Bagpipe touring groups circa 1996

Bagpipe humor e-mail from Chuck Jamison | 9/06/2006

[sionnsar]

Full touring companies:

The Three Tenors (At first an embarrassing tie-in accident, now a growing musical cult sensation.) With: The Three Other Tenors (Or 3 side drummers who didn't make the cut but still found a spot in the circle.)

Brayed Hard (A child-endearing "donkey basketball" reenactment of Scotland's struggle for independence under William Wallace, organized by the Ishkabibble Temple combined pipe and Oriental bands, with cameo appearances from this regionally renowned fraternity's "Kiltie Klown Klub," and "Flingin' Flamin' Fezzez" go-kart drill team.

Brae Fahrdt (An all-woman rendering of the Highland battle for liberty from the view of the repressed warrior-Woman-being trapped in a misogynous patriarchal society, conceived in the back seat of a Morris Minor by Celtic trans-gender performance artist, Sinusaid O' Dammer.

Brig O' Dumb (The Lewis and Martin comedy version from the Broadway musical)

Brig O' Dumb and Dumber (From the recently remade Carey LA screen adaptation)

Brig O' Dune (The Sting sci-fi version)

Kiltie Commandos

Blowpipe Monkeys

Stoned Temple Pipers

Pipe Zombie

The Red Hot Chili Pipers ("Piobaireachd Ground")

Bag Marley and the Inhalers

Factory Equipped Airbags

Iggy Pipe ("White Pipe, White Heat")

MC Chanter ("Can't Tune This")

Drones EFX

Assaultin' Pipa

Bonnet Trimmed in Blue (The next police-sponsored pipe band)

Pipe Shop Boys

Piobwretched ("MacCrimmon is No More--and My Performance Just Killed His Music Too")

The Black Iron Pipe Band (Sponsored by Harry's Plumbing)

Our Ladysmiths From Hell Black Watch Mambata ("Diamonds on the Sole of my Chanter," "Gumbrogues")

Mick Bagger and The Rolling Drones ("Strike Me Up" "Brown-Eyed Birl" "Jumpin Jack Garter Flashes," "Brown Sugar Will Do, But Airtight is Better")

The Tartan Underground (With PM New Reed)

Styx and Drones ("Come Wail Away")

Regi-Mental Breakdown

The Black Crowing High A's ("Hard to Handle--Much Less to Blow")

The Neo-Sporran's (This band usually promotes rapid healing, but check with your doctor for contra-indications)

Bag Test Dummies ("PM Shuffled His Feet," "Afternoons and Piping Loons)

The Beastie Bags ("You Got 2 Fight 4 Your Right-Quick-March")

Sheila E's In Together, In Tune

The Electric Pipe Orchestra ("Medieval Great Pipe")

Drumran Drumran ("Her Name is REMO")

Emerson, Lake, and Piper ("What a Lucky Band They Was")

Jabot Tull ("Aqualung,"...the story of an ill-fated experiment with GHB and SCUBA gear "Sounds From the Wood"

Steppenoff ("Sporran to be Wild")

Steppenwool ("Magic Koza Ride," "Earsplittenloudenpiper")

Iron Baggerfly ("Idon'gottadaDthrow")

The Bee Gee Dee Ees ("How Can You Mend a Broken Drone," "The Pipes All Went Out in Massachussets," "Playin' a Hide,"...the theme from "Saturday Pipe Fever,"...ah ah ah ah, playin' a hide, playin' a hide...)

The Bagtles ("Plaid in the USSR," "Ticket to Pipe")

Ku Klux Klan MacFarlane

KISS (Kilts in Satan's Service, "I Wanna Talk an' Blow All Night," "A World Without Tartan")

Sergeant Piper's Lonely Kilt's Club Band

Dead Kennedy Chanters

Alice Piper ("Billion Dollar Bagpipes")

Bag Company ("Can't Get Enough O' Your Pump)

Bag Finger ("If you Want Kitsch, Here it Is, I Can Fake It")

Compressed Airheads

Piping Enemy ("There Go da Highland Games"...Who are these black boys? Who let them play? Who gave them kilts to wear, and did they pay?)

Gunns and Brogues ("Pipin' Dice City," commemorating the 1995 WUSPBA championships in Reno Nevada)

Diana Ross Drone Reeds and the Champion Supremes

Average Pipe Band (APB)

The Royal Highland Blown-Fusilliers.

Kitchener's Revenge (AKA: "Spiking Pumpkins")

Bob Roldoff and the Beer-Tent Rats (Roldoff is the organizer of "Pipe Aid," known as "Banned Plaid" in the UK)

The Skirelles ("My Boy Friend's Bag," "Leader of the Pipes")

Her Majesty's Royal Scottish Cacaphones (Spelling is correct. "Scotched off their Rocks" just re-released)

Less Blown and His Band is Unknown

The Baggy Goodman Orchestra ("In the Tube," "High-A Train," "The Lady is a Drummer," "Begin the Bagging," "Puttin' on the Spats," "Over Blare," "It Don't Mean a Thing if it Ain't Got That Pain," "Shuttle off to Buffalo")

The Gland Filler Orchestra (A 30 piece Czek bladderpipe swing band)

Birl Haggis

Men Without Hats Get the Band Disqualified ("We Can Country Dance if we Want To")

Shawm Lennon ("Beer Prudence")

John Lemluath ("Beautiful Baby Boyds," "Imagine all the Piobars")

Minnie Hynde and the Pretenders to Grade 1 ("Back on the Tune Gang--Please?," and the theme to the Tuning-rush Lameblow talk radio show.)

Baggy Dronedust and the Pipers From Bars (Featuring David Blowie, fresh from his "Class Piper" tour.)

Mott the Hummelchen ("All the Young Druids")

Deep Pipal ("Drones on the Water")

Jamie Hendrickson ("All Along the Blackwatchtower," "Hey, Dinhinren, Joe, Dinhinren"...where ya goin' with Art Gunn in hand?... "Foxy Laddie")

The Beachbag Boys (The Quebecois Breton band touring Europe as, "Les Gasgardes du Biniou de la Plage," "Little Piper Girl," "Caledonia Birls," and the breakthrough album, "Pipe Sounds."

Naill Young and Crazy Horsehair ("All in A Drone"...I was lyin' on a burned-out bagpipe, a bass drone in my eye. I was cookin' up some homemade seasoning, when it blew into the sky... "Played through the Desert on A Bag With no Moisture," "Old Man, Take a Look at My Pipes," "Southern Band," "God Never Gave Nothin' to the Tin-eared," "Cinnamon Birl," "Keep on Pipin' in the Free World")

Tom Pipey and the Harp Breakers ("Into the Grade 1 Open," "I Won't Blank in the Ground")

Geordie Notsogood and de Strike-iners ("Bad to the Zambogna")

Blown Wet and the Blackheartwoods

PMF ("What's Your High A Frequency Kenneth?" "The End of the Birl as we Know It")

The Low D Cranberries

Goo Gooey Bags

Better than Ezra and the Scoresheets Prove It

Breck ("I'm a Piper Baby, so Why Don't You Kill Me?")

Blue Rocky Mountain Oyster and Face Paint Cult

The Alan Parson's Ammonia Project (From their "A Bag Neglected" tour)

Bellows Costello ("Watchin' the Distentions," "My A is True")

Swawking Headstocks (With David Burns, "Plaid as it Ever Was," "Burning Down the Hose"

Blarey Numan ("In Bars")

Spandau Strathspey (One lone Highland dance Nazi)

ABBAGPIPEBAND ("Watertrap," "Highland Dancing Queen")

Fleetwood MacAllister (With DS Stevie Sticks, "Don't Stop Dronin' 'Bout Tomorrow's MSR Event")

PC/DC ("For Those About to Pipe, We Salute You")

Bay City Blowers ("Saturday Pipe")

John Bellowscramp ("P-I-P-E in the USA," oh yeah..."Pipes Go On,"...long after the thrill of hearin' is gone)

Slide and the Family Drone ("Don't Call Me Drummer, Piper")

Tootie and the Blowpipes

14.25" Naills

Pipus ("Naills From the Punchbowl")

The Bb + 15-30 cents 52's

Lipppthhh Inc.

KC St. Andrews and the Sunshine Band ("That's the Way...uh huh uh huh...I Pipe It")

Ohio Pipers ("Airtight," "Lung Rollercoaster," "Play That Funky Music Pipe Boy")

Silly Bridle ("Pipe Wedding," "Rebel Bellows")

Baggins and Medina Shrine Band ("Your Momma Can't Dance the Fling and Your Daddy Can't Tune his Drone")

Def Leppardskin (Back together after the loss of 1/4 of the drum section)

Billy Jabot ("Only the Good Reeds Die Young," "Our Scottish Restaurant,"...was closed by the health department..."Piobar Man," "River of Drones."

APB (Average Pipe Band)

Blareosmith ("Squawk This Way," "Drone Sweet Drone," "Drone On")

Van Inhalen ("Pump")

The Tubes (With lead singer, Fee Wayblown, "Pipe to Ya' Later" and "Only the Strong Should Pipe"...why don't you wake up from your fantasy...)

KILTO ("Pipe It"...pipe it good... "Wake Up Piper Boy," "Shout!...or We Can't Hear the Rolloff Back Here"

The Kharkies ("Candy Overblown," "My Best Friend's Birl," "Just What I Pleated," "Since You're Blown," "Touch and Blow," "Drumbeat City," "I'm Not the Drone," "Shake it Up Before You Put it In the Bag")

Thomas Droneby ("Deafened Me With Side Drums")

Megabreth ("Pipal Scream")

The New Vaudeville Pipe Band ("Sadie Moonshine's Got No Bags")

The Lost Gonzo Dog-shaped Bagpipe Band

The Boston Pipes Orchestra (With guest soloist, "Piobaireachi")

The Vienna Boyd's Choir ("The Lord Plays my Shepherd," "L&Messiah")

Bag Dillon ("Blowin' in the Stick," "The Drones They Are a Changin'," "Play Laddie Play"...blowin' on your big bass drone... "Every Bag Must Get Blown")

Dudy Collins ("Farewell to Tarwathie I've Lost the Gig," "Send in the Drones," "Both Clydes Now," "Amazing Gracenotes")

Drone Bagez ("The Night They Droned Neil Dickie Down")

Dronna Fargo ("Happiest Birl in the Whole USA")

Bagman Toarluath Overblown ("You Ain't Burst Nothin' Yet," "Takin' Care of Big Sticks")

The Alma Games Authority ("Does Anyone Really Know What Time it Is?")

Tubey Blews ("Pipes in White Satin")

Pipal Harum ("Piper's Plaid of Naills")

The PM Formerly Known as "Prince," and the "New Piper Generation." ("Little Red Cornemuse," "Party Like It's Mint MacDougalls for $19.99")

Blackwood Uruhu

Blackwatch 42

Piobair Frampton ("I Want You, Blow Me Away")

Piobair Gabriel ("This Time You've Blown Too Hard")

The Fabulous Thunderboyds

Baggy Holly and the Racketts

Robert the Bruce Springreed and the E Skreeetch Band ("Blinded by the Pipes"...wrapped up like a dudy or a koza in the night...)

Dire Strikes ("No Money or Nothin' But the Beer is Free")

[sionnsar]

[sionnsar]

Pipes and Drums of FreeRepublic ping!

This is an ultra-low-volume ping list (typically weeks to months between pings).
FReepmail sionnsar if you want on or off this list.

Going to the Games? Organize a Clan FReeper get-together!

[winston2]

One night my wife and I were walking through downtown San Antonio. Somewhere within a block or two someone was doing quite good with a bagpipe. I couldn't even tell from which direction the music was coming from. It was pretty cool to me - but - I couldn't have taken a nap with the pipe blowing going on.

BTW - I do love Celtic music!

[pipecorp]

good stuff , nearly choked on my chanter.

[winston2]

[Tax-chick]

Our Ladysmiths From Hell Black Watch Mambata ("Diamonds on the Sole of my Chanter," "Gumbrogues")

LOL!

[Tax-chick]

That happened to us once in Washington, D.C.

I knew a bagpiping lady in San Antonio, married to an actuary in my department at USAA.

[decal]

"One night my wife and I were walking through downtown San Antonio. Somewhere within a block or two someone was doing quite good with a bagpipe."

That's a feller name of Rusty - plays catercorner from the downtown Hilton most evenings.

One-of-a-kind, to put it mildly...

[decal]

The Dours - The Soft-Step Parade (because they always end up lined up just behind the horses...)

[Candor7]

World Pipe Band Championships, August 13, 2005

This is a picture of the Graham Highlanders of Saint Johnsbury Academy, Vermont,posing in front of Doulton Fountain just next to Glasgow Green, the setting of the World Pipe Band Championships. This was the first time this "backwoods" pipe band had played in Scotland, and they placed 12th out of 21 in their division (4B), higher than any other North American pipe band. This was an amazing accomplishment for a bunch of high school kids.

[If you want your children or grandchildren to learn drumming, highland dance or piping, send them to us, we have a Celtic Arts program where students get a course credit for study and practise.]

http://www.grahamhighlanders.com

http://www.stjohnsburyacademy.org

[winston2]

Thanks to both of you for your information.

Rusty - you say? That's cool!

[Slings and Arrows]

[winston2]

HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA

That's a scream!

[Slings and Arrows]

Now I'm hearing John Denver singing "The Drunken Scotsman Song."