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Humorous Similes (Vanity)
2/14/2005
| snardius
Posted on 02/14/2006 9:58:01 AM PST by Snardius
Post your favorite similes. Funny ones preferred. The best will be rewarded with my list of favorite Country/Western song titles...
TOPICS: Humor; The Poetry Branch
KEYWORDS: funny; satire; similes
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
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To: saganite
A+ on your homework assignment. You're sharp as a tack
To: stainlessbanner
Faster than corn through a goose...
42
posted on
02/14/2006 1:33:46 PM PST
by
Snardius
(And you KNOW what I'm talking about...)
To: Keith in Iowa
We have a radio jock in the area who, when asked "how are you," always answers "finer than frog hair split four ways and sanded smooth."
43
posted on
02/14/2006 1:40:50 PM PST
by
NerdDad
To: Snardius
I got quite a few reactions when I had the following as a tag line a couple months ago:
"There are few things worse than chili strained thru a dog."
44
posted on
02/14/2006 1:42:47 PM PST
by
NerdDad
To: NerdDad
"There are few things worse than chili strained thru a dog."They've never owned a dog then...
45
posted on
02/14/2006 1:46:42 PM PST
by
Snardius
(And you KNOW what I'm talking about...)
To: Snardius
Here's an oldie that just occurred to me.
Happy as a tick on a fat puppy dog.
46
posted on
02/14/2006 2:49:03 PM PST
by
saganite
(The poster formerly known as Arkie 2)
To: saganite
Reminds me of an old Georgia boy friend who, after a good meal, would announce, "Boy howdy, I am as full as a tick." Still makes me laugh, although when I have tried the same line here in Marin County for some reason it doesn't seem to have the same impact.
To: Snardius
She's ugly like she was hit with a Mac Truck full of ugly sticks?
48
posted on
02/14/2006 4:08:13 PM PST
by
MikefromOhio
(Brokeback Mountain: The ONLY western where the Cowboys GET IT IN THE END!!!)
To: Snardius
This thread is just Slicker than GooseShit.....
49
posted on
02/14/2006 4:08:52 PM PST
by
MikefromOhio
(Brokeback Mountain: The ONLY western where the Cowboys GET IT IN THE END!!!)
To: Snardius
As nervous as a cat in a rocking chair factory.
50
posted on
02/14/2006 4:10:01 PM PST
by
Casloy
To: RockinRight
As queer as Richard Simmons at a gay bar.....
51
posted on
02/14/2006 4:10:18 PM PST
by
MikefromOhio
(Brokeback Mountain: The ONLY western where the Cowboys GET IT IN THE END!!!)
To: SoothingDave; Chi-townChief
I gotta piss LIKE a racehorse!from my pregnant daughter..."I have to pee like it's my job!"
52
posted on
02/14/2006 4:14:19 PM PST
by
Dutchgirl
(Jeg er en Dane. (I am a Dane.))
To: Snardius
My favorite smiley.
53
posted on
02/14/2006 4:18:52 PM PST
by
Delta 21
(MKC USCG-ret)
To: Delta 21
Cold as a witch's teat in a brass bra...
As nervous as a LONG TAIL cat in a room full of rocking chairs
54
posted on
02/14/2006 4:26:46 PM PST
by
GRRRRR
(Demokrats. Hitliary and the ACLU are the domestic enemy)
To: Snardius
"Smile this...you pencil-necked geek!!!"
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;-) |
55
posted on
02/14/2006 4:33:22 PM PST
by
Fintan
(Shut up. You're rude and silly. And ugly.)
To: Snardius
"It's like having sex with your girlfriend on the hood of your wife's car while your wife is honking the horn. Pretty damn exciting, but not much fun."
56
posted on
02/14/2006 4:33:51 PM PST
by
Dashing Dasher
(Happy Valentine's Day!)
To: MikeinIraq
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St. Patrick's Day is only a month away. Oh, and aren't these girls cute??? |
57
posted on
02/14/2006 4:48:33 PM PST
by
Fintan
(Shut up. You're rude and silly. And ugly.)
To: Fintan
LOL
well my future Brother in Law is having his bachelor's party that night....
I kinda doubt I'll be FReeping much that day....
58
posted on
02/14/2006 4:52:24 PM PST
by
MikefromOhio
(Brokeback Mountain: The ONLY western where the Cowboys GET IT IN THE END!!!)
To: Snardius
Not really a simile, but one of the best expressions of disdain for a person that I have ever heard. Got it from an old boss of mine:
"I wouldn't p!ss in his mouth if his guts were on fire."
59
posted on
02/15/2006 10:27:56 AM PST
by
NerdDad
To: Fintan
If I agree that they are cute, are they old enough that I'm gonna stay out of jail?
60
posted on
02/15/2006 10:35:02 AM PST
by
NerdDad
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