Posted on 12/01/2015 4:02:16 PM PST by The Looking Spoon
In 2012 a poll found a plurality of people thought Santa would be a Democrat.
Let's go down the ways this poll was right, and the (more) ways it was wrong.
You can link to this and tell people that one "study" showed Santa is almost twice as conservative as he is liberal.
;-)
Believes in traditional marriage (to Mrs. Claus, of course!).
Gives boyfriends and husbands guns for Christmas.
He sees you when you're sleeping
He knows when you're awake
He knows if you've been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake!
Always shouting “Merry Christmas!”, not “Happy Holidays!”
Slaps Arius in the face for denying the Divinity of Christ.
http://www.stnicholascenter.org/pages/bishop-nicholas-loses-his-cool/
Let’s see a Democrat do that.
He gives away lots of stuff, but doesn’t take from others to do it.
On the other hand, Santa’s workshop would probably be considered a sweat shop if were not at the North Pole.
Loving the color red might make him a Republican.
Santa is worshiped by dyslexic Satanists
Santa is worshiped by dyslexic Satanists
For Santa to be a Rat he’d have to take the gifts he leaves from others.
I have only one firm belief about the American political system, and that is this: God is a Republican and Santa Claus is a Democrat.
God is an elderly or, at any rate, middle aged male, a stern fellow, patriarchal rather than paternal and a great believer in rules and regulations. He holds men accountable for their actions. He has little apparent concern for the material well being of the disadvantaged. He is politically connected, socially powerful and holds the mortgage on literally everything in the world. God is difficult. God is unsentimental. It is very hard to get into God’s heavenly country club.
Santa Claus is another matter. He’s cute. He’s nonthreatening. He’s always cheerful. And he loves animals. He may know who’s been naughty and who’s been nice, but he never does anything about it. He gives everyone everything they want without the thought of quid pro quo. He works hard for charities, and he’s famously generous to the poor. Santa Claus is preferable to God in every way but one: There is no such thing as Santa Claus.
Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts To Explain The Entire U. S. Government | 1991 | P. J. O’Rourke
YES, Santa is a dim-0, and so is satan.
Years ago, P. J. O’Rourke wrote a hilarious essay called “Santa Claus is a Democrat, but God is a Republican.”
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