Posted on 01/06/2006 5:49:22 AM PST by BJClinton
Cool, the first OFST of the new year. My only standing resolution was to make no more resolutions and I've already broken it. *shrugs*
He should have asked them which child they wanted him to get rid of...
Pelosi may well try to get the gig for herslf..to keep her position safe..BTW..congrats on the National championship!!
ROFL..........
Happy Friday BJ
Don't our boys look great in above photos
WOOHOO TEXASSSSSSSSS NATIONALLLLLLLL CHAMPSSSSSSSSSS
in the top 25... cool...
Is Ted Kennedy still standing up at that hour?
LOL
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/1552441/posts
My Christmas Eve
Me | 1/05/2006 | Me
Posted on 01/05/2006 11:30:01 AM CST by najida
This is great
I scored:
Enterprise D (from Star Trek)
I rule.
Yo man I here ya bout dang ole drink more man.
Dang ole chug chug man, I tell you what.
Dang ole beers good for you man, dang ole talking bout WOOHH HHOOOHH man. Yep.
Green M&M’s
My kids are eating M&M’s at the dining room table, and I see that they are sorting them by color. I asked them why they were doing that, and the response was that green M&M’s make you horny. I laughed at the kid and said something like “yes, like you kids could tell if your are more horny”.
Few days later, my wife, Attila and I are in Kmart wandering the aisles, when I spotted M&M’s. I threw 4 bags in the cart, just cause I’m a good guy.
On the ride home, a plot hatched.
The kids were out on dates, or what ever they did at night (they were like Dracula, only went out after dark.) Attila the wife and I very carefully opened the M&M packages and sorted them out by color. We put the green ones in one package, and the rest in the other packages.
We carefully resealed the bags, so nobody could tell they were opened.
A couple of days pass, and all the kids are home. Even a couple of strange ones, you know, from the neighborhood. I break out the M&M’s and pass the loaded bags to the kids. They start looking in the bags and find NO GREEN M&M’s!!!!
Attila and I are in the dining room, and we break out our bag, all GREEN!
We just spread them on the table, munching them and talking. Pretty soon, one of the kids notice we have all green.
I put on some slow music and Attila and I start dancing. Now, nothing embarrasses teenagers like their parents dancing. And it is a parents duty to give maximum embarrassment to teenagers.
A few minutes later, Attila and I gather up our green M&M’s and go off into the bedroom . We stay in there a little while, laughing and giggling so the kids can hear us.
Attila emerges from the bedroom, wearing high heels, carrying a whip, a dog collar and a chain. I come out wearing my pirate costume, three-cornered hat, eye patch, and the inflatable parrot on my shoulder. Lets just call the costumes Halloween costumes we kept in the bedroom, and not pursue that subject.
The kids were freaking out!!!! Especially since they had friends over.
A few days later, I caught one of the kids sorting the M&M’s. I asked him what he was doing and he said “I throwing away the green ones”.
There were a couple of drawbacks, however.
The bishop, who lives across the street, insisted that Attila and I go in for counseling. Very few kids came over to our house to visit after this happened.
And I get very strange looks during Halloween evening while wearing my costume.
Happy Friday ToddBush!! Whoo Hoo. Come on 5:00.
As Vince ran that last touchdown in my neighborhood exploded in cheering. When time expired a hell of a lot of left-over fireworks from New Year's Day were launched. Yeah, friggin awesome. Oh yeah, and the honking is still going on.
Dean will do it.
from a half mile away.
with no amplifier.
No further studies are expected.They needed a study to figure that out?
First Page. 
-Eric
I go home, take my bath and discover that the toilets now sound like B52's at take-off. And I now have one more story to tell our niece about her Uncle, the Man Without Fear (and too much beer).
*****
Very, very funny........... a story of perseverance.
If you have a water pick for your teeth, I wonder how that works now.
;-)
(Thanks to Grouchy Old cripple Blog) Pre Ski Exercises...
The ski season is not to far off...
This list of exercises will help you get ready...
Visit your local butcher and pay $30 to sit in the walk-in freezer for half an hour.
Afterwards, burn two $50 dollar bills to warm up.
Soak your gloves and store them in the freezer after every use.
Fasten a small, wide rubber band around the top half of your head before you go to bed each night.
If you wear glasses, begin wearing them with glue smeared on the lenses. Throw away a hundred dollar bill - RIGHT NOW!
Find the nearest ice rink and walk across the ice 20 times in your ski boots carrying two pairs of skis, accessory bag and poles. Pretend you are looking for your car. Sporadically drop things.
Place a small but angular pebble in your shoes, line them with crushed ice, and then tighten a C-clamp around your toes.
Buy a new pair of gloves and IMMEDIATELY THROW ONE AWAY!
Secure one of your ankles to a bedpost and ask a friend to run into you at high speed.
Go to McDonald's and insist on paying $8.50 for a hamburger. Be sure you are in the longest line.
Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket, get on a motorcycle and ride fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face.
Drive slowly for five hours - anywhere - as long as it's in a snowstorm and you're following an 18-wheeler.
Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the spray blast your face. Leave the ice on your face until it melts. Let it drip onto your clothes.
Slam your thumb in a car door and don't bother to go see a doctor.
Repeat all of the above every Saturday and Sunday until you're ready for the real thing!
OUCH!
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