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School Boys May Be Expelled for Possession of Oregano
A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 19 March 2011 | John Semmens

Posted on 03/19/2011 5:03:17 PM PDT by John Semmens

Four boys at the Hickory Middle School in Chesapeake, Virginia were suspended and may be expelled for handling a baggie full of oregano at the school. The ill-fated prank was held to be “unacceptable mockery of the school’s ‘zero tolerance policy’” by the school administration.

“While oregano isn’t a banned substance, per se, I mean we use it home-ec classes, placing it in a small plastic bag and passing it to another student is the same thing a student would do if it were,” said Vice-Principal Jesse Twitman. “It’s an act of disrespect and defiance toward school authority. If there’s anything that the ‘zero tolerance’ policy is meant to achieve it is unwavering respect for authority by the students at this school.”

Twitman evinced indifference over the prospect that the accused students’ lives might be irreparably harmed by the contemplated disciplinary action. “If we make an example of these smart asses it may shock others into a more obedient frame of mind,” Twitman asserted. “The sacrifice of a few troublemakers is a small price to pay for the broader objective of bolstering the tools available to the proper authorities.”

read more...

http://azconserv1.wordpress.com/2011/03/19/omb-nominee-explains-obama-strategy-on-debt/


TOPICS: Education; Government; Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: authority; educrats; satire; zerotolerance
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1 posted on 03/19/2011 5:03:21 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

Oregano is bad MMkay


2 posted on 03/19/2011 5:06:14 PM PDT by 3rdcoastislander
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To: John Semmens
The ill-fated prank was held to be “unacceptable mockery of the school’s ‘zero tolerance policy’” by the school administration.

Many zero tolerance policies are administered as zero sense policies and deserve to be mocked.

3 posted on 03/19/2011 5:06:54 PM PDT by poindexters brother
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To: John Semmens

Its called detention...

dont they do that any more...


4 posted on 03/19/2011 5:07:05 PM PDT by Tennessee Nana
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To: John Semmens

Ah, satire. Glad I glanced at the link source before I embarrased myself!


5 posted on 03/19/2011 5:07:35 PM PDT by saganite (What happens to taglines? Is there a termination date?)
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To: John Semmens

Glad I check your handle before I posted. You got me again.

You are a bad man!


6 posted on 03/19/2011 5:10:51 PM PDT by hattend (Obama got his 3am call about Egypt. The call went right to the answering machine.- Sarah Palin)
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To: John Semmens

I hear oregano is a gateway drug for basil and eventually summer savoury.


7 posted on 03/19/2011 5:11:36 PM PDT by RansomOttawa (tm)
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To: RansomOttawa
I hear oregano is a gateway drug for basil and eventually summer savoury.

And then the really hard stuff, like placebos.

8 posted on 03/19/2011 5:12:50 PM PDT by dfwgator
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To: RansomOttawa

I fear for Rosemary.


9 posted on 03/19/2011 5:13:48 PM PDT by bigheadfred (THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE HAS BEGUN)
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To: John Semmens

In Virginia, any substance that is packaged and intended to look like an illegal substance (such a oregano for pot) is treated as if the drug itself was present.

From the news report, the boys packaged the herb and told their friends it was pot, therefore, whatever the penalty is for pot, will be the same for this.


10 posted on 03/19/2011 5:15:47 PM PDT by SoftballMominVA
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To: John Semmens

11 posted on 03/19/2011 5:16:27 PM PDT by Tax-chick (Nadie me ama como Jesus.)
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To: John Semmens
12 DE Reg. 781 (12/01/08) 2.0 The Following Definitions Shall Apply to This Policy and Will be Used in All District and Charter School Policies "Look Alike Substance" shall mean any noncontrolled substance which is packaged so as to appear to be, or about which a student makes an express or implied representation that the substance is, a drug or a noncontrolled substance capable of producing a change in behavior or altering a state of mind or feeling. See 16 Del.C. §4752A.

Delaware, home of the Bearded Marxist, is not amused. The satire site appears to have plagiarized DE's real policy in order to mock the absurdity of zero tolerance. I'm sure regulators in DE and other states will not tolerate this mocking.

12 posted on 03/19/2011 5:17:29 PM PDT by Pollster1 (Natural born citizen of the USA, with the birth certificate to prove it)
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To: John Semmens

Oregon?


13 posted on 03/19/2011 5:20:28 PM PDT by Revolting cat! (Let us prey!)
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To: John Semmens
.......said Vice-Principal Jesse Twitman. “It’s an act of disrespect and defiance toward school authority. If there’s anything that the ‘zero tolerance’ policy is meant to achieve it is unwavering respect for authority by the students at this school.”

I understand by seeing the link posted that this is meant to be satire........
Saddly......
On certain threads we read here at FR........
We all know the "PC" crowd is out of control....

It's just "too true to be good".....
To borrow a phrase........

14 posted on 03/19/2011 5:21:53 PM PDT by Fiddlstix (Warning! This Is A Subliminal Tagline! Read it at your own risk!(Presented by TagLines R US))
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To: John Semmens

fight it boys, this not right, half the teachers and school board smoke dope probably..


15 posted on 03/19/2011 5:23:18 PM PDT by aces
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To: John Semmens

mockery is not illegal, if there is no basis the schoolboard would be liable, fight it boys..


16 posted on 03/19/2011 5:25:16 PM PDT by aces
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To: John Semmens

ok ya got me..


17 posted on 03/19/2011 5:26:40 PM PDT by aces
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To: #1CTYankee; 12Gauge687; 14erClimb; 21twelve; 2nd Bn, 11th Mar; 2ndDivisionVet; 3D-JOY; A message; ..

ping


18 posted on 03/19/2011 5:28:43 PM PDT by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens
Vice-Principal Jesse Twitman

Twitman. Says it all. I wonder if making fun of his name falls under "unacceptable mockery".

19 posted on 03/19/2011 5:29:46 PM PDT by 6SJ7 (atlasShruggedInd = TRUE)
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To: 6SJ7

Satire. Mockery. It’s so hard to tell what stories are real and what are satire nowadays.


20 posted on 03/19/2011 5:32:16 PM PDT by 6SJ7 (atlasShruggedInd = TRUE)
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