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If Pearl Harbor Happened Today...
The Looking Spoon ^ | 12-7-12 | The Looking Spoon

Posted on 12/07/2012 10:26:25 AM PST by The Looking Spoon

Well...it did happen today, I mean in 2012 instead of 1941.

See the original paper I worked with on this post here.


TOPICS: Humor; Politics
KEYWORDS: barackobama; pearlharbor; satire

1 posted on 12/07/2012 10:26:28 AM PST by The Looking Spoon
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To: The Looking Spoon

Obama would apologize.


2 posted on 12/07/2012 10:27:08 AM PST by ModelBreaker
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To: The Looking Spoon

The chattering classes would all be wringing their hands and trying to understand why the Japanese hate us.


3 posted on 12/07/2012 10:31:42 AM PST by ZirconEncrustedTweezers (Democrats are evil. Republicans are stupid.)
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To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers

Yesterday December 7th, 1941 airplanes with red circles on their wings attacked the occupiers of the island nation of Hawaii.


4 posted on 12/07/2012 10:33:55 AM PST by massgopguy (I owe everything to George Bailey)
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To: The Looking Spoon

Work place violence strikes again


5 posted on 12/07/2012 10:35:08 AM PST by WKB ( Remember "Bush Lied and People Died" Now it's "People died and Obama Lied")
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To: ModelBreaker

And say we deserved it.


6 posted on 12/07/2012 10:45:47 AM PST by baddog 219
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To: The Looking Spoon

Univ of Hawaii professors would declare, “The USS Arizona was stuffed full of Little Eichmanns...!” Obama would apoligize for provoking Japanese.

Then it would be shown that the US State Department had known of the approaching Japanese task force for MONTHS, and that the White House had paid for all the Japanese equipment used in the attack.


7 posted on 12/07/2012 10:49:21 AM PST by gaijin
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To: The Looking Spoon

...it would be described as an “Unfortunate industrial accident in setting-up for the upcoming Fourth-of-July fireworks display”.


8 posted on 12/07/2012 10:57:15 AM PST by DuncanWaring (The Lord uses the good ones; the bad ones use the Lord.)
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To: ZirconEncrustedTweezers

Can you imagine the punishments for calling the Japs “Japs” or “Nips?”

Or what they would do to the Marines who sent Japanese skulls home to their loved ones to make ashtrays?

And no war prizes, like Arisakas, or Nambus.

We need to ditch political correctness. In the future we need to thoroughly demonize our enemies - call the savages SAVAGES for heaven’s sake! And we need to allow our troops a little loot!


9 posted on 12/07/2012 11:08:00 AM PST by Little Ray (Get back to work. Your urban masters need their EBTs refilled.)
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To: The Looking Spoon

FDR would advertize on Tokyo radio that he had nothing to do with the Laurel and Hardy sketch that undoubtedly was responsible for the massive plane vs. ship pileup in the harbour.

A few days later the FBI would arrest Charlie Chaplin.


10 posted on 12/07/2012 11:09:50 AM PST by gaijin
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To: gaijin
Obama would apoligize for provoking Japanese.

Hard as it is to believe, there are liberals that maintain that the attack was entirely due to the US provoking Japan by basing our fleet in Hawaii.

11 posted on 12/07/2012 11:10:52 AM PST by doorgunner69
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To: The Looking Spoon
Roosevelt's speech as given by Obama
12 posted on 12/07/2012 11:16:08 AM PST by pabianice (washington, dc ..)
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To: gaijin

Bingo. +2


13 posted on 12/07/2012 11:31:19 AM PST by andyk (I have sworn...eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man.)
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To: gaijin

excellent, you even got the chronology right.
Chaplin’s The Great Dictator came out in 1940.


14 posted on 12/07/2012 11:56:17 AM PST by supremedoctrine
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To: supremedoctrine

"We go first to the year 1939 when Charlie Chaplin and his evil Nazi regime enslaved Europe and tried to take over the world! ... But then an even greater force emerged: The un....And the un un-nazied the world! Forever!"

(From the "Time Masheen" in Idiocracy)

15 posted on 12/07/2012 12:00:09 PM PST by dfwgator
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To: The Looking Spoon
President Obama would send Secretary of State Cordell Hull out to do interviews on all the major radio networks, saying that the attack occurred because the Japanese were angry over the way their countrymen were portrayed in the 1939 movie "Mr. Moto's Last Warning."

Hull would emphatically deny that the US government had anything to do with the movie but would promise victims of the attack and their relatives that actor Peter Lorre, who portrayed Mr. Moto, a Japanese detective, the writer John P. Marquand, who created the character, and producer Sol Wurtzel would be prosecuted and punished. He would also assure listeners that an ongoing investigation of the attack is underway.

16 posted on 12/07/2012 12:01:53 PM PST by Fiji Hill (Io Triumphe!)
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To: Little Ray

IN WW II the word “Jap” was not used as a derogatory epithet—it was just a short form of Japanese. When they wanted to use an epithet they used the word “Nip” “Monkey Men” “Gook” etc...


17 posted on 12/07/2012 1:08:08 PM PST by Forward the Light Brigade (Into the Jaws of H*ll)
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To: Forward the Light Brigade
I may be mistaken, but I believe the term "Gook" came into use during the Korean war, not WWII. Carried over into Vietnam of course. Lots of our senior NCO's were Korea vets.

My dad was a Pacific WWII vet, and he certainly used the usual terms, but not "Gook".

18 posted on 12/07/2012 1:20:44 PM PST by doorgunner69
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To: doorgunner69

In Korea—Gook is there word for Soup.


19 posted on 12/07/2012 2:37:11 PM PST by Forward the Light Brigade (Into the Jaws of H*ll)
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To: The Looking Spoon
The Kenyan Marxist would have been working with the Japanese to liberate Hawaii from the evil imperialist Americans.

Asian Spring...

20 posted on 12/07/2012 10:53:52 PM PST by DBeers (†)
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To: The Looking Spoon

Hey, you’re being watched by the DUmmies and they don’t like your humor. I think you’re going to make them cry...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10021945318


21 posted on 12/08/2012 9:35:31 AM PST by WinOne4TheGipper (Fighting the Left does not mean that we have to adopt all of their tactics.)
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To: dfwgator

I’ve got that CD, but have never had time to watch it.
It’s been referred to often in the Age of Obama, as being
somewhat “prophetic”, at least as far as a broad comedy can be.


22 posted on 12/08/2012 11:07:02 AM PST by supremedoctrine
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To: dfwgator

I’ve got that CD, but have never had time to watch it.
It’s been referred to often in the Age of Obama, as being
somewhat “prophetic”, at least as far as a broad comedy can be.


23 posted on 12/08/2012 11:07:43 AM PST by supremedoctrine
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To: WinOne4TheGipper

LOL...thanks for the heads up. :-)


24 posted on 12/10/2012 10:58:43 AM PST by The Looking Spoon
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