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DUmmie FUnnies 07-04-12 (More panic: "Obama Team had better get on Ellen, Letterman, Leno and FAST")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | July 4, 2012 | DUmmie Laura PourMeADrink, DUmmies, and Charles Henrickson

Posted on 07/04/2012 7:49:30 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson

The panic button is still depressed, and so are the DUmmies. They know the Affordable Tax Act (AFF-TAX!) will be a tough sell in November, so they want to be pro-Active and get people on board with it NOW. Thus this THREAD, "Obama Team had better get on Ellen, Letterman, Leno and FAST." Sell it to the brain-dead, celebrity-obsessed, idiot-box set--in other words, the Democrat base. Yeah, that's the ticket!

So let us now enter the DUmmieland Panic Room, where they're trying to figure out how to sell a sow's ear as a silk purse, in Bolshevik Red, while the commentary of your humble guest correspondent, Charles Henrickson, doing DUbble-DUFU DUty on this day dedicated to freedom from oppressive, over-taxing government, is in the [brackets]:

Obama Team had better get on Ellen, Letterman, Leno and FAST

[Get on Ellen lickety-split!]

Rant Alert

[EVERY thread in DUmmieland should come with a Rant Alert. But thanks for warning us, DUmmie Laura PourMeADrink.]

Hate to sound like my pants are on fire, but they are on fire.

[Stop, drop, and rant!]

the propaganda machine on the right. . . . They are scaring people, just average folks, who are now thinking they
(1) will lose their insurance
(2) their premiums will skyrocket
(3) that they will lose their doctor
(4) that their taxes will go up.

[Just because one or more of those things will almost certainly happen to most people . . . well, just don't THINK about it, people! If you don't think about it, it isn't real! Block it out of your mind and you'll feel a whole lot better! . . . Refocus, re-center. . . . Cleansing breath. . . . Ommm. . . . See? It's not so scary!]

I saw Sanjay Gupta interviewing people. . . .

[Glad to hear he got a job after American Idol.]

who were asking "Will I still have my insurance?"

[Of course you will! Sure, the premiums will be twice as high. And when your employer goes out of business--OK, well maybe THEN you won't have insurance. But the tax won't be THAT high. And if you get REALLY poor, there's always Medicaid. So look, it's all good!]

Seniors rating of Obama drop 3 points since the Thursday.

[Isn't a bounce supposed to go UP?]

the Obama Team needs to get a plan on how to stop this. Think outside the box.

[Resign?]

They need to come up with 5 simple, important points and get every single surogate to repeat over and over.

[1. Barack is a nice guy. He has daughters. He has a dog.
2. You can have dinner with him. Enter the contest. We'll cover the airfare.
3. Rethuglicans are rich and mean-spirited and want to throw Granny over a cliff.
4. Michelle. Isn't she lovely?
5. FREE BIRTH-CONTROL! FREE HEALTHCARE! FREE STUDENT LOANS! FREE MORTGAGES! FREE! IT'S ALL FREE! WHEEEEEE!!!!]

They need to get on every single talk show. . . . Spend some big bucks on ads. Advertise a website, a toll free info line...Something. Obama should do a night time address. . . . before it's too late.

[Or launch some programming of their own: "America's Next Top Tax Rate." "What Not to Earn." "DNC-ing With The Stars." "How I Death-Paneled Your Mother."]

Phew. Thanks for reading my rant.

[Phew. You're welcome, DUmmie Laura PourMeADrink. But wait, you're not done . . .]

And IMHO, they've got to get on the 8th grade level. . . .

[No, sorry, Laura, that would be over the head of most Democrat voters.]

If you have insurance, nothing will change. . . .

["Nothing has changed in Austria." Thank you, Herr Zeller. . . . OK, Laura, NOW we go to your fellow DUmmies . . .]

They need to kick it into high gear now!

And they need to kick some MSM ass. . . .

[And the old people need to kick the bucket.]

Obama could get on any talk show he wants, Michelle too.

[Michelle could do push-ups on Ellen. No, wait, let me rephrase that. . . .]

what about PSAs?

[I don't think she could catch one that way.]

A PSA would be brilliant, but can they play them this close to an election? I don't know if the election rules would allow it.

[Rules, shmules! Go for it!]

Do it. Do it. Do it!

[DU it. DU it. DU it!]

Ellen's on summer break.

[Shows how well her show is doing, no one noticed.]

I didn't know she was still on TV.

[It's Must-Not-See TV.]

Perfect Spokesman

[DUmmie shows photo of Alan Alda.]

It's the half of America that usually stays home we need to convince. . . . They don't know SQUAT about ANYTHING but they know Alan Alda and know he played a doctor on a show they liked so they won't flip the channel right away. And YES. If possible, put him in character as Hawkeye Pierce home from war in private practice in Crabapple Cove, Maine and have other surviving members from MASH appear too. Wouldn't it be great to hear him call in his wife and it turns out to be Hotlips?

[Or better yet, B.J.]

Most of the people who remember MASH are almost eligible for Medicare.

[Alan Olda.]

I haven't watched TV in a decade so I don't know what's considered to be a current doctor show. And no,...Dr. Who is from England and he's not really a doctor.

[Here's a clue: Those actors who play doctors on TV? They're not really doctors, either.]

I don't watch TV hospital dramas either. There's one that takes place in Seattle--is it Gray's Anatomy?-- that is popular, with Sandra Oh...and there's Showtime's Nurse Jackie (but that is a dramady, and not suitable for this effort). . . .

["Nurse Jackie"--I haven't seen the show, but isn't she the one who is repeatedly violating the nursing code of ethics? Sounds perfect for Obamacare! You know, dealing with those expensive patients who are driving up the costs. . . .]

Tom Hanks would do it. So would Kevin Spacey.

[Have Will Pitt work on Spacey. He met him at a bar once, you know.]

How about Al Franken?

[Of course! The man who made Air America what it is today!]

If Sebelius were to do an education program, beginning it now, could help. Along with VPOTUS kicking butt as he does so well.

[Yes! Crazy Joe could plug it! "This is a big f***ing deal!" Great idea! Turn him loose! PUH-LEEZE!]

Nancy Pelosi and Howard Dean kicked ass on Press The Meat this morning.

[Howard the Doc! Him too! YEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAARRRRRGGGGHHH!!!!]

The best person to help Obama explain things is Rachel Maddow.

[Yes! Put her on Ellen. No, wait. . . .]

As much as I love Cenk. . . .

[So YOU'RE the one!]

As far as Current, I would say Spitzer.

[Client #9! Wow, these are all GREAT suggestions! Hey, what's Weiner doing? John Edwards? Dream Team, baby!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dufu; dummie; dummiefunnies; dummies; obama; obamacare; panic; panicbutton
Perfect spokesman for the Affordable Tax Act:

"AFF-TAX!"

1 posted on 07/04/2012 7:49:44 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson
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To: PJ-Comix; Xenalyte; RMDupree; AlexW; CzarNicky; Mike Fieschko; motzman; codercpc; thingumbob; ...

DUbble-DUFU Day PING!


2 posted on 07/04/2012 7:53:24 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (AFF-TAX!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

“If you have insurance, nothing will change. . . . “

The problem is, it’s already starting to change, and the older folk know it, because they are already losing coverage and paying more for it. You can’t argue people out of what is already happening to them.


3 posted on 07/04/2012 7:59:27 PM PDT by I still care (I miss my friends, bagels, and the NYC skyline - but not the taxes. I love the South.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Why are they so worried afterall ObamaTax ObamaNotATax is effing wonderful everyone loves it Just ask Nancy and Debbie it is the best thing in the world.


4 posted on 07/04/2012 8:02:42 PM PDT by funfan
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To: Charles Henrickson

“Don’t just stand there....Panic!!!!”


5 posted on 07/04/2012 8:05:45 PM PDT by rockrr (Everything is different now...)
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To: Charles Henrickson
It's the half of America that usually stays home we need to convince. . . .

Totally true for us!

6 posted on 07/04/2012 8:10:00 PM PDT by MindBender26 (America can survive 4 years of Romney. She cannot survive another 4 years of an unfettered Obama!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Top 10 Panicer!


7 posted on 07/04/2012 8:10:48 PM PDT by Incorrigible (If I lead, follow me; If I pause, push me; If I retreat, kill me.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

8


8 posted on 07/04/2012 8:13:45 PM PDT by chesley (God's chosen instrument - the trumpet)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I just realized that — after these many years of Dummie Funnies — sometimes astroturfing ends up in the scouting report! Somehow that makes it even better...


9 posted on 07/04/2012 8:13:45 PM PDT by StAnDeliver
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To: Charles Henrickson

“Obama Team had better get on Ellen, Letterman, Leno and FAST “
___________________________________
Big deal...Who watches those programs other then DUmmies?
It would just be preaching to the choir.


10 posted on 07/04/2012 8:27:14 PM PDT by AlexW
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To: Charles Henrickson

Has anyone seen the dog lately?


11 posted on 07/04/2012 9:11:59 PM PDT by SWAMPSNIPER (The Second Amendment, a Matter of Fact, Not a Matter of Opinion)
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To: SWAMPSNIPER
Has anyone seen the dog lately?

Just the chef.
12 posted on 07/04/2012 9:50:45 PM PDT by Dr.Zoidberg (With (R)epublicans like these, who needs (D)emocrats?)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Just explain how great communism is for the Inner Circle and the Party members.

Pray for America


13 posted on 07/04/2012 10:11:58 PM PDT by bray (Power to We the People)
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To: Charles Henrickson

These are great fun. Thanks, Charles.


14 posted on 07/05/2012 1:08:49 AM PDT by hsalaw
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To: hsalaw

My father is a retiree of a big steel company. The company dropped his old insurance, he had to find new coverage, it costs more. Want to know why? He wasn’t a union employee.

Want to guess what happened to the union pensioners? Do I need to tell you?

Nothing. They got to keep everything.

They play favorites with you even after you’re done working and will until the day you die.


15 posted on 07/05/2012 1:39:03 AM PDT by PittsburghAfterDark
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To: funfan

Because America is just too stupid to understand the brilliance of Obamacare? Even DU hates it as it’s not single payer healthcare.

“Keep it (the lie) on an eighth grade level”


16 posted on 07/05/2012 3:14:13 AM PDT by listenhillary (Courts, law enforcement, roads and national defense should be the extent of government)
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To: Charles Henrickson
. . . Spend some big bucks on ads.

Liberal solution to everything: spend some big bucks

17 posted on 07/05/2012 3:26:53 AM PDT by piasa (Attitude adjustments offered here free of charge)
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To: I still care
The problem is, it’s already starting to change, and the older folk know it, because they are already losing coverage and paying more for it. You can’t argue people out of what is already happening to them.

And if they happen to talk to their doctor, optometrist or dentist, they know what most of the medical community thinks about it. I've seen signs about the coming distater on a number of bulletin boards in medical offices. First the less crtitical things like eys and teeth will suffer and then the more critical areas will deteriorate.

18 posted on 07/05/2012 3:43:53 AM PDT by trebb ("If a man will not work, he should not eat" From 2 Thes 3)
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To: Charles Henrickson
They need to get on every single talk show. . . .

Note to Jimmy Fallon: Preezy will be returning.

19 posted on 07/05/2012 4:21:28 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Freeeeeeeeee Gaaaaaaaaassssssss!!!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Tom Hanks would do it. So would Kevin Spacey.
The best person to help Obama explain things is Rachel Maddow.


20 posted on 07/05/2012 4:21:30 AM PDT by Old Sarge (We are now officially over the precipice, we just havent struck the ground yet)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Wow, Goebbles blended with condescension mixed liberally with purposeful ignorance. You couldn’t have picked a better representation of liberals. I say to the DUmmies, speak loud and often. The more Americans see you in your full glory, the more will see the light.


21 posted on 07/05/2012 4:21:30 AM PDT by CSM (Keeper of the Dave Ramsey Ping list. FReepmail me if you want your beeber stuned.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I just got brain freeze reading this one! LOL!...and NO one
got a Kewpie Doll!

It is true...truth IS stranger than fiction!


22 posted on 07/05/2012 4:56:00 AM PDT by LUV W (Never forget...WE have THEM surrounded! ~ Rush Limbaugh)
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To: Charles Henrickson
Think outside the box.

And this line didn't deserve another "Ellen" reference?

23 posted on 07/05/2012 5:23:21 AM PDT by kevkrom (Those in a rush to trample the Constitution seem to forget that it is the source of their authority.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
the propaganda machine on the right. . . . They are scaring people, just average folks, who are now thinking they
(1) will lose their insurance
(2) their premiums will skyrocket
(3) that they will lose their doctor
(4) that their taxes will go up.
Sorry DUmmie, those 'average folks' should be scared.
  1. Already happening
  2. Already happening
  3. Already happening
  4. WILL happen
Now get back in your Pizza Box Fort in mommies Basement and fire up that that stuff in your spoon. All will be better in about 1 minute
(Iiiii ..... have become - Comfortably Numb)
24 posted on 07/05/2012 5:26:24 AM PDT by Condor51 (Never mess with an old man. He won't fight you he'll just kill you.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
they've got to get on the 8th grade level

Form my time in role-playing games, I'll note that it is infinitely harder to play a character smarter than yourself than the opposite. Why I'll note this at this time (and for this comment) is left as an exercise for the reader.

25 posted on 07/05/2012 5:26:41 AM PDT by kevkrom (Those in a rush to trample the Constitution seem to forget that it is the source of their authority.)
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To: kevkrom

:: it is infinitely harder to play a character smarter than yourself than the opposite. ::

Which is what makes Kelsey Grammar such a good actor.


26 posted on 07/05/2012 5:53:44 AM PDT by Cletus.D.Yokel (Catastrophic Anthropogenic Climate Alterations - The acronym explains the science.)
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To: Cletus.D.Yokel

True, but acting is different than role-playing in that an actor can read someone else’s lines.


27 posted on 07/05/2012 6:28:20 AM PDT by kevkrom (Those in a rush to trample the Constitution seem to forget that it is the source of their authority.)
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To: kevkrom

...without a TelePrompTer


28 posted on 07/05/2012 6:42:34 AM PDT by Cletus.D.Yokel (Catastrophic Anthropogenic Climate Alterations - The acronym explains the science.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
And they need to kick some MSM ass. . . .

The dims have the MSM / SRM on their side, so why do they matter.

29 posted on 07/05/2012 7:03:18 AM PDT by Arrowhead1952 (It's time to take out the trash in DC.)
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To: Charles Henrickson
2. You can have dinner with him. Enter the contest. We'll cover the airfare.

But don't touch the mini-bar.

30 posted on 07/05/2012 9:20:31 AM PDT by Cyber Liberty (Obama considers the Third World morally superior to the United States.)
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To: PittsburghAfterDark

The older/retired United steelworkers of America union members had their benefits reduced a few years ago because the younger/current members renegotiated their pensions. There was a lawsuit over it and the unions lost. Basically, the younger guys screwed over the older guys in the union.


31 posted on 07/05/2012 9:46:22 AM PDT by lwd
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To: Charles Henrickson
Obama Team had better get on Ellen, Letterman, Leno and FAST

[Get on Ellen lickety-split!]

That's Rachel's job. (Spewed iced tea alert.)

32 posted on 07/05/2012 11:27:33 AM PDT by ShorelineMike (Constituo, ergo sum.)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Thank you!

Alan Olda and DNCing with the stars. LOL

I know you are a man of the cloth...but you have a wicked sense of humor. And I mean that in the most complimentary way!


33 posted on 07/05/2012 6:42:15 PM PDT by berdie
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