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Imagine if Biblical events were to happen in the age of television . . .
Yours truly ^ | 5 January 2012 | Yours truly

Posted on 01/05/2012 2:16:14 AM PST by BluesDuke

An acquaintance on another forum (not a political forum) pondered whether believing that man walked on the moon was faith-based. I told my acquaintance that I didn't exactly need faith to believe it, I had seen the coverage on live television in the summer of 1969 (our summer camp's director made an event out of it, rounding everyone to the camp canteen to see it, even though it was way past our bedtimes!), not to mention having seen, in the years to follow, other footages (including Alan Shepard's rather Chaplinesque attempt to play golf on the moon surface) and written recollections by the men who made the journey.

But that got me to thinking. What if some of the events of Biblical times were to have occurred in the age of television? I had told my acquaintance that, although the Jewish man in me thinks it might have been awe-inspiring to see them as they happened, the sad side is that in today's world I couldn't help but think that there would be big problems getting anyone to cover those events. Even if program directors or news directors had been pitched in advance about, say, the Ark, Sodom and Gomorrah, the would-be sacrifice of Isaac, the revelation of Joseph, the parting of the Red Sea, the battle of Jericho, or the destruction of the Philistines' temple, by Noah, Lot, Abraham, Jacob or his eleven other kids, Moses and Aaron, Joshua, or Bedan (the Judge whom Samuel cited re the story of Samson) themselves, to name a few.

Oh, brother, I can hear those news or program directors now . . .

. . . Sorry, No old boy, but you bring us that clearance from the ASPCA or it's no dice for you and your maritime zoo! And you'd better have that wood cleared under the Lacey Act before you even think about building that big fat rowboat on our network!

. . . Lemme have what you're smoking, Lot, I wanna get loaded too---you crazy, man, I'm sorry about your wife, I'm sure she was a nice lady, but if we put that on our network who's gonna bail us out for abetting the L.A. arsonist?!?

. . . Abe, old man, are you under the influence of Alzheimer's or something? We put that on our network and we got Child Protective Services all over our asses!

. . . Jake, my man, you name me one Jew who ever got across the moat alive at the Egyptian goombah's joint, never mind getting himself named the high priest!!

. . . Come on, Mo, what's this joyful noise chazerei, we already have an overload of gospel programming as it is!!! And where's the damn environmental impact statement?

. . . Stop right there, Josh, what's this blowing the walls down jazz, who do those guys think they are, Glenn Miller and the Army Air Force Band?

. . . Look, Bed, nobody can bring down a big stone temple by shoving the pillars to one side, including Andre the Giant!!!!

And just try selling a news or program director on a couple of Jesus Christ's reported miracles . . .

. . . Jeez, are you kidding us? You even think about changing water into wine on network television and we got the Feds, the State Liquor Authority, and Mothers Against Drunk Driving all lined up to crucify us! And it's even money whether they'll charge us with aiding and abetting drunk drivers or aiding and abetting a bootlegger . . .

Maybe some of that will make you laugh. But it's also kind of sad that it just might be true . . .


TOPICS: Humor; Society; TV/Movies
KEYWORDS: media; religion

1 posted on 01/05/2012 2:16:15 AM PST by BluesDuke
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To: BluesDuke

they are.


2 posted on 01/05/2012 2:25:55 AM PST by the invisib1e hand (Ignorance is no excuse.)
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To: BluesDuke
Rev 11:10-1 (speaking of the two witnesses)...."And they that dwell upon the earth shall rejoice over them, and make merry, and shall send gifts one to another; because these two prophets tormented them that dwelt on the earth.And after three days and an half the spirit of life from God entered into them, and they stood upon their feet; and great fear fell upon them which saw them."

Just imagine if the whole world were watching this play out on tv.There'd be little laughing then.

3 posted on 01/05/2012 2:31:23 AM PST by mitch5501 (My guitar wants to kill your momma!)
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To: the invisib1e hand
they are.
Perhaps so, who's to say. But I can't help thinking, too, about the matter of actual miracles---I remember in Oh, God! Book Two, when the little girl asked God (George Burns) why he didn't come up with "one of your big miracles," God's reply was, "People would remember the miracle and forget why I did it."

I sometimes think that's true today of the miracles described in the Bible. Enough people know and recall them but forget why He did it.

4 posted on 01/05/2012 2:49:14 AM PST by BluesDuke (Another brief interlude from the small apartment halfway up in the middle of nowhere in particular)
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Comment #5 Removed by Moderator

To: BluesDuke

So when can we expect to see ‘Celebrity Apostle’?


6 posted on 01/05/2012 3:03:12 AM PST by Kartographer ("We mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.")
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To: the invisib1e hand

Isaiah 9 :8-10 . AM reminded of in the Book the Harbinger-by a
Jewish Rabbi Jonathan Cahn(?) Heard of it on the 700 Club.
Seems someone thinks Biblical events were reflected in the events in America post 9-11-01. From the words spoken by three of our supposed leaders (OBAMA included) “the bricks are fallen we will rebuild with hewn stone...” And the sycamore tree linked to our Founding era killed on 9-11— replaced with
a cedar. YEP one book I’m going to read while there is time.
Problem is we have heaped to ourselves teachers ...and have been turned from God.


7 posted on 01/05/2012 5:40:56 AM PST by StonyBurk (ring)
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To: BluesDuke

Oh, man. What great perspective.


8 posted on 01/05/2012 6:24:27 AM PST by FryingPan101 (Perry 2012)
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Here’s a Cute Kitty
End FReepathons by Donating Monthly



9 posted on 01/05/2012 8:14:28 AM PST by TheOldLady (FReepmail me to get ON or OFF the ZOT LIGHTNING ping list)
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To: Kartographer
So when can we expect to see ‘Celebrity Apostle’?
Not to mention Lifestyles of the Rich and Philistines, Real Housewives of the Sinai, Dancing with the Torah, The Love Ark, Twelve is Enough (ok, that one's kind of lame, but who's to say someone wouldn't have thought to make a cheeseball family drama out of Jacob and his brood?), The Apostolic Apprentice (just imagine someone trying to convince Jesus that he had to fire an apostle a week, not to mention who'd end up coming out on top and getting the job . . . ), or Survival: Sodom and Gomorrah . . .
10 posted on 01/05/2012 9:02:37 AM PST by BluesDuke (Another brief interlude from the small apartment halfway up in the middle of nowhere in particular)
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To: BluesDuke
This week on 'The Apostolic Apprentice'.

Jesus announces in the Boardroom that one of the Apostolic Apprentices will betry him.

Later in the episode Paul and Jesus have a one on one talk during which Paul ask Jesus if it is him that he supects is goning to betry him. Jesus answers:"No Paul I don't suspect you."

Mid-way through the episode Jesus is giving John some guidence on how best to complete his task and John ask Jesus if it is him that he supects is goning to betry him. Jesus answers:"No John I don't suspect you."

Toward the end of the episode Jesus is check on how Judus' assignment is going and Judus pulls Jessu aside and quitely ask him if it is him that he supects is goning to betry him. Jesus answers:"That's your problem Judus everything is always you! You! YOU!"
11 posted on 01/05/2012 9:21:09 AM PST by Kartographer ("We mutually pledge to each other our lives, our fortunes and our sacred honor.")
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To: Kartographer
Judas . . . you're fired!
12 posted on 01/05/2012 9:33:16 AM PST by BluesDuke (Another brief interlude from the small apartment halfway up in the middle of nowhere in particular)
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