Dennis Kucinich Announces Bid to Run for President…of Egypt

David Horowitz's NewsReal Blog ^ | February 7, 2011 | Fingers Malloy

[Walter Scott Hudson]

In an announcement that shocked political pundits from Cleveland to Cairo, Rep. Dennis Kucinich threw his hat into the ring in a bid to become the new President of Egypt. At a press conference underneath a rainbow near a pot of gold--Kucinich made the case for his campaign:

Look, I want to be the president of something. I ran for President of the United States, of the Dustin Diamond fan club and of our fantasy football league. I lost every race.

But this time I have an ace in the hole. Howard Dean agreed to be my running mate. Once we win this election and I am the Egyptian President, people will look to Egypt as the Cleveland of the Middle East.

During an emotional pitch at a press conference inside a Stuckey's restaurant in Dayton Ohio, Howard Dean pulled no punches:

Dennis and I are not only going to Suez, Tom Harkin. We're going to Taba and Luxor and Aswan and Girga. Then we are going to Helwan and Port Said and up the Nile to Cairo, to take back the Abdeen Palace...Yeah!!!

Kucinich went on to say that he is going to run on his pet issue--bringing the Fairness Doctrine to Egypt (note to Rachel Maddow, this is satire).

Right-wing talk radio dominates the airwaves in Cairo. It is filled with bile and it is the reason that there are riots in the streets. It must be balanced.

[spokeshave]

Hope he checked with Mrs. Kucinich first...it’s a pity to waste that eye candy under a burka.

[Bigh4u2]

Well, if for some reason she doesn’t want to go, she’s welcome to stay with me.

:0)

[katana]

There are plenty of people and things to choose from when compiling a list of what's "Most Embarrassing" about Cleveland. The recent sports histories of the Cavs, the Browns, and the Indians certainly come to mind. The (formerly) inflammable Cuyahoga River, mayors of the city whose hair (also) caught fire or proposed "Adopt a Trash Can" as a revenue generator, and so much more have for most of my lifetime made what passes for my hometown a guaranteed laugh punchline for three generations of comedians.

But Dennis, you are without doubt the biggest embarrassment for a city that lacks for nothing in creating hilarity and incredulity in the rest of America.