Lady Gaga’s New Upper West Side NYC Restaurant 'Worst Thing Since Herpes'

Reaganite Republican ^ | October 5, 2012 | Reaganite Republican

[Reaganite Republican]

New York Daily News: 'One star'

Well, the reviews are in on the new Joanne Trattoria restaurant (Italian, expensive) that mega pop-star Lady Gaga recently opened on the Upper West Side of Manhattan with/for her parents.
That sounds like a nice gesture, and hard not to respect the gratitude. 

Shame about the food though, which sounds like overpriced hog slop:

When a wan Caprese salad with mealy tomatoes and cloying balsamic costs $18, should a server quip that cheese is sourced from “whoever gets it to us cheapest”...?

When a restaurant charges $18 for fried calamari, should the dish arrive so sloppily plated that it looks like the kitchen threw it back in the bowl after dropping it? 

Should the appetizer glow with grease or boast more breadcrumbs than squid?  And should the accompanying marinara sauce taste like a powdered mix? 

The most edible appetizer, baked stuffed mushrooms ($14), still wouldn't pass muster in a diner. Eight caps are stuffed with breadcrumbs and shoved onto a tiny iron skillet, whose surface glistens with oil. The dominant note of this icky, mushy octet is salt. Seven of them are left abandoned on the serving platter... 

Eggplant Parmesan ($24) arrives a gloppy, sloppy, flavorless mess whose net effect is the culinary equivalent of old cars in a massive pileup. A skin of barely melted cheese only worsens the pain. 

 I don’t know the Germanottas’ Aunt Josephine, but I imagine she’s a doll with a warm, welcoming cucina and a big heart to match. 

So why did the poor dear lend her name to Joanne’s Meat Lasagna ($26)? This is the Potemkin Village of lasagnas, an appealing surface that gives way to neutered meat, cheese and sauce. When your first impulse is to add salt to this Italian dish, you know you’re in trouble...

Small wonder

.

NY Daily News   101.9FM

[cripplecreek]

I wouldn’t touch that with Gordon Ramsay’s spatula.

[nascarnation]

And since it’s in Bloomieville, you can’t get a large Coke either, LOL.

[Reaganite Republican]

*** PING ***

[oblomov]

Plenty of great restaurants in the UWS, why even bother with this one? It’s unfortunate that there are so many communists around here, though.

[Reaganite Republican]

I guess the only way to wash the taste out of your mouth there is a self-induced swirley

[Mears]

Just reading the review made me gag.

.

[Reaganite Republican]

“Just reading the review made me gag”

________________________________________

Lady Gag-ya

[Doogle]

"you see the size of those roaches?"

"see em, I was thinking of riding one"

[VanDeKoik]

Seriously, dont ask what's in the Miracle Whip.

[drewh]

[GeronL]

Sounds like an episode of KITCHEN NIGHTMARES

[Reaganite Republican]

Tasteful and restrained

[Dr.Zoidberg]

Considering “Lady” Gargle wears meat, it’s likely she’s serving polyester and wool.

[Jack_1]

What's is on the Menu tonight ??

[missingwv]

I went to Catholic grammar school and high school with Joanne Germanotta. Not in a million years would I have associated her with this train wreck. She was very genteel, studious, and dressed very modestly. I think her family had some more money than most those days, but we did not think they were wealthy. She was out sick a lot in high school and she died from lupus while in college. It was shocking to us, because we had never heard of it before. The whole fantasy Gaga has built up around her aunt is a joke, because Joanne died many years before she was born. I guess her family using Joanne’s name on the restaurant shows they are all about the money now.

[Bullish]

Maybe Gaga should just stick to doing a terrible job on her makeup.

[Bullish]

[arrogantsob]

She is pretty funny. I doubt this review will affect the GaGa fans who will eat at this joint.

[terycarl]

why the hell would anyone ever order calamari or eggplant anything is beyond me!!!