Posted on 11/08/2011 2:35:10 PM PST by Absolutely Nobama
In an alternate universe........
President Paul entered the White House Situation Room in a huff. It was about 4pm, and he was cranky. Everyone knew not to disturb President Paul during Judge Judy, but this was a national security emergency. The CIA now had definitive proof that the Islamic Republic of Iran had placed intercontinental ballistic missiles in Venezuela.
"Mr. President," began Major General Major, the Commandant of the Marine Corps and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. "The Iranians have placed ICBM's on the northern coast of Venezuela. We're not sure about the capabilities of these weapons of mass destruction, but we have confirmation that they could reach Miami if launched. I recommend we strike now. We can scramble the bombers immediately."
President Paul smiled kindly at Major General Major. He forgot all about having his Judge Judy time interrupted and his mind wandered back to how much fun he and the media had after Major General James Major became Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. "Major General Major....has a ring to it...." President Paul said to himself softly.
"Sir ?'
"Back off, fascist!" Chief of Staff Lew Rockwell screamed at the decorated war hero. "Can't you see a great man is thinking ?!"
"Enhance your calm, Lew," said Vice President Dennis Kucinich in a kindly voice."That yelling and screaming stuff was okay when the Zionists ran the place, but the White House is a place of understanding now. It's a place where we exchange ideas and hope, not hate and animosity."
"You're right, Mr. Vice President. I don't know what came over me."
President Paul looked over to his Secretary of Defense, Jesse Ventura. "What's going on here, Jesse ?"
"I dunno, Mr. President", shrugged Ventura. "I've been trying to get a hold of National Security Advisor [Alex] Jones all day. I know he's very busy with his fourth 9/11 investigation, but why this guy can't answer a text is beyond me."
Secretary of State Pat Buchanan stood up from his chair. "Mr. President, If I may," the old paleoconservative began. "You must live up to your promise not to interfere in the affairs of other states. Remember that stump speech you made at 'Occupy Wall Street' ? Remember how you promised to end all war and bring peace to mankind ? You must make good on that pledge. Those kids in the tents are counting on you."
President Paul smiled. Mentions of "Occupy Wall Street" always made him happy. "You're right, Pat. You're always right. Even when you're wrong, you're right. This a much-to-do-over-nothing. We can't be sure if the CIA is right. After all, those are violent people, and we all know that violent people are never right. Get on the horn, Pat. Ask Hugo nicely to remove the missiles if it all possible. If they don't, well, that's ok. Both Iran and Venezuela know that this is a different America now. They would never harm us. We're a good, non-imperialist country now."
President Paul turned to the nearest door to leave.
"No, no....Mr. President, that's a closet," Vice President Kucinich said putting his hand on the President's shoulder. "Lew, help me get him to bed. Why we have these meetings so late in the day is beyond me."
Two weeks later, the city of Miami was destroyed by Iranian made ICBMs launched from Venezuela's northern coast.
Sore Loser laws don’t apply to Presidential candidates.
Yes, a bunch of Islamo-Nazis that our state department openly allowed into the country. Spare me the bombast about “defending the country”. Even Obama has been fairly successful as killing off Al Qaeda. He can screw the country over in plenty of other ways. But you’re playing into his hands.
Good luck to you and your fiction writing. I’ll stick with the non-fiction.
“I’m not lying, I’m writing fiction with my mouth.” ~ Homer Simpson
I think the problem that resulted in 9-11 was even more mundane that you imply. The Associate Attorney General promulgated rules for the CIA to not interface with the FBI, in order to protect the privacy of persons in the U.S. Because of this wall of separation, intelligence that we had was not acted upon by the FBI. Imagine how differently the century might have been if Bush didn’t go down the rabbit hole that Iraq turned out to be? But, my goodness, 9-11 turned everything around. Where he and Condi Rice had made it clear, in 2000, that we should avoid getting involved in nation-building, there we were, just a few years later, trying to re-construct two nations, one of which never was a nation in the first place.
Might I suggest Gary Johnson, at least if he becomes the next anti-Romney?
Jesse Ventura is a 9/11 Truther. Pat Buchanan makes a living trashing Consrevatives and Republicans on PMSNBC and also pals around with Holocaust deniers. Not only that, Pitchfork Pat also served in the Nixon administration that gave us the EPA. RuPaul has said in the past that he would consider putting Dennis the Red Menace in a cabinet position.
Other than those little whoopsies, they’re fine gentlemen.
I like Gary Johnson. I’m not crazy about his foreign policy ideas (too similiar to Ru’s), but I could go along with that if Herman Cain, Michele Bachmann, Rick Santorum, and Newt Gingrich drop out of the race.
Unlike RuPaul, he has had a track record of success.
I like Gary Johnson. I’m not crazy about his foreign policy ideas (too similiar to Ru’s), but I could go along with that if Herman Cain, Michele Bachmann, Rick Santorum, and Newt Gingrich drop out of the race.
Unlike RuPaul, he has a track record of success.
Ping!
I think defending the country is government’s most important task. No, that’s not playing into Barry’s hands, that’s the reality of the world we live in.
Hah-hah! Just returning the favorite insult.
FYI: The Constitution is under attack.
If you're not defending it, you're part of the problem.
Fair enough.
I can dish it and take it, unlike some.
As they say, oh, wait!
“So, ask yourself. Which candidate is going to swing the pendulum away from these things hard enough and fast enough to actually make any difference to the outcome?”
Herman Cain, Michele Bachmann, Rick Santorum, and Newt Gingrich would certainly do that. Even Gary Johnson would do that. (FYI-—Not that I’m a supporter of his, by Johnson did set a record for vetoes by a New Mexico governor.)
Exactly what has RuPaul done to deserve this kind hero-worship ? Wrote a few books ? Had some stirring speeches ? Like Chairman Obama was in 2008, he’s a pre accomplishment candidate.
In his 50,000 years in Congress, exactly what can he hang his hat on ? What legislation did he sponsor to kill ANY government program ? All Paul is a bureaucrat who sold t-shirts along the way. That’s it.
“FYI: The Constitution is under attack.”
By career politicians like RuPaul, absolutely.
“If you’re not defending it, you’re part of the problem.”
Actually, I am defending it from losers and phonies like RuPaul. I am doing my best to make sure he NEVER steps foot in the White House unless he’s a guest of either Michele Bachmann, Rick Santorum, Herman Cain, or Newt Gingrich.
(BTW, the kids who VOLUNTEER to go to Iraq and Afghanistan are doing far more to defend the Constitution than RuPaul is.)
No argument there, but RuPaul in the White House comes in a fairly close second.
Seriously Nobama, I know you don't like Ron Paul, and I know there are some very good reasons why (he has some decidedly dodgy opinions on some subjects, and the personality cult dimension of some of his fanatical supporters is very disturbing) but really, it isn't on to condemn him for what you think he's like. I would suggest you confine your satire to his actual statements. I'm sure you will find more than enough juicy material there! :)
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