The myth of the "natural man" and his environment is a lie. Men hate the outdoors.
Posted on 07/08/2012 4:05:29 PM PDT by JoanVarga
Thank God for air conditioning. I mean it. I'm not being casual about Whom to thank. I thank the everlasting Creator who imparted his universal wisdom into a series of inventions and ideas until a misguided therapy for malaria gave us the means to create ice. God bless! And then some Luddite, glacier-chopping Ice King quashed John Gorrie's idea in order to save his own fortunes, and we sweated for 50 more years. I hope Hell's thermostat got an upgrade of 50,000 extra degrees just for Mr. Tudor's arrival.
Air Conditioning is a miracle of civilization but it's not a new, modern desire. Hot, sweaty people have been seeking relief for ages. Cool, dry beds to sleep on are not to be dismissed lightly. It's why all children should be forced to go camping in summer. Make 'em appreciate civilization, abhor primitive living, and grow up to be fine young Capitalists like Carrier.
The myth of the "natural man" and his environment is a lie. Men hate the outdoors.
Air Conditioning should be a Religion. A violent one, if its existence becomes threatened. We all worship at its altar anyway; we moan with breathless thrill upon entering any room to escape the soul-sucking heat. "Ahhhhhh......" we intone, like monks in an ecstatic trance. And we are saved.
The tenets of our faith are found in the longer working hours and productivity that Air Conditioning provides. Capitalism is our outreach ministry. Come to AC all you who are sweaty and would find dry, cool pillows on which to rest, and AC will give you sleep. Blessed, restful sleep without the sheets sticking to you.
True story: a friend of mine who was a missionary in the Tamil region of India told of the Fiery Star season there. She would rinse and wring her sheets before going to bed, just to be cool enough to fall asleep. Once, she recalled, she sprang out of bed in the middle of the night, thinking the house was on fire, only to find that no, it was just two a.m. and hot. That right there tells you that heat is the devil's plaything. To conquer it is a work of all that is Good and Right in the world. People, my friend's story is not from so many years ago. Her son was amazed at the first time he experienced ice.
Al Gore has built his religion on the side of all that is evil and wrong and hot. He is apostate and must be shunned. SHUN the unbeliver! Shunnnn! Let Air Conditioning arise and its enemies be scattered!
We cannot let the political Luddites terrorize us with tales of Global Warming. Our sister in the faith, The Church of Blessed Condenser of the Saturday Saints can counter with her own tales of reduced violence on long summer nights while everyone is indoors worshiping and staying out of trouble; which argument also supports video games and hip-hop apps. Everyone's inside, keeping to themselves, and being creative instead of destructive. We have our own angelic hosts riffin' the turntable mixers, or laying down righteous rhythms in the heavenly realms of cooled basements and chillin' nightclubs.
Before Air Conditioning we all looked just like this.
Before AC, nobody looked this good.
Yes, we have many forms of worship. In our garments of praise we can wear most anything in our over-cooled places of business and still look as fresh and beautiful as our Maker intended. With every hair in place and unwrinkled adornments we are silent witnesses to our faith. We have no need of showy words or flashy techniques. We simply have a sure foundation of priestly engineers and their electrician acolytes who assist them at the altar of alleviation. The chimes of whirring motors, the cool, moving air of sweet oblations, the murmuring praises for answered prayer as worshipers arrive inside. This is our holy communion. Let no man despise what God has made.
Can I get an AMEN?
Cities like Phoenix or Las Vegas would simply not exist (or at best, would be 10% of their present size) without this invention.
Unfortunately, it keeps the hogs in D.C. year ‘round. They used to go home in the summer due to the heat.
Sucky trade-off. For now. . .
See, I have yet to understand the mental workings of anyone who likes hot weather, or, indeed, summer. My ancestors came from England, and I am a fair-skinned female who wilts during this season. I listen to all the songs about wonderful summertime, and I think, “Yeah....oppressive, sticky, stifling heat; lack of rain; storms that take out the power; BUGS; step outside and get drenched with sweat. What’s not to like?” /s
rant off
Mixed blessing. I am old enough to remember when there were almost no yankees in the South.
I will say a few of them aren’t half bad:).
Those of us raised in the swelter do love to tweak the noses of the faint-hearted. We live in the South because we like to breathe our air through a snorkel. We love the heat!
We love it even more when we can escape it at will.
Me too. You’d almost think we bred mosquitoes and gnats just to torture Yankee blood!
LOL
Born and raised Southern, but I hate it. Hey, if y’all love it, why not get rid of your a/c? :::::ducking:::::
Amen!
Saturday:
104F outside
74F inside
63F basement
We need a cool, dry place to keep the Yankee bodies until we can feed 'em to the gators, luv!
No luxury of a basement in most parts of the South and the lowcountry of South Carolina. Sounds heavenly. Praise York!
I love summer and I feel much as you do about cold weather.
I was riding my bicycle a couple of days ago when it was over 100° (I will admit, that was a bit warmer than I like). The air conditioner in my car quit a few years ago, I never bothered to see why it stopped working, probably low of Freon.
Here in Indiana you gotta have a basement for when the twisters come through, LOL.
Having lived through some hurricanes, I’ve wished for a basement only to realize it would drown me before the wind ever killed me!
New heard of this before. Anyone have any more information?
From the link in the post: “According to Dr. Gorrie’s biographer, Vivian M. Sherlock, the “Ice King”, Frederic Tudor, was suspected for causing his failure when he launched a smear campaign against the invention. Dr. Gorrie died impoverished in 1855 and the idea of air conditioning faded away for 50 years.”
Oh, my, now you’ve started it....how long until incoming, LOL?
Oh, my, now you’ve started it....how long until incoming, LOL?
Oh, my, now you’ve started it....how long until incoming, LOL?
Oh, my, now you’ve started it....how long until incoming, LOL?
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