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*** OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD ***
3/4/05 | TheBigB

Posted on 03/04/2005 9:02:18 AM PST by TheBigB

Woo Hoo! TGIF! Time for some FRIDAAAAAAY SILLINESS!! :^) Let loose and blow off some steam...post silly pics, jokes, nonsensical statements, or even IGNORE THIS THREAD!

"Silliness, sweeeet!"

An actual book about pet care. I swear!

It's not Christmas, but still...

Fierce Allegiance says he never listened to that Debbie Gibson tape in his truck. I don't believe him. :^)


TOPICS:
KEYWORDS:
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1 posted on 03/04/2005 9:02:18 AM PST by TheBigB
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To: presidio9; Fierce Allegiance; Constitution Day; martin_fierro; Tijeras_Slim; Owl_Eagle; ...

Silliness ahoy, FRiends!! :^) Happy Friday!


2 posted on 03/04/2005 9:02:43 AM PST by TheBigB ("Send lawyers, guns and money; the s*it has hit the fan" ~Warren Zevon)
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To: TheBigB
It's Miller Time!!!


3 posted on 03/04/2005 9:03:26 AM PST by Conspiracy Guy (Reading is fundamental. Comprehension is optional.)
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To: TheBigB
Heads up!
4 posted on 03/04/2005 9:04:15 AM PST by right wing
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To: TheBigB

ARRRRRRRRRR!
5 posted on 03/04/2005 9:04:20 AM PST by Darksheare (If you were in my heart I'd surely not break you. If you were beside me and my love would take you.)
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To: TheBigB

WooHoo


6 posted on 03/04/2005 9:04:45 AM PST by JimWforBush
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To: Fiddlstix
Not BRAAD, but fun.

Shalom.

7 posted on 03/04/2005 9:05:39 AM PST by ArGee (Why do we let queers tell us what's normal?)
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To: TheBigB

A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper has screwed him for ten
million bucks This bookkeeper is deaf. It was considered an occupational
benefit, and why he got the job in the first place, since it was assumed
that a deaf bookkeeper would not be able to hear anything he'd ever have to
testify about in court.

When the Godfather goes to shakedown the bookkeeper about his missing $10
million bucks, he brings along his attorney, who knows sign language.

The Godfather asks the bookkeeper: "Where is the 10 million bucks you
embezzled from me?"

The attorney, using sign language, asks the bookkeeper where the 10 million
dollar is hidden.

The bookkeeper signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."

The attorney tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."

That's when the Godfather pulls out a 9 mm pistol, puts it to the bookkeeper's temple, cocks it, and says: "Ask him again!"

The attorney signs to the underling: "He'll kill you for sure if you don't tell him!"

The bookkeeper signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Enzo's backyard in Queens!"

The Godfather asks the attorney: "Well, what'd he say?"

The attorney replies: "He says you don't have the balls to pull the trigger.


8 posted on 03/04/2005 9:06:39 AM PST by JimWforBush
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To: TheBigB

Martha Stewart just came out of her Beford farm house to offer the reporters outside in the cold surrounding the property hot chocolate and homemade brownies. She however neglected to tell them she had used Ex-Lax instead of Swiss chocolate..


9 posted on 03/04/2005 9:06:57 AM PST by ken5050 (The Dem party is as dead as the NHL..)
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To: TheBigB
Oh well. Guess I'll just have to post this again.....


Time to kick back and have FUN ~ ~ ~ ~ !!

10 posted on 03/04/2005 9:07:34 AM PST by Arrowhead1952 ("I hate the Republicans and everything they stand for," - Howard Dean 01/29/2005)
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To: Darksheare

That's a good one.


11 posted on 03/04/2005 9:07:36 AM PST by TASMANIANRED (Certified cause of Post Traumatic Redhead Syndrome)
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To: TheBigB


12 posted on 03/04/2005 9:07:41 AM PST by Dead Corpse (The neighborhood is pretty dead at night, and I'm the one to blame....)
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To: TheBigB

It's a Bloody Mary Morning

13 posted on 03/04/2005 9:09:15 AM PST by socal_parrot (Tryin' to reason with El Nino season.)
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To: Arrowhead1952

I pledge allegiance to the legs - er- flag...


14 posted on 03/04/2005 9:10:17 AM PST by fredhead ("It is a good thing war is so terrible, or we should grow too fond of it." General Robert E. Lee)
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To: TheBigB
Sheep Catch
15 posted on 03/04/2005 9:11:15 AM PST by JimWforBush
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To: TheBigB

16 posted on 03/04/2005 9:11:21 AM PST by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: TheBigB; peacebaby
The CIA was recruiting an assassin. Of the original hundreds of applicants they finally reduced the field to the top three - two men and a woman.

They brought the first man into a room and said, "We need to know you will follow our instructions to the letter without question." They handed him a pistol and said, "Behind this door your wife is sitting in a chair. Go through the door and shoot her with this gun."

He said, "I can't shoot my wife."

They said, "Thank you, but you won't do," and let him go.

They brought the second man into a room and said, "We need to know you will follow our instructions to the letter without question." They handed him a pistol and said, "Behind this door your wife is sitting in a chair. Go through the door and shoot her with this gun."

He took a deep breath and went in. After a couple of seconds of silence he came out and said, "I just can't do it. I can't kill my wife."

They said, "Thank you, but you won't do," and let him go.

The brought the woman in and said, "We need to know you will follow our instructions to the letter without question." They handed her a pistol and said, "Behind this door your husband is sitting in a chair. Go through the door and shoot him with this gun."

She took the gun and went in. They heard several gunshots then some banging and clanging. Finally, the woman came out looking a little disheveled. She handed the gun back and said, "This thing was full of blanks. I had to beat the ba$tard to death with the chair."

Shalom.

17 posted on 03/04/2005 9:11:35 AM PST by ArGee (Why do we let queers tell us what's normal?)
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To: TheBigB

18 posted on 03/04/2005 9:12:17 AM PST by beachn4fun (My mind has been wandering. If you see it, send it back.)
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To: TheBigB

TGIF, B!

Here ya go:

WOMEN'S REVENGE


"Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the
woman wished to purchase. As she fumbled for her wallet
I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

"So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked.

"No," she replied, "
but my husband refused to come shopping with me,
so I figured this was the most legal evil thing I could do to him."


UNDERSTANDING WOMEN
(A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I know I'm not going to understand women.
I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh,
rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a spider.


MARRIAGE SEMINAR

While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
"It is essential that husbands and wives know the things
that are important to each other."

He addressed the man,
"Can you describe your wife's favorite flower?"

Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered,
"It's Pillsbury, isn't it?

The rest of the story gets rather ugly, so I'll stop right here.


CIGARETTES AND TAMPONS

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the
aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can
help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons
for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few
minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and a
ball of string on the counter.

She says, confused,
"Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?

He answers, " You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent
my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes,
and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling
papers; cause it's sooooooooooo much cheaper. So,
I figure if I have to roll my own ............ so does she.




WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple drove down a country road for several miles,
not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an
argument and neither of them wanted to concede their
position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats,
and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."


WORDS
A husband read an article to his wife about how many
words women use a day... 30,000 to a man's 15,000.
The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we
have to repeat everything to men...
The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"


CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you
can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
" The wife responded, "Allow me to explain. God made
me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

WHO DOES WHAT

A man and his wife were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up
first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee."
The husband said, " You are in charge of cooking
around here and you should do it, because that is your
job, and I can just wait for my coffee."
Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it
is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."
Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."
So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New
Testament and showed him at the top of several pages,
that it indeed says..........
"HEBREWS"


19 posted on 03/04/2005 9:12:51 AM PST by annyokie (Laissez les bons temps rouler !)
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To: TheBigB

Happy Friday!


20 posted on 03/04/2005 9:12:56 AM PST by Bella_Bru (You're about as funny as a case sensitive search engine.)
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To: TheBigB

The following is rated "G" -- no beer, no b**bs, and plenty of cows:

Subject: Cows


DEMOCRAT

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.


REPUBLICAN

You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?


SOCIALIST

You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.


COMMUNIST

You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.


CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.


BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE

You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down the drain.


AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.


FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.


JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.


GERMAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.


ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.


RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.


TALIBAN CORPORATION

You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature' private parts.
You get a $40 million grant from the US government to find alternatives to milk production but use the money to buy weapons.


IRAQI CORPORATION

You have two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.


POLISH CORPORATION

You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.


BELGIAN CORPORATION

You have one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.


FLORIDA CORPORATION

You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which one you think is the best-looking cow.


CALIFORNIA CORPORATION

You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegals.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.


21 posted on 03/04/2005 9:13:23 AM PST by TrueKnightGalahad (It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye. A S-E)
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To: socal_parrot

Beer, anyone?

too early in the morning....

OK, then, scotch?


22 posted on 03/04/2005 9:14:12 AM PST by peacebaby (Red rover, red rover, send MOSER right over.)
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To: TASMANIANRED

Thanks!
I stole it off of someone.
Don't recall who.


23 posted on 03/04/2005 9:14:25 AM PST by Darksheare (If you were in my heart I'd surely not break you. If you were beside me and my love would take you.)
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To: right wing

24 posted on 03/04/2005 9:14:44 AM PST by r-q-tek86 (Photoshop makes all things possible.)
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To: TheBigB
Would now be a good time to ask:
What's a "Snuff Mull"?
Clic Pic

25 posted on 03/04/2005 9:15:06 AM PST by AnOldCowhand (The west is dead. You may lose a sweetheart, but you will never forget her - Charles Russell)
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To: TheBigB

That one of Santa and the reindeer is funny!


26 posted on 03/04/2005 9:15:39 AM PST by beachn4fun (My mind has been wandering. If you see it, send it back.)
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To: r-q-tek86

Oops... forgot the caption... "Easter's Cancelled"


27 posted on 03/04/2005 9:15:50 AM PST by r-q-tek86 (Photoshop makes all things possible.)
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To: JimWforBush

Good one! ;)


28 posted on 03/04/2005 9:16:27 AM PST by G.Mason ("If you are broken It is because you are brittle" ... K.Hepburn, The Lion In Winter)
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To: r-q-tek86

That's not funny, I'm telling you. That's sick! Sick. Now how am I gonna get easter eggs. Waaaaaaaa.......

29 posted on 03/04/2005 9:17:14 AM PST by beachn4fun (My mind has been wandering. If you see it, send it back.)
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To: TheBigB
Q: How is a woman better than a fine bottle of wine?

Shalom.

30 posted on 03/04/2005 9:17:32 AM PST by ArGee (Why do we let queers tell us what's normal?)
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To: TheBigB
A man walked in to Joe's Barber Shop for his regular haircut. As he snips away, Joe asks "What's up?"

The man proceeds to explain he's taking a vacation to Rome. "ROME?!" Joe says, "Why would you want to go there? It's a crowded dirty city full of Italians! You'd be crazy to go to Rome!

So how ya getting there?" "We're taking TWA," the man replies. "TWA?!" yells Joe. "They're a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly and they're always late!

So where you staying in Rome?" The man says "We'll be at the downtown International Marriot." "That DUMP?!" says Joe. "That's the worst hotel in the city! The rooms are small, the service is surly and slow and they're overpriced!

So whatcha doing when you get there?" The man says "We're going to go see the Vatican and hope to see the Pope." "HA! That's rich!" laughs Joe. "You and a million other people trying to see him. He'll look the size of an ant. Boy, good luck on THIS trip. You're going to need it!"

A month later, the man comes in for his regular haircut. Joe says, "Well, how did that trip to Rome turn out? Betcha TWA gave you the worst flight of your life!"

"No, quite the opposite" explained the man. "Not only were we on time in one of their brand new planes, but it was full and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a beautiful 28 year old flight attendant who waited on me hand and foot!"

"Hmmm," Joe says, "Well, I bet the hotel was just like I described."

"No, quite the opposite! They'd just finished a $25 million remodeling. It's the finest hotel in Rome, now. They were o overbooked, so they apologized and gave us the Presidential suite for no extra charge!"

"Well," Joe mumbles, "I KNOW you didn't get to see the Pope!"

"Actually, we were quite lucky. As we toured the Vatican, a Swiss guard tapped me on the shoulder and explained the Pope likes to personally meet some of the visitors, and if I'd be so kind as to step into this private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure enough, after 5 minutes the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand. I knelt down as he spoke a few words to me."

Impressed, Joe asks, "Tell me, please! What'd he say?"

"Oh, not much really. Just 'Where'd you get that lousy haircut?"

31 posted on 03/04/2005 9:18:24 AM PST by Reaganesque
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To: r-q-tek86
Well, dang, now I can't show the thread to my daughter.

Oh, well, I can tell her the good jokes.

I'm LMAO, but my daughter loves bunnies and would NOT think it's funny.

Shalom.

32 posted on 03/04/2005 9:18:56 AM PST by ArGee (Why do we let queers tell us what's normal?)
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To: GSWarrior
Teaching Math In 1950
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit?

Teaching Math In 1960
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?

Teaching Math In 1970
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80. Did he make a profit?

Teaching Math In 1980
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number 20.

Teaching Math In 1990
By cutting down beautiful forest trees, the logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the forest birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down the trees. (There are no wrong answers.)

Teaching Math In 2005
El hachero vende un camion carga por $100. La cuesta de production es

33 posted on 03/04/2005 9:19:24 AM PST by GSWarrior
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To: G.Mason

Snoo?


34 posted on 03/04/2005 9:20:13 AM PST by llevrok (Don't blame me! I voted for Pedro.)
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To: GSWarrior

That's great.


35 posted on 03/04/2005 9:22:17 AM PST by JimWforBush
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To: TheBigB
Yea!!! I love our Friday thread. This was a post from a couple of days ago, but in case anyone missed it....See yourself as a South Park Character!!
36 posted on 03/04/2005 9:22:27 AM PST by retrokitten (I heart Tony Snow)
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To: TheBigB
TO GOD - FROM THE DOG:

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Help me remember - To be a good dog...

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

3 I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.

4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.. neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.

9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".

11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

13. I will not throw up in the car.

14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.

16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

And, finally, My last question . . .

Dear God: When I get to Heaven, may I have my testicles back?

37 posted on 03/04/2005 9:26:10 AM PST by beachn4fun (My mind has been wandering. If you see it, send it back.)
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To: beachn4fun

In honor of the troops, I will now "go commando".

> Copied my threadbare joke over from the unofficial Friday Silliness thread.


38 posted on 03/04/2005 9:30:33 AM PST by BubbaTex (Long time lurker)
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To: All

In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a beautiful young woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight mini skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus.

Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her enough slack to raise her leg.

Again, she tried to make the step only to discover she still couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time attempted the step, and, once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg.

With a little smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again was unable to make! the step.

About this time, a large Texan who was standing behind her picked her up easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.

She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled, "How dare you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!"

The Texan smiled and drawled, "Well, ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three times, I kinda figured we was friends."


39 posted on 03/04/2005 9:31:36 AM PST by dadeeo3 (Friends)
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To: ArGee
Beets the hell out of me.


40 posted on 03/04/2005 9:32:47 AM PST by BJClinton (What's the difference between the Super Bowl and the Grammy's? The Eagles have won a Grammy)
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To: Arrowhead1952; stand watie; WelshLass; Lady Jag

PING-A-LING. Care to check it out?


41 posted on 03/04/2005 9:33:22 AM PST by beachn4fun (My mind has been wandering. If you see it, send it back.)
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To: r-q-tek86

Here comes Peter Cottontail
Hopping down the bunny trail
Hippity hoppity, SPLAT!!!

No Easter eggs for you!!


42 posted on 03/04/2005 9:33:23 AM PST by fredhead ("It is a good thing war is so terrible, or we should grow too fond of it." General Robert E. Lee)
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To: TheBigB
Time Waster
43 posted on 03/04/2005 9:34:53 AM PST by JimWforBush
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To: BJClinton


44 posted on 03/04/2005 9:36:53 AM PST by Dead Corpse (The neighborhood is pretty dead at night, and I'm the one to blame....)
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To: BJClinton
ArGee:Why is a woman better than a bottle of fine wine.

BJClinton: Beets the hell out of me.

Yeah, I'm stumped too. And it's a real problem. I keep telling my wife that she's better than a bottle of fine wine and this morning she called my bluff. Now if I don't come up with an answer by the time I get home it's couch city. I'm in a real bind, too. Consider:

A bottle of wine doesn't care how you leave the toilet seat.

A bottle of wine doesn't care if you pick up your socks before you go to bed.

A bottle of wine doesn't comment on your weight, your posture, or you choice of clothing - in front of its friends.

A bottle of wine never complains when you grab it and it doesn't even matter where.

I'm having trouble coming up with the downside.

Any takers?

Shalom.

45 posted on 03/04/2005 9:38:00 AM PST by ArGee (Why do we let queers tell us what's normal?)
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To: JimWforBush

oops link not working, try this

http://www.mtbireland.com/dodge.html


46 posted on 03/04/2005 9:38:50 AM PST by JimWforBush
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To: TheBigB; wingblade
10 TRUTHS BLACK AND HISPANIC PEOPLE KNOW, BUT WHITE PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:

1. Elvis is dead.
2. Jesus was not White.
3. Rap music is here to stay.
4. Kissing your pet is not cute or clean.
5. Skinny does not equal s... e... x... y...
6. Thomas Jefferson had black children.
7. A 5-year old child is too big for a stroller.
8. N' SYNC will never hold a candle to the Jackson 5.
9. An occasional *ss-whooping helps a child stay in line.
10. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal.

10 TRUTHS WHITE AND BLACK PEOPLE KNOW, BUT HISPANIC PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:

1. Hickies are not attractive.
2. Chicken is food, not a roommate.
3. Jesus is not a name for your son.
4. Your country's flag is not a car decoration.
5. Maria is a name but not for every other daughter.
6. "Jump out and run" is not in any insurance policies.
7. 10 people to a car is considered too many.
8. Buttoning just the top button of your shirt is a bad fashion statement.
9. Mami and Papi can't possibly be the nickname of every person in your family.
10.Letting your children run wildly through the store is not normal.

10 TRUTHS WHITE AND HISPANIC PEOPLE KNOW, BUT BLACK PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:

1. O. J. did it.
2. Tupac is dead.
3. Teeth should not be decorated.
4. Weddings should start on time.
5. Your pastor doesn't know everything.
6. Jesse Jackson will never be President.
7. RED is not a kool-aid flavor, it's a color.
8. Church does not require expensive clothes.
9. Crown Royal bags are meant to be thrown away.
10. Your rims and sound system should not be worth more than your car.

47 posted on 03/04/2005 9:38:56 AM PST by hoosier_RW_conspirator ("Our inventories are steeped in capability." -- AVatian)
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To: Dead Corpse


Heh, that website has some good stuff on it.
48 posted on 03/04/2005 9:41:41 AM PST by BJClinton (What's the difference between the Super Bowl and the Grammy's? The Eagles have won a Grammy)
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To: ArGee; JMJ333; Tourist Guy; EODGUY; abandon; Khepera; Dakmar; RichInOC; RebelDawg; onyx; AMERIKA; ..
Not BRAAD, but fun.

Thanks ArGee J

Hey! I found our old "Ping/Member" List:

ArGee;Fiddlstix;JMJ333;Tourist Guy;EODGUY;proud2bRC;abandon;Khepera;Dakmar;RichInOC;RebelDawg;onyx;AMERIKA;Dr. Good Will Hunting;GreatOne;John O;StriperSniper;B Knotts;Tolerance Sucks Rocks;onyx;M.K. Borders;1 FELLOW FREEPER;wwjdn;f.Christian;earonthief;Sierrawasp;Joe Driscoll;billbears;IM2Phat4U;BeforeISleep;Brad's Gramma;Xenalyte

I knew I had it around here somewhere. I never throw anything away. LOL

WE'RE BRAAD!
WE'RE HERE. WE'RE INTOLERANT. GET USED TO IT!

ALL HAIL ArGee! The founder of BRAAD! Our Fearless Leader!

I'm Still BRAAD To The Bone!

Click For BRAAD Theme Music

49 posted on 03/04/2005 9:44:00 AM PST by Fiddlstix (This Tagline for sale. (Presented by TagLines R US))
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To: Dead Corpse; pissant

Hey pissant - check out #44. HongKonFooey's got nutt'n on Rummy


50 posted on 03/04/2005 9:45:37 AM PST by stainlessbanner
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