Posted on 04/02/2008 7:02:12 PM PDT by Graybeard58
NEW YORK, NY - The United Nations today passed a resolution apologizing on behalf of the human race to Neanderthal man, for "egregious and shameful" treatment in the past. Anthropologists have known for years that modern man disenfranchised Neanderthals from ancient society to the extent that they caused their extinction. New evidence suggests that Neanderthals resorted to cannibalism in an effort to survive, a horrific revelation that prompted the U.N. to take action. UN General Assembly "This resolution is a first step in the healing process." said UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon. "We have embarked on a long journey to reestablish Human-Neanderthal relations."
Neanderthals, genetic 'cousins' of modern man, lived throughout Europe and West Asia until about 30,000 years ago. Modern man - who was much more fortunate when it came to hunting and gathering - greedily dominated the food and cave supply, leaving the Neanderthals out in the cold, with nothing to eat but each other.
"What was done to those people was reprehensible." said F. Jennings Turknett, Professor of Sociological Anthropology at Howyflyl University. "It's apparent that modern man thought themselves to be superior to the Neanderthals. They practically treated them like they were a different species."
The UN will commence a worldwide search for actual Neanderthal descendents to apologize to. "We believe, as many scientists and sociologists do, that some descendants still live among us." said Ban Ki-moon. "We plan to utilize the starpower of Gary Busey and Nick Nolte to spearhead our search."
Uh-oh, don’t give them any ideas! Good one.
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