Posted on 04/15/2018 6:02:13 PM PDT by John Semmens
The “tell all” book written by James Comey, the FBI Director fired by Trump on the advice of FBI Deputy Director Rod Rosenstein in May of 2017, was released to reviewers this week and will be released to the general public next week. In sum, the book tries to make the case that Trump is “unfit to govern.”
“What most people don’t realize is that Trump is much shorter than me,” the Ex-FBI Director wrote. “I’m 6′ 8” and he is only 6′ 3”. That’s a whole five inches shorter. And that’s not his only five-inch shortage. I peeked in the men’s room and by my reckoning Trump’s schlong is at least five inches shorter than mine. If voters had known this prior to his election I don’t think they would’ve pulled the lever for such a woefully undermanned candidate.”
Other startling revelations from Comey’s book included his observation that “up close, the President appears to be unpleasantly fat and disturbingly orange. These are not the attributes of a leader of the free world. The regrettable ascension of Trump to this nation’s highest office is a big step down from the impeccably dressed and impressively svelte Barack Obama who so gracefully occupied this august position for an incredibly fulfilling and amazing eight years, racking up triumph after triumph in the eyes of the world.”
Comey contrasted what he called “Trump’s unethical and untethered to the truth values” with “President Obama’s scandal-free reign. Trump is at odds with the values and beliefs of everyone who has been a member of the elite that has governed this country for generations. It is fortunate that embedded members of this elite, including myself until I was fired, have been able to leak details of this man’s disturbing deviation from accepted norms since his wrongful electoral seizure of power. We can only hope that the continued resistance of these patriots will be enough to undo the mistake voters made by electing Trump.”
Interestingly, Comey admitted that he made the decision to exonerate Hillary Clinton for her illegal use of an unsecure off-site email system aimed at hiding her illicit monetization of her power as the US Secretary of State “so as not to taint her presidency. All the polls showed that she would win handily. I felt it would be bad for the country if her illegal activities were permitted to cloud her inevitable administration. Once the unthinkable happened and Trump won, I did whatever I could to try to rectify this catastrophe.”
President Trump said he was “surprised that Comey would so eagerly boast that he illegally leaked classified information, derailed an FBI investigation into Hillary’s crimes, and used an unverified political hit piece to dupe the FISA Court to approve spying on my campaign. Usually criminals try to hide their crimes. That he would be so brazen and that the fake news media would be so excessive in their praise of these criminal acts is an outrage.”
In related news, the Yale Law School announced the creation of a fund honoring the legacy of 1973 graduate Hillary Clinton. The announcement was hailed by former classmate Guy Swindel who said “I think starting a fund to accumulate money in Clinton’s name would be a fitting tribute to someone who has been amazingly successful in enriching herself from the generosity of supporters and her skillful wielding of the various public offices she has held. No one else, to my knowledge, has done as much with as little personal effort or integrity.”
if you missed any of this week's other semi-news/semi-satire posts you can find them at...
https://azconservative.org/2018/04/15/comeys-tell-all-book-published/
How can he even say that with a straight face. What the hell does he thing Hillary's email investigation was??
I call it the “Top Dirty Cop” book.
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