11:01:17 PM PST by John Semmens

Inspired by anger over billions of dollars in bonuses handed out to Wall Street bankers for the last year’s largely dismal performance, President Obama declared that “now is not the time for these businesses to make a profit.”

In an unprecedented expansion of the concept of the president as the US “commander-in-chief,” Obama insisted that “in this time of economic crisis, my administration will make war on profiteering. As long as one person is without a job, those who are fortunate enough to be employed must not be allowed to take bonuses. As long as one business is in bankruptcy, those businesses enjoying a profit must sacrifice to spread the wealth around. We are all in this together. All must contribute to the good of the collective whole. As president, it is my job to see to it that all equitably share in the bounty produced by our economy.”

Obama’s position received support in congress. Senator Chris Dodd (D-Conn) demanded that the government “seize the bonus payments and excess profits of Wall Street” and add the money to the “stimulus” package now under debate in the senate. “These greedy profiteers must not be allowed to make decisions that are rightfully the prerogative of the people’s elected representatives,” Dodd argued. “This is the mandate for change voters demanded when they opted for the Democrats in November.”

Senator Claire McCaskill (D-Missouri) seconded Dodd’s remarks and introduced a bill that would cap the salaries that could be paid to anyone in America to no more than that made by the US President. “President is the most important job in the world,” she asserted. “No one should be more highly compensated than he is.”

To “avoid subterfuges,” McCaskill’s bill targets “total compensation.” “There will be no skirting the law by funneling pay into bonuses, capital gains, profit-sharing, or any of the other clever dodges used by corporations to elude taxes,” she vowed. “Income from any and all sources, for any and all persons will be capped at the amount we pay the president. It is the height of arrogance for anyone to expect more.”

The president’s current salary is $400,000 per year.

read more...

http://www.azconservative.org/Semmens1.htm


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: couldbetrue; democrats; economy; satire; socialism
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1 posted on 01/30/2009 11:01:18 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: 14erClimb; #1CTYankee; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; A message; abigailsmybaby; acapesket; afnamvet; ...

ping


2 posted on 01/30/2009 11:03:25 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

BTTT


3 posted on 01/30/2009 11:06:13 PM PST by Jet Jaguar
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To: John Semmens

This is from the Onion right?


4 posted on 01/30/2009 11:07:46 PM PST by Doofer
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To: Doofer

Never mind......hahaha


5 posted on 01/30/2009 11:08:29 PM PST by Doofer
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To: Doofer

Sadly no, with Bambi, reality is worse than the parody.


6 posted on 01/30/2009 11:08:45 PM PST by mnehring
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To: Doofer

OK, the quotes are real, but the editorial commentary along with it is satire.. it is so close to reality, it is hard to tell the difference any more..


7 posted on 01/30/2009 11:09:45 PM PST by mnehring
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To: John Semmens

Johnny boy, you are getting better and better by the day. Keep it up. Love the federal concentration camp “report’.


8 posted on 01/30/2009 11:14:48 PM PST by max americana
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To: John Semmens

I’ve said it before,and I’ll say it again.
“Let the Games begin!”


9 posted on 01/30/2009 11:15:33 PM PST by gigster
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To: John Semmens

Well, thats mighty white of him.


10 posted on 01/30/2009 11:20:39 PM PST by beckysueb (Palin/Jindahl in 2012)
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To: John Semmens
All must contribute to the good of the collective whole

You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.

11 posted on 01/30/2009 11:21:41 PM PST by cpdiii (roughneck, oilfield trash and proud of it, geologist, pilot, pharmacist, iconoclast.)
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To: John Semmens

You have been deleted


12 posted on 01/30/2009 11:24:25 PM PST by CIDKauf (No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.)
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To: John Semmens

Executive Order 10289?


13 posted on 01/30/2009 11:25:15 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (This election gave the drunks the keys to the liquor cabinet!)
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To: John Semmens

Ha, saw it before the ping. The titles get me every time ;)

Well done as always.


14 posted on 01/30/2009 11:26:26 PM PST by porter_knorr
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To: John Semmens

“in this time of economic crisis, my administration will make war on profiteering. As long as one person is without a job, those who are fortunate enough to be employed must not be allowed to take bonuses. As long as one business is in bankruptcy, those businesses enjoying a profit must sacrifice to spread the wealth around. We are all in this together. All must contribute to the good of the collective whole. As president, it is my job to see to it that all equitably share in the bounty produced by our economy.” (Barack Obama ???)


Okay, help all of us out. We know that a lot of satire is intended in this article, but is the quote above actual or not?

We heard by way of radio with our ouwn ears Mr. Obama say that now is not the time for bonuses and profits, but we did not hear the longer quote as I have placed above. Is it a real quote?

I already wrote to my representatives about what I actually heard on the radio, which was bad enough. But I am prepared no to write again to all of them if the longer quote is actual and accurate.

Please confirm or deny the longer quote. Thanks.


15 posted on 01/30/2009 11:26:39 PM PST by John Leland 1789
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To: John Semmens

The gall!!! Only wall street executives shold have the right to decide how billions of tax payers dollars should be distributed in bonus checks.

By the way did I mention that union workers make too much and that Engineers don’t deserve their inflated salaries and should be replaced by H1-B visa employees?


16 posted on 01/30/2009 11:32:45 PM PST by Tempest (Greed is putting money before PEOPLE.)
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To: John Semmens

His Own Words Prove Obama is a Commie. His aim is to destroy America’s free-enterprise capitalist system. If he succeeds, freedom will be dead in America and we will be the same as other sociaist nations like Britain, France, Germany and Canada. We cannot let that happen.


17 posted on 01/30/2009 11:33:38 PM PST by FFranco
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To: John Semmens

Satire is 18 billions dollars in bonuses paid for by tax dollars.


18 posted on 01/30/2009 11:34:39 PM PST by Tempest (Greed is putting money before PEOPLE.)
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To: John Semmens

Isn’t that why people are in business? To earn profits? To make their lives better. To be able to pay more taxes in order to support those who don’t?


19 posted on 01/30/2009 11:35:52 PM PST by rfreedom4u (Political correctness is a form of censorship!)
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To: John Semmens

Even though Caligula hasn’t said this, it isn’t because he probably hasn’t thought it. He likely feels it is too soon to actually say this. Caligula wants to decide who can make a profit and when and how much.


20 posted on 01/30/2009 11:48:29 PM PST by Jemian (PAM of JT ~~ If Roe v. Wade would have been 10 years earlier, Nobama would NEVER have been born)
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