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Bill Granting President Authority to Shutdown Internet Advances
A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 29 August 2009 | John Semmens

Posted on 08/29/2009 4:08:27 PM PDT by John Semmens

Legislation that would grant President Obama the authority to selectively shutdown Internet sites is advancing in the senate. The “Cybersecurity Act of 2009” would allow the President to “declare a cybersecurity emergency” relating to “non-governmental” computer networks and do whatever he feels is necessary to respond to the threat.

Author of the bill, Senator Jay Rockefeller (D-WV), declared that “recent events surrounding ‘town hall’ meetings on the President’s health care plan emphasize the need for this legislation. As we saw, access to the Internet enabled rightwing fanatics to quickly and inexpensively alert cadres of sympathizers who turned out to disrupt public forums held by members of congress to explain the plan. As a result, important reform of our health care system has been impeded.”

“If the President had been authorized to take preventive measures, these anti-government agitators could have been thwarted before they even got started,” Rockefeller added. “It’s clear that the Internet is too precious a resource for us to allow it to be abused by the enemies of change.”

The 55-page bill includes a provision restricting the operation of Internet services to “professionals” who would be licensed by the government. “The inept, the unwholesome, and the disloyal must not be allowed to continue to run rampant through the nation’s cyberspace,” Rockefeller said. “The Internet must be reserved for uses compatible with the needs of a progressive society. My bill will ensure that this happens.”

(Excerpt) Read more at azconserv1.wordpress.com ...


TOPICS: Computers/Internet; Government; Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: censorship; communistcoup; dissent; oppression; rockefeller; s773; satire
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1 posted on 08/29/2009 4:08:27 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: 14erClimb; #1CTYankee; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; A message; abigailsmybaby; acapesket; afnamvet; ...

ping


2 posted on 08/29/2009 4:09:14 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Don’t you usually post satire?


3 posted on 08/29/2009 4:09:57 PM PDT by cripplecreek (Seniors, the new shovel ready project under socialized medicine.)
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To: John Semmens

Talk about pissing on the First Amendment!!


4 posted on 08/29/2009 4:12:38 PM PDT by SatinDoll (NO Foreign Nationals as our President!!)
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To: John Semmens
Rockefeller said. “The Internet must be reserved for uses compatible with the needs of a progressive society. My bill will ensure that this happens.”

COMMUNISTS!!!

STALINISTS!!!

‘Progressive’ society my @$$....he must really think we are all pretty stupid using this buzz word for total state domination.

5 posted on 08/29/2009 4:13:43 PM PDT by Vaquero ("an armed society is a polite society" Robert A. Heinlein)
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To: John Semmens

Make my day, Obama. Shut down the internet, and we’ll see how much longer your Presidency lasts.


6 posted on 08/29/2009 4:13:55 PM PDT by Brilliant
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To: SatinDoll

Let’s see how the urinalists cover this effort.


7 posted on 08/29/2009 4:14:16 PM PDT by AmericanVictory (Should we be more like them or they more like we used to be?)
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To: John Semmens

bump


8 posted on 08/29/2009 4:14:25 PM PDT by smokingfrog (No man's life, liberty or property is safe while the legislature is in session. I AM JIM THOMPSON)
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To: John Semmens

A bill that’s only 55 pages? Now I know this is satire!


9 posted on 08/29/2009 4:15:51 PM PDT by Man50D (Fair Tax, you earn it, you keep it! FairTaxNation.com)
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To: John Semmens
“It’s clear that the Internet is too precious a resource for us to allow it to be abused by the enemies of change.”

Astounding. It's clear we must repeal the first amendment to achieve the goals of a progressive society.

What the hell kinds of goals are those????

10 posted on 08/29/2009 4:16:11 PM PDT by paulycy
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To: John Semmens

OH Duh!

it is semi-satire (whatever part of it is semi???)


11 posted on 08/29/2009 4:16:51 PM PDT by Vaquero ("an armed society is a polite society" Robert A. Heinlein)
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To: paulycy

OK, OK. I admit it.

I got sucked in.

This satire is WAY too believable.

(angry blush follows)


12 posted on 08/29/2009 4:17:31 PM PDT by paulycy
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To: Man50D

LOL


13 posted on 08/29/2009 4:21:42 PM PDT by cripplecreek (Seniors, the new shovel ready project under socialized medicine.)
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To: John Semmens

You had me for a second there. I got to the second paragraph and was hollering at the screen...then figured I better check the source...lol.

The thing is...there is probably more truth here than anyone would let on.


14 posted on 08/29/2009 4:23:12 PM PDT by moonpie57 ("Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity." MLK)
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To: John Semmens

Is it getting harder to do this?


15 posted on 08/29/2009 4:33:12 PM PDT by Excellence (Meet your new mother-in-law, the United States Government)
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To: Vaquero

Satire... however David Rockefeller, Jay’s Uncle is self proclaimed communist in his memoirs. DR is head of think tank at CFR....no surprise there...NWO.


16 posted on 08/29/2009 4:38:23 PM PDT by Kackikat (There is no such thing as a free lunch, because someone paid, somewhere.)
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To: Brilliant

This is about shutting down communication for conservatives during 2010 and 2012 elections. It is about keeping conservatives from organizing...like tea parties; Project 9/12 and rallies for election candidates. It’s true totalitarianism/fascist/dictatorship.
SINCE WHEN DOES THE USA OWN THE INTERNET?????
So there is more at work here than just private internet providers...what about those around world who communicate with USA citizens?
We had better stop this now...no other choice, and if we don’t kiss USA goodbye, and free republic.


17 posted on 08/29/2009 4:43:38 PM PDT by Kackikat (There is no such thing as a free lunch, because someone paid, somewhere.)
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To: John Semmens
"As a result, important reform socialist government takeover of our health care system has been impeded".

Fixed for accuracy.

18 posted on 08/29/2009 4:44:23 PM PDT by lowbridge
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To: moonpie57

This bill is about shutting down conservatives, so demrats can win in 2010 and 2012, it isn’t about cyber security at all...the gov’t can use The Tor Project for security if they are concerned.


19 posted on 08/29/2009 4:45:27 PM PDT by Kackikat (There is no such thing as a free lunch, because someone paid, somewhere.)
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To: John Semmens
I came so very close to posting the most vitriolic, nasty, swaney word flinging response of biblical proportions ever! I never would have been allow within 100 yards of an internet connection to be able to post on FR ever again!

Then right before I clicked on post, I thought, could this possibly be saterical?

Whew!

20 posted on 08/29/2009 4:46:01 PM PDT by sirchtruth (Gravity Of The Situation...)
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