Posted on 03/29/2007 10:47:15 PM PDT by Silly
Folks in Freeper land, I could use your encouragement, prayers, comfort and support tonight. After battling my employer over a verbally and physically abusive boss, I had to clean out my office today.
Don't panic yet -- I'm continuing on payroll indefinitely. But after I reported the abuse, and was removed from her building, I was given an office from which I could search for a job. I needed that, because I need to be around midtown for interviews (and I have had some). Tomorrow in fact I have two interviews.
I'll try to summarize this quickly:
My boss is notoriously abusive, verbally, to people. But as her assistant, I get more abuse than anyone. They at least can close their doors or hang up the phone. I cannot. I was at her mercy for a year, and even began having nightmares about it.
She is an extremely physical, active and fit woman. Many times her rage is so great you think she will snap out at you. That in itself is hard to be around.
And then she actually did it. She struck me in her office, while having one of her fits of anger.
After that, the nightmares became very frequent. Some days I could not get up in the morning. Once, awaking from a nightmare, I sat in my chair at home from 6 am to 6 pm, trying to calm myself down. That day i failed to call in to work. Of course, it was a problem.
And then I went on disability for two months to recover psychologically. I still am not there yet. Every time someone in a job interview asks, "Why are you looking for another job?" it all comes back. How do you answer a question like that?
Human Resources actually made it worse. The woman I reported it to betrayed me. When I got her off the case, her boss took over. This week I learned he has been lying about things too. I knew I couldn't trust him, but I couldn't believe he'd be so brash about it.
So the vacant office I've been using for my job search is no longer available to me. No email, so prospects will now wonder, "If you're still at your company, why aren't you still at your company? What's up?"
It could be worse -- I could have my pay cut off. But that will happen soon enough. They're pulllng me away one piece at a time.
(I sure am glad I filed that police report. But it won't really help.)
Let's get together tonight, Friday, and get silly together.
The Irish Pub
7th Avenue and 54th Street, SE corner
Say, 5 PM...?
Keep this thread alive, folks. Thanks and good night.
Trying to still be,
Silly
Ping to the Happy Hour crowd... Sure hope some of you can come tomorrow night.
I've gotta get some sleep. Please keep this thread alive. It'll cheer me up in the morning.
Silly
Walk to the police station file a police report, demand she is arrested for assault. Then get a lawyer. ( Please tell us you took pictures of the marks from the assault.... please tell us that)
.
I feel for you, we just got rid of a real bad one after 5 years of tirades, irrationality, and insanity. Its funny, I just thinking about this guy tonight on the way from work. Here's hoping everything works out for you..
None of this is expensive and it will put the fear of God into the abusive. You may or may not actually be able to sue them but as long as they think you might they'll give you space.
God bless you. Losing a job under any circumstance is traumatic. Been there, done that. Guess what? You'll wake up in the morning and the world will still be turning. They DO NOT matter. You do.
"And then she actually did it. She struck me in her office, while having one of her fits of anger.
After that, the nightmares became very frequent. Some days I could not get up in the morning. Once, awaking from a nightmare, I sat in my chair at home from 6 am to 6 pm, trying to calm myself down. That day i failed to call in to work. Of course, it was a problem.
And then I went on disability for two months to recover psychologically. I still am not there yet. Every time someone in a job interview asks, "Why are you looking for another job?" it all comes back. How do you answer a question like that?
Human Resources actually made it worse. The woman I reported it to betrayed me. When I got her off the case, her boss took over. This week I learned he has been lying about things too. I knew I couldn't trust him, but I couldn't believe he'd be so brash about it."
I think I will try to stay out of this.
My wife and I had dinner at Rosie O'Gradys down the street on Tuesday. We have plans Friday but would like to catch you some other time. I've been known to down a pint or two at the Pub.(or the library bar in the Sheraton Tower)
Sounds as if you may have a federal action with an unfair labor practice/hostile workplace action If you're over 40, did she ever bring up your age?
I bit my tongue till it bled.
Silly, you need a good lawyer. If this woman HIT you, and SHE was allowed to continue working there, your employer is a sitting duck for a successful lawsuit, or more likely a sizeable out of court settlement. Your employer has cemented its sitting-duck status by providing you with an office from which to job-seek and continuing salary, since this is not something which is done for employees who were (or are in the process of being) terminated for cause. Even without witnesses, pictures of marks she left on you, etc., the company's reaction is a de facto admission that you were not the problem.
"I bit my tongue till it bled."
I may as well head over to DU and see if I can find something a little more masculine than this.
Don't do that, you don't want your PC to catch anything.
Shoot guns.
Prayers for you. Hang in there, and here's hoping this crisis brings you new opportunities.
Post Traumatic Struck Syndrome?
This thread is sickening, and just plain silly...
BTW, she probably LIKES you.
I'd love to join you, but I can't make it there until 7 (I work near Princeton).
I can honestly say I appreciate your reaction. However, you don't know this person, and you don't know me. Before you cross a line you'll regret later,
1. I work hard for a living, and worked hard for her. She has ran though over half a dozen assistants in several years. That is a sign of something rotten when most of her peers, especially two-down from the CEO of a major world bank, keep the same assistant for many years. She can't do it.
2. I was reasonable, kind, respectful and patient with her. I probably prayed for this woman every day. I did my utmost to behave.
3. This person is a piece of work. The in-your-face yelling, bullying, intimidation was truly awful. She does it to everyone, but when you're lowest on the ladder and must snap to attention every time the boss needs a phone number or water or a meeting or a file, and she is cruel about it, you are getting the brunt of it. Executives in my area would tiptoe up to the door, afraid to find out what kind of a mood she was in. I had to do the knocking for them, and get yelled at. She can ruin a person's career, their life's work, with one phone call.
4. I stayed because I have a serious illness and depend on medication to live. Without this job and my meds, I would be destitute. It's not an exaggeration. It's the reality of my life. Every day for me is a struggle with my condition. Every day I have to make an effort to get up and get through the day.
5. I was awesome at my job. When I started with her, she was so happy she said she had died and gone to heaven. I was the best thing she had, and she begged me to stay. But her abuse was literally so bad, I had nightmares that prevented me from coming to work. At my desk, my arms and hands would shake when I knew she was coming. On the subway I would get sick. Each day after work it took me a couple of hours to wind down. But I have to work and have to have benefits. Just leaving without a job is not an option.
6. One of the last straws for me was when she tore into an older assistant, a man in his late sixties, in her office in front of her entire staff. She absolutely humiliated him. It was mortifying and if her staff had had any balls they all would have walked out.
I don't want to harp on you, really. I've been the object of abuse too long to want to mete it out on anyone else. But believe me, it was not a pretty year for me.
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