Posted on 05/20/2008 9:37:30 PM PDT by Daffynition
1. A black eye. Unless the rim hits your face mid-dunk, your peepers should remain unblemished. You're smart enough to talk your way out of any fight you're going to lose.
2. A witty e-mail signature. Quotes and song lyrics should be heard during toasts and karaoke performances, respectively. Don't let your electronic correspondence become the digital version of a motivational poster.
3. An empty refrigerator. Your larder should be amply stocked, your pantry provisioned. Always aim to be ready to create an on-the-fly, three-course dinner for her...along with breakfast in bed.
4. PlayStation thumb. When they're relaxing, grown men can behave like children. But if you devolve long enough to cause calluses or button-shaped bruises, you're assuredly missing out on life.
5. A key chain with a bottle opener. This bauble is both a gauche reminder of your college days and proof that you don't know how to apply leverage using available, impromptu bottle openers: a lighter, the back end of a fork.
6. A lucky shirt. Every shirt is lucky when worn by a man who knows that the harder he works the luckier he'll be.
7. An unstamped passport.
8. Olympic dreams. Exceptions: curling and archery.
9. Less than $20 in his wallet. Fiduciary nudity is negligence. A real man should always carry a business card and enough dough to pick up coffee, bagels, and the Sunday paper without whipping out the plastic.
10. A name for his penis. Even if it's a really clever name.
11. Any beer that costs less than $20 a case. And no exception for the grand-slam 30-pack that crosses that price threshold.
12. The need to quote The Big Lebowski/ Caddyshack/Superbad. Reciting someone else's lines reminds people that you haven't the wit to write your own.
[snip]
(Excerpt) Read more at men.msn.com ...
17. Drinking glasses with logos.
My highball glasses have "Jack Daniel's" and "Frank Bobo."
A stupid ass list telling him what it takes to be a man?
Just guessin.
Manicures and pedicures.
“What other things should grown men be avoiding? “
Shallow women.
I just ran that calculation, and got a passing grade.
“A gun-less man drawer.”
Nice comeback!
A also have logo mugs -- I get them at Goodwill. They last a year or two and are great for microwave tea and soup. Usually fire company anniversary, some colleges. My favorite was a New York Yacht Club mug -- it sure looked like it was hand-blown glass, which I lost in a nine-ball game.
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I got my last black-eye playing nude beach volley ball.
1. Colored dress shirt w/ a white collar.
2. hand or face cream
3.sandals
4.Speedos
Right on!
As I read through the list I detected the faint odor of male skin care products and the image of tassel loafers. Very light tassel loafers, if you get my drift.
1) AIDS
2) Meddling in-laws.
3) Fake friends.
Plenty of puppies out there. Spay or neuter your pets.
Lists like this?
a sports jersey with another mans name on it.
At least they didn’t list “a comic book collection.”
Was this list written by a woman?
Sheesh. How metro.
Always ask that guy in your office if they bought their pink shirt at Victoria's Secret. And remind them that it is Barbie's favorite color also...
1. A real car - A full-sized sedan, SUV, or Truck. Never a hybrid or a subcompact.
2. The collected written works of at least one of the following: Robert Service, Winston Churchill, Tom Clancy, or P.J. O'Rourke.
3. The following DVD/Videos: The Deer Hunter, The Godfather 1 & 2 (#3 does not count), High Plains Drifter, The Good, The Bad & The Ugly, Animal House, Young Frankenstein.
4. A well-stocked bar and the knowledge of how to make a decent martini.
5. A 1911 .45ACP pistol. He should know how to take it down, clean it, keep it properly lubricated and practice shooting at least once a month.
6. At least one 12-gauge shotgun and one rifle of any of the following cals.: .30-06, .30-30, .308, 7.62mm, 5.56mm.
7. A full-sized gas barbeque grill and the understanding of how to properly prepare and cook raw meat of every variety.
8. At least one real baseball cap - not the cheap adjustable variety, but an official hat of correct size.
9. A black (not brown) leather jacket - not of the overpriced gay desginer variety, but simple, functional, well-made, and dependable.
10. A well-stocked workshop with both metal and woodworking tools, full screwdriver and wrench sets of all commons types, a variety of knives and hardware, including screws, bolts, nuts, grommets, anchors, and pins. Also: at least 1 can of WD-40 is mandatory.
Pony Tails
Wearing Rock Concert T-shirts when going to a concert.
skipping
flip flops in public
hmmmmmm.........
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