Posted on 03/17/2005 9:47:55 AM PST by EveningStar
There is an Irishman getting ready to jump to his death from a bridge when a priest walks past.
The man turns to the priest and says, "Don't try to stop me father, I'm going to jump."
"Don't jump." says the priest, "It can't be that bad. Think of the life you have yet to live."
"That's one of the reasons I'm jumping." says the Irishman.
"Well if that won't stop you, think about your family." says the priest.
"That's another reason." says the Irishman.
"Well think about your job." says the priest.
"There's another reason." says the Irishman.
"Well if that won't stop you think about St. Patrick." says the priest.
"Who's that?" asks the Irishman.
"Jump, you Protestant bastard!" yells the priest.
good one.
See if you care for this one.
A man walks into a pub in Dublin for the first time. After finding a seat, he orders three pints of Guinness.
When they arrive, he drinks all three, by himself, taking a sip out of each pint in turn. He does this every day for a week, after which time the bartender works up enough nerve to suggest that the beer might be fresher if he ordered them one at a time. The man laughs and explains that he is one of three brothers, one of whom lives in Australia and the other in America.
The day they split to go their separate ways, they promised that they would each drink this way to remember the happy days they had together in Dublin. At that, the bartender nods his head approvingly. The man becomes a regular at the bar and he always drinks his Guinness in the same way: three pints drinking them each in turn.
One day in late February, the man looking rather somber comes into the pub and orders only two pints of beer. The bartender and other regulars notice the missing pint and guess its significance – something must have happened. After the man finishes his two beers, the bartender approaches him and says, "I don’t want to interrupt you in your time of sorrow, but since you are such a faithful customer, I feel that I should offer you my condolences. I am sorry about your brother."
The man looks momentarily confused and then says, "Oh, oh no, no cause for grief. My brother hasn’t died. I’ve just given up beer for Lent."
That's one pretty funny.
Now, it's your turn.
I have absolutely no ability to retain a joke in my head or tell one for that matter. I sure wish I could. :-)
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.