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DUmmie FUnnies 07-17-11 ("I'm very close to breaking up with my man because of Republicans")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | July 17, 2011 | DUmmie Sarah Ibarruri, DUmmies, and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 07/17/2011 6:18:06 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson

Politics makes for strange bedfellows. And politics can also make for *estranged* bedfellows, when the fellow is a Rethuglican and you're a DUmmie. Such is the case for DUmmie Sarah Ibarruri, who is thisclose to breaking up with her boyfriend, the right-winger. By her own account, Sarah's beau is a nice guy, and he treats her just fine, but he IS a Rethug, and that is driving DUmmie Sarah NUts! So instead of Dear Abby, Sarah resorts to Dear DUmmie for advice, as we see in this THREAD, "I'm very close to breaking up with my man because of Republicans."

So let us now join DUmmie Sarah Ibarruri for this edition of "Dear DUmmie," in Roses Are Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, thinking maybe Sarah should contact Mary Matalin for advice on politically mixed marriages (and to get a book deal for PJ), is in the [brackets]:

I'm very close to breaking up with my man because of Republicans

[WHAT are they doing NOW, those d*mn Rethugs?! Interfering with a poor woman's romance! D*MN them!]

The man I've been seeing is a right winger.

[Oh wait! Your fella IS a Rethug! Now I get you! But, but . . . how?? How in the WORLD could you possibly be going out with a Rethuglican?? ICK!]

Yeah, I know. I almost wear a sign on me that says, "If you're a right winger, get the F*** away,"

[DUmmie Sarah ALMOST wears a sign that says that. Instead, she opted for a tattoo. Big bold letters, across her cleavage.]

and yet here I am, dating a right winger. He's not as right wing as some of these a**holes, like Boehner, or Cantor, but he's right wing nonetheless.

[So I take it he's a right winger.]

He doesn't argue with me, and I rave and froth at the mouth with hatred for the GOPigs, but he's patient and caring.

[So maybe the question ought to be, How can HE be going out with YOU? You must have some impressive . . . attributes.]

But I'm reaching the end of my patience. I simply CANNOT, CANNOT endure being with someone who even remotely agrees with these sh*theads who have taken our country down a path to second world nation for the past 31 years. I am growing more and more angry with my guy, and I've nearly gotten to the point at which I'm ready to call it quits.

[He's patient and caring, and he treats me nice, but HE DOESN'T WANT TO RAISE TAXES ON THE RICH! THAT'S IT! WE. ARE. OVER!!!]

Right now I'm livid and cannot talk to him. He makes me sick.

[I believe the beloved be livid! Now let's see if the DUmmies have any advice for the lividlorn . . .]

I'm available.

[DUmmie zappaman is first in line! He senses a new prog babe coming on the market.]

Never seen a Fox News show in my life. And never hated a politician like I hated GWB and puppetmaster Cheney...

[Welcome to dHarmony®! Boys, start listing your qualifications. (Maybe some of you gals, too. This is DUmmieland, after all.)]

I agree on GW Bush and Cheney. How does Cheney remain alive? Is he bionic? His heart must look like a frikkin' oil rag, it's been so sewn up, taken apart, then sewn up again. Freaks, both of them.

[The mention of mutual hates gets Sarah in a romantic mood. She and zappaman start flirting . . .]

Cheney is either inhuman or can afford the kind of health care most of us just fantasize about. I can't wait to dance on his grave and if that makes me a bad person, so be it.

[Oooh, you big bad liberal man! Talk like that turns me on!]

He doesn't deserve to breathe.

[Sarah is now in the "foreplay" stage.]

Cheney is Undead. His Kind Cannot Die.

[DUmmie AndyTiedye butts in, trying to sound even more anti-rethug than zappaman. This is like two rams fighting over a cute girl sheep.]

Maybe he's walking around some cemetery at night.

[Sarah now flirts with Andy.]

Dump the MoFo.

[DUmmie cherokeeprogressive advises Sarah to DUmp the Mooselini Follower!]

Oh believe me, I'm about this ready to! I told him yesterday that I think he's concealing his true nature and pretending to be nice, when in actuality he's a first-class a**hole because, how could anyone be such a d**k as to wish ill on the least able, and think redistribution of wealth towards the top is just the coolest thing. He can't understand why I'm so F angry at him. Is he NUTS, or just pretending he doesn't get this? He thinks because he's nice to me, it's all fine. It isn't.

[Get a prog boy! He may treat you like sh*t, he may mooch off your money, and he may be lacking in male secondary sexual characteristics, but at least he'll vote right! Left, I mean!]

I just can't get over it. He's nice to me, and holds views that make me sick.

[I think you just can't help being attracted to a real manly man, Sarah, and it's driving you CRAZY! Your head says one thing, but your heart and hormones say another!]

I once read that Adolph Hitler was absolutely wonderful to Eva Braun and to his dogs, but that doesn't mean Adolph Hitler didn't have evil views and heinous intentions about the rest of the world. I told my boyfriend that. He didn't find it amusing.

[I can't imagine why.]

I dated a man once who was nice to me, but kind of dickish or very dickish to some other people, though never when in my presence. . . . But dickishness will out. Eventually a dick will be a dick to you, too.

[You dated Dick Cheney?? And lived to tell about it??]

On the other hand, I have many relatives who are geneuinely wonderful people in almost every way--except that they are real Republicans. They . . . have always been very religious--and very Republican.

[EWWW!!! DOUBLE ICK!]

I dated a woman who is now a republican. I don't get it. Black, disabled, homeless, lesbian, and republican.

[A Caucus of One.]

He sounds like a nice guy. If you're ranting and raving at him, give him a break and get rid of him. It doesn't sound like he deserves to be ranted and raved at.

[DUmmie Yupster, YOU get the Kewpie Doll!]

These days when someone says they are a republican I look at them like they have 3 heads.

[Three heads are better than one.]

It's now literally making me nauseous to think of my guy's opinions.

[That's why they call us Repukes!]

Move on and let the guy live a nag free life....

[Sorry, only one Kewpie Doll per thread.]

I lasted 9 months with a RW...Deal breaker was..."umm, There's a question about Obama's Birth Certificate"...after that I kicked him to the curb...

[No marriage certificate for you!]

Oh my GOD. See? The minute I hear my guy say stupid sh*t like that, I swear to you, I feel like kicking him to the curb. I automatically ask him things like, "You can't be this stupid, can you?" Then he gets hurt.

[Sarah, this guy of yours must have the patience of Job! Or else your assets must be VERY impressive!]

I've had many first date, last dates over this exact issue. I make sure the topic of politics comes up right away so I can find out where they stand on issues.

["Hi, I'm DUmmie Annette. Where do you stand on the debt ceiling?"]

I really wish and hope that I will one day meet a good and decent democratic gentleman. Maybe if I could get out of Tennessee. . . .

[Not so fast! I know of a certain recently-single-again PROMINENT Tennessee Democrat! BTW, what size is your carbon footprint?]

My friend, think long and hard.

[Annette, I think that is precisely what Sarah wants!]

Yes, but where are these lib guys? That's the reason I ended up with a Republican...I couldn't meet any lib guys. Of course, I live in Florida.

[Sarah punched Al Gore and ended up with Pat Buchanan!]

(sigh) We need a LIB dating website big time!

[$kimmer, DUAC Earl, are you listening? There's a niche, now fill it!]

not a lib site per se but one that pitched itself as matching progressives with each other. . . . I gave a high weight to geographic proximity (I don't have a car), but some of my suggested matches were hundreds of miles away.

[No, friends, this was NOT the famous carless and dateless DUmmie stevenumbers who wrote this post, but ANOTHER DUmmie looser without wheels, DUmmie Jim "Life in the Fast" Lane. . . . Now back to DUmmie Sarah talking about her guy . . .]

I actually told him once that his I.Q. must be very low if he talks as if he were an idiot. Aside from this situation, he's very good to me, he's cute, generous, kind, loves my family, is interesting, loves to travel, lots of things.

[But ALL THAT is overshadowed by his belief that it's wrong for the government to take people's wealth away from them and give it to others! What a MONSTER!]

Repigs have taken the U.S. from 1st world to 2nd world nation status. And I will not forgive them, and more importantly, I see them as needing to shut the f*** up, beg forgiveness and just die. How can I possibly remain with someone who thinks this way, when all I'm feeling about his way of thinking, is hatred? I'm incredibly frustrated and confused.

[That's it, Sarah, tell your boyfriend to shut the f*** up and JUST DIE! Look, having Mr. Right Wingo as your boyfriend at least gives you someone to vent on! You can make this work, honey!]

he looks good, is nice, very romantic, very funny, very nice, and he says he loves me.

[And you get someone to rage and rant at in the bargain! What's not to like?]

I'm actually surprised he hasn't kicked HER to the curb.

[And THERE is the great mystery of this thread!]

He's very nice to me, and very handsome, and very intelligent. He's a complete idiot with regard to his outlook on life and I make him suffer for it every day.

[A match made in purgatory!]

How's the sex, though?

[Finally we get to it. . . .]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies
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To: Charles Henrickson

Oh cool! for some reason that thread really irritated me LOL.


21 posted on 07/17/2011 6:37:48 PM PDT by Ballygrl
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To: Charles Henrickson
he's patient and caring... He makes me sick.

Two out of three ain't bad.

22 posted on 07/17/2011 6:40:45 PM PDT by Roscoe Karns
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To: Charles Henrickson
I once read that Adolph Hitler was absolutely wonderful to Eva Braun and to his dogs, but that doesn't mean Adolph Hitler didn't have evil views and heinous intentions about the rest of the world. I told my boyfriend that. He didn't find it amusing.

Well Moronica, was Hitler a big fan of the US Constitution? Are you implying that Hitler loved a small unobtrusive government, with freedom and liberty for all, like a conservative Republican?

Hitler was a socialist...just like your filthy ilk.

23 posted on 07/17/2011 6:42:07 PM PDT by ROCKLOBSTER (I love the smell of burning Hope & Change in the morning.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
I dated a woman who is now a republican. I don't get it. Black, disabled, homeless, lesbian, and republican.

Dude! How could you let a prize like that slip away?!!
24 posted on 07/17/2011 6:43:36 PM PDT by rockrr (Everything is different now...)
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To: Charles Henrickson

That’s one of the strangest things I’ve seen in a while, Pastor....


25 posted on 07/17/2011 6:49:06 PM PDT by Cyber Liberty (Oh, well, any excuse to buy a new gun is good enough for me.)
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To: berdie
Liberal "man" is an oxymoron. Real men aren't panty-waisted whiny bitches who cry for mommy government to come take care of them.

And I loved the comment about the republicans taking us from 1st world to 2nd world status. "2nd world" used to refer to the Soviet Union and its satellite nations. I'd say that Obama is definitely heading us toward that direction.

26 posted on 07/17/2011 6:49:14 PM PDT by boop ("Let's just say they'll be satisfied with LESS"... Ming the Merciless)
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To: rockrr

Hmmmm..could be a Dudette...not a Dude. :)


27 posted on 07/17/2011 6:54:50 PM PDT by berdie
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To: Charles Henrickson
Alright, which one of you is the Ultimate Freeper Troll!?

Oh, and see this...

I dated a woman who is now a republican. I don't get it. Black, disabled, homeless, lesbian, and republican.

I know for a fact that a lot of Lesbians are otherwise pretty conservative. Unfortunately, they tend to be One Issue Voters, and you can imagine what that means...

28 posted on 07/17/2011 6:56:13 PM PDT by Paradox (Obnoxious, Bumbling, Absurd, Maladroit, Assinine)
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To: berdie

True dat....but not nearly as ironic ;-)


29 posted on 07/17/2011 6:58:46 PM PDT by rockrr (Everything is different now...)
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To: Charles Henrickson

The guy ought to count his blessings that he’s getting away from this lib witch and find a really good woman. Sheesh.


30 posted on 07/17/2011 7:11:42 PM PDT by prairiebreeze
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To: Charles Henrickson
Yes, but where are these lib guys? That's the reason I ended up with a Republican...I couldn't meet any lib guys. Of course, I live in Florida.

The vast majority of Liberal men are either Gay, or p*ssies. Women don't like these types of guys.

31 posted on 07/17/2011 7:13:13 PM PDT by Paradox (Obnoxious, Bumbling, Absurd, Maladroit, Assinine)
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To: rockrr
Someone with clear vision!

cwydro:
Response to Original message 256. I am beginning to think this thread is a hoax.

You say he makes you sick, disgusts you, his IQ must be low, he must be an idiot....and on and on.

Why would you post a thread to ask what to do? Don't you know what you should do?

Why continue to abuse a man who (except for his political views) is a nice man and excoriate him on a public site?

I think you have some real issues yourself.

This is a free country and everyone has a right to an opinion and NO ONE should be pressured into believing something they don't.

I have checked in and out of this thread as I went about my business today and really, I have to tell you that I find it horrifying.

No one should verbally abuse another the way you say you are doing with him. He must have issues too if he allows it. Very sad, very sad.

Good luck to you.

32 posted on 07/17/2011 7:14:59 PM PDT by Dubh_Ghlase (Therefore, send not to know For whom the bell tolls, It tolls for thee.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

“...taken our country down a path to second world nation for the past 31 years...”

Interesting that, given that “second world” was the term given to the soviet bloc.


33 posted on 07/17/2011 7:53:04 PM PDT by Moose Burger
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To: Charles Henrickson

What is most telling is that in a backhanded way she’s admitting that the only decent men are conservatives. There may be hope for her yet if she makes the mental connection.


34 posted on 07/17/2011 8:02:29 PM PDT by Squawk 8888 (Tories in- mission accomplished)
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To: Charles Henrickson

P.S. that is cause to include her in my prayers.


35 posted on 07/17/2011 8:03:26 PM PDT by Squawk 8888 (Tories in- mission accomplished)
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To: ROCKLOBSTER

The things I’ve read about the Hitler/Braun relationship would curl your hair. Sounds like she never heard the truth.


36 posted on 07/17/2011 8:05:47 PM PDT by Squawk 8888 (Tories in- mission accomplished)
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To: Charles Henrickson

The boyfriend probably dislikes her just as much and is using her for sex...at least I hope so. I can’t wait for the sequel post after he dumps her.


37 posted on 07/17/2011 8:08:19 PM PDT by matt1234 (ObamaCare: Killing mommies for commies.)
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To: Paradox

I know what you mean. My dearest, closest friend is a lesbian who shares most of my views about personal responsibility but always votes for the (socialist) NDP.


38 posted on 07/17/2011 8:08:19 PM PDT by Squawk 8888 (Tories in- mission accomplished)
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To: Charles Henrickson
He doesn't argue with me, and I rave and froth at the mouth with hatred for the GOPigs, but he's patient and caring.

She must be GREAT in bed because why else would he stay with her?

She shouldn't worry, the relationship will be over in a year or less.

39 posted on 07/17/2011 8:08:38 PM PDT by hattend (Its a matter of public record that I did not go to Harvard Law School, but I can add. - Sarah Palin)
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To: rockrr

Or as dramatic.

The drama, the drama, the drama!!!


40 posted on 07/17/2011 8:10:33 PM PDT by berdie
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