Posted on 07/08/2006 7:59:32 PM PDT by Libloather
Are you a retread? Have you been banned before? You sure don't act like a newbie who doesn't know the way around.
THat "U" thing is aways non-natives.
I would normally say "IBTZ" but I think this situation needs some insights from elsewhere.
But knock of the "moron" type insults, newbie.
It is a double-troll night.
Adios.
Women who are mature ADULTS, especially with four babies at home, DON'T run to talk with girlfriend after fight with husband.
If you know these adults females, then that says much about you. They aren't WOMEN, just adult females who are still running to girlfriends, instead of running home to their FAMILY, babies and husband.
If mature married women have problems at home, they see their parents, pastors or marriage counselors, especially problems like the one in this article. Running to girlfriends OBVIOUSLY wasn't a solution, since her husband was busy murdering their four babies and himself while she was "visiting her girlfriend."
Those are not *rules* of mine -- those are just facts of life.
You give a lot of "maybes" in your response. THAT IS WHAT I BEGAN WITH.....I was "wondering" about her. But perhaps you didn't *read* all of my responses, only the ones you didn't like. I am not *surprised* at that, not at *all*.
Anyway, WONDERING was my FIRST premise and I stick with it.
Some stories have Andrea Yates normal. I find that hard to believe. I also find it hard that husband had no clues. Mind you, men are usually busy at work, but not to see ANY clues? I don't buy that either.
Andrea Yates didn't kill herself...and that says volumes. She was NOT suicidal, like this father. She just killed her babies and cried. She's still crying.
This father was desperate enough to put an end to HIS life as well as those of his babies. There SEEMS to be more differences between the two than similaries, but I'm sure YOU have it all figured out. Lol.
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1. Seriously, you need to work on your understanding of personal boundaries.
2. There was nothing that she did or could have done to *make* him do this.
1. What have "personal boundaries" to do with his murder or with anything on this thread? Or is that a catch phrase that you try to work into your puerile scolds? Your thinking is as nonsequiter as can be.
2. I NEVER excused his murders in any way....NEVER. You are reading your own words into what I wrote and that is just wrong.
I don't know where you get the arrogance and meaness to accuse me of that and I don't know if you do it out of malice or stupidity or both. How dare you? You should be ASHAMED of yourself for reading such an evil idea into my words.
You are correct.
I DID start out with "I was wondering."
From that wondering, one sick poster accused me of excusing the father from the murders.
This IS a discussion site, isn't it? :o)
Perhaps you might benefit from some conversation with your parents, minister, school counselor or someone you know, love and trust. Perhaps THEY can help you through your grief.
Reading a discussion thread on the Free Republic about these deaths is probably the worst thing you can do.
But don't take MY word for it. Ask your parents.
Thanks for the heads-up.
My daughter stayed in her marriage because she believed that marriage was FOREVER. She knew if she told us what he was doing to her we would have forced her to leave him. Her husband threateded suicide on a regular basis often with a gun right beside him. My daughter stayed because she said she would never be able to live with herself if he killed himself because of her. She finally got the courage to leave when she started to fear for the safety of her children.
Starfish, spousal abuse often happens slowly and gets progressively worse. The abuser browbeats the victim into believing they deserve the abuse. Also, financial reasons keep people together even if they desperately want out. There are not nearly enough shelters for abused women to use for escape. I don't care what you say or how brave you think you are. If you thought a crazy relative might come murder your daughter or your grandchildren, who lives with you, you would be afraid, too.
Talk is cheap. Walk a mile in my shoes or the shoes of an abused wife and you will see there are no simple answers.
Starfish923, while you are doing all your praying maybe you should pray for a brain and a heart. You know absolutely nothing about what you are talking about.
Your head is soooo far up your butt I don't know where to start. When I married my ex he liked a drink now and then, by the end of our 16 year marriage he was a raging abusive alcoholic. One of his "buttons" I pushed was telling him the weather forcast before he left for work. Tell me how to avoid things like that. Many people still believe that marriage is forever and we don't end it unless our life is at risk. How do you know when someone is going to snap. It must be convienient being psychic. Most of us are not so blessed.
Oh PS I have had the same best friend since I was sixteen. I am now forty eight. When anything bad or good happens I call her first. She's the person that knows me best and will tell me the truth instead of what I want to hear or what she feels she should say. I trust her most of all. Too bad you don't understand that kind of friendship.
"You have no right to bagger Amanda."
Let's bagger lmf because it can be done...;)
Am I reading the article wrong...sounds to me like the kids were his, and she was the step mom????
Becky
Well, HALF of it is true. So it's HALF-brilliant, HALF-succint. Remember, it always, always and always take TWO to figh.
Are none of us responsible for NOT pushing buttons?
You may not be aware of it but button pushers are bullies, control freaks who know the vulnerable spots in people. They attack, tease, provoke and otherwise rile people up because that's what they do.
I've been a teacher since 1969 and have taught ALL grades but have been at the college level for the past 20 years.
I've seen the provacateurs do their nasty, vile, evil work on the weakest, most vulnerable and GIRLS are just as prone to bully as boys, but in a MUCH different ways. Girls tease, ridicule, mock and otherwise push buttons as nastily as boys.
It seems to me that NOT pushing buttons, or NOT provoking, teasing, etc., is the OTHER half of the equation.
Provoking is mean, controlling and manipulative....especially when the provoker knows FULL WELL what s/he is doing. There are NO worse button pushers than spouses because they know the full breadth of their words and actions. I also include actions like: NOT talking (the silent treatment), ignoring, sulking/brooding (worse than mere pouting), walking out and such....REMEMBER, these are done as button pushing.
Are you LOVING this lesson too? These are lessons that most of us learn in our teens. GoLightly and you seem NOT to have learned THIS other HALF of the equation.
I do agree that we are all responsible to disarm our own buttons, including those buttons that TAKE AIM at others' buttons. So, if what SHE said is the "most important thing on this thread" then you also are HALF right. Now, go for the OTHER HALF.
Without doing that then the discussion only HALF said and HALF done.
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